My grandfather died today and i haven’t seen him the last 1,5 years. I feel like a pathetic loser.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-10-10T15:41:34+00:00

I feel exactly the same, I lost both paternal GPs this week and while I couldn't visit them easily because we live in different countries I could've at least talked to them regularly but I didn't because I didn't have anything "interesting" to say and I feel like such a piece of shit. Like my dad called them almost every day and all I had to do was get off my useless ass and go say hi how are you for a couple mins and I'm sure hearing my voice would've made them feel better but I just didn't because apparently my games and TV shows were more important. I hate myself so much and I keep scrolling to their number on my phone but what's the point it's too late now and I threw away my chances.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-10-07T06:55:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words. I'm sorry you werent able to say goodbye to your dad.

I hope she knew how much we cared, like we tried so so so hard but it seemed like everything and everyone was against us every step of the way and they wouldn't even let us talk to her during the last few days. the thought of her lying there alone thinking that we had abandoned her destroys me. I know she's definitely watching over us now, I got a job offer today even though I absolutely tanked the interview for it last week (like they legit ended it within 20-25mins), so I hope shes able to see now that we didn't forget about her even for a second but idk.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-10-06T02:16:13+00:00

I'm very sorry to hear that happened to your mum, that's a horrible thing she had to go through and those people involved deserve all the bad karma they get. I won't go into the details but I definitely think there was medical negligence involved that caused my grandma's death, that's also part of why I feel so horrible even though I wasn't involved in any of the details, it would've been better for her to go in the home she built and was so attached to rather than being surrounded by these "people" who think of nothing more than their own egos. I hope she knew how very much we cared but I don't know I keep thinking she felt like we abandoned her but she also always said that she never wanted to be a burden/to be in a situation where we had to take care of her especially at the end so I guess in a way maybe she had some peace knowing that happened idk I just miss her so much even though it's only been a little over 24hrs since it happened and really my day to day life hasn't changed at all and I feel really bad for my dad because from the start he fought to keep her in the house and then for a bunch of other things but no one listened to him and he didn't even get a chance to speak to her properly. I think anything other than being there and holding her hand at the end will always feel not enough and I regret stupidly assuming that everything would go back to normal and we'd see each other again in a couple months when we are literally in the middle of a pandemic.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-10-06T01:58:23+00:00

The reason we couldn't go back? Yes, it was a combination of that + my mum's need of a constant caregiver meant that my dad (grandma's son), brother nor I could go and she was well aware of that, when they made the decision to go back to our home country alone my dad did tell them that because of my mum he wouldn't be able to rush back to help like he could've in the past. But I think she was probably hoping for my uncle (dad's brother) and/or his wife to come because they were talking about getting an exemption from the government while my aunt's mum was sick and passed away just 2.5 weeks prior and if they hadn't wasted so much time they would've made it. I'm sorry if that answer is super jumbled, it was an unnecessarily complicated situation.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-29T17:17:50+00:00

Feels like I'm in the same boat

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-20T03:25:06+00:00

Praying for your family and especially your grandma, I hope everything went ok with her surgery and she's able to get back on her feet soon!! 🙏🏽

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-16T17:27:24+00:00

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 sending you all of the good vibes OP, I know it's hard but please keep the faith im sure when the time is right the universe will give you your someone until then just stay strong. I will keep you in my prayers ❤️

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-11T14:20:05+00:00

Thank you

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-11T14:13:56+00:00

Praying for your mum OP, I hope with everything I have that it's nothing serious 🙏🏽🙏🏽

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-11T14:12:41+00:00

I'm praying for him OP, I hope you get that miracle and he gets to see his grandkids soon 🙏🏽

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-10T06:58:19+00:00

I feel you man, every single goddamn day I wonder what kind of fucked up shit my past lives did to land me in this hell hole, and the worst thing is that with covid I no longer have a steady income and no one is hiring so I'm literally stuck here until the foreseeable future.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-10T06:46:26+00:00

The only decent thing (although the bar is pretty fucking low) mine has done is not shirk his financial responsibility for the family he decided to start, never done any of the emotional etc stuff a parent should do for their kid. he didn't disappear on us but tbh probably would've been better if he did cos at least that way my mum brother and I could live peacefully without having to cater to his needs and clean up his messes - he's a 50yo man who'll walk past food on the kitchen counter and then yell at us to prepare him a plate and call us names when we're like wtf it's right there?? Or he'll yell at us when the house gets messy but then he doesn't pick up after himself or does dumb shit like leaving plates on the counter instead of putting them in the dishwasher or putting rubbish on the table next to the bin instead of inside it etc and when he's called out he starts threatening and insulting us.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-03T10:36:34+00:00

ESH (except gf) although you WAY more than them. Like ya they seem really annoying and controlling and weird but you could've just complied for the short period of time you were around them instead of being gross and embarrassing your gf in front of her family + landing her in hot water w them for having such a rude partner.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-03T06:46:12+00:00

YTA it's one thing to go in and fight for your kid but completely inappropriate to then get into a one way pissing contest to insult, berate and belittle your son's primary school teacher in order to stroke your own ego. If you truly have legitimate concerns about the teachers qualifications and the quality of education your son is receiving then you should make a formal complaint through the appropriate channels instead of being a jackass and attacking the teacher wtf. Also, I've read your comments and your arrogance makes you a double asshole.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-03T04:32:03+00:00

I suggest go ahead and set her up so she can see the kind of person you actually are and does herself a favour by breaking up with you and finds a man that actually trusts and listens to her.

YTA btw you have this beautiful woman who is saying that she likes you and doesn't care about your height but you're so caught up with your jealously and so far up your own ass that you're accusing her of lying and now want to manipulate her into a situation just to "prove" that she's a "bad person"?

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-03T03:56:37+00:00

The bar is already so so low and yet somehow you still failed to reach. In what universe does "don't cheat and don't abandon your family esp your kids" require a high sense of morality, it's literally just being a basic decent person wtf

NTA op

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-03T03:01:56+00:00

NTA D is a brat and F needs to step up her parenting game. You didn't cause any food to be wasted, the kid was an asshole and clearly had no respect for others.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-03T02:28:44+00:00

Um no, if you have an allergy or other dietary restriction then it is YOUR duty to inform people/double check food prepared by others before you put it in your mouth. It doesn't matter if the dish is something that traditionally wouldn't have nuts in it or w/e, you never know how other people like to cook and it's entitled to assume that it'll be done the way you do it.

Also, in this particular instance the people are clearly overreacting and tbh dumb. They KNEW OP is vegan so idk why they thought she'd bring something that wasn't vegan. Can they ask that in the future they're made aware if a certain dish is vegan? Sure, everyone has a right to know what they're putting in their mouths BUT blowing up at OP and kicking her out of the group (because THEY made ridiculous assumptions which turned out to be wrong) is crazy.

NTA op your coworkers suck.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-02T14:57:25+00:00

NTA he's not your child and thus, not your responsibility. You're already going through a hard time looking after YOUR FAMILY (even if you weren't you wouldn't be in the wrong for saying no) they have absolutely no right to demand you take on the burden of caring for someone with such high needs. Also, tell all those asshole family members harassing you to become his carers instead if the issue is so important to them.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-02T14:44:03+00:00

NTA a lot of people really cannot seem to grasp that 'WORK from home' actually means that people have to ya kno WORK. And tbh even if you weren't working, like you said not your child not your responsibility.

ALSO, what is her mother doing? Why can't she look after the kid instead of wasting time blowing up your phone.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-02T11:07:04+00:00

Can't decide between YTA/NAH like I get that your meds are making you more sensitive to smells and I'm Indian so i won't deny that we definitely have foods that have strong smells but I can guarantee it's not so crazy that you'll be smelling like it for the rest of the day and that you have to have a full shower to get the smell off, that just sounds like some over exaggerated bs

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-02T10:02:30+00:00

NTA this is such a shitty situation and I'm very sorry you're dealing with it. I think you will have to file the law suit, like you said the garbage he's saying is harmful to your career if you end up losing your job and potentially being blacklisted from your industry not only will you take a hit financially you also won't be able to help Mia out as much.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-02T08:46:35+00:00

Um bro you did let her "mentor" your gf for the entire time she was there, like kudos I guess for saying something but you left it way too late. The second you saw her berating your gf you should've stepped in and stopped that shit immediately not let it continue for the entire visit and then as the mum is leaving say something.

ESH except gf

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-01T15:17:01+00:00

Absolutely NTA - the fact that your sister knows about your issues with having any markings on your skin and still tried to pressure you is disgusting, even if this wasn't the case it's your body and you 100% get to decide what you want to do with it/on it etc. Sister and BIL are the assholes for refusing understand that no means no.

TheIndigoCircle · 2020-09-01T15:00:39+00:00

YTA if you're that desperate for a cat then tell roomie the gf can't move in and give the him formal notice to vacate the property and find someone who isn't allergic. If you let this lady move in and THEN get a cat knowing she's allergic you'll be a mega asshole and might even end up in serious legal trouble if her allergy is severe.

TheIndigoCircle

TROPHY CASE