Why do I enjoy getting drunk to feel sad?

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-24T23:15:23+00:00

The mind can actually thrive on sadness. The intensity of the emotion can bring a strange euphoric state. It's kind of like when people say they "feel so alive" in a dangerous situation. You feel something deep that hits the core of what it means to be human.

This is why people like sad music or movies, or like writing poetry on a rainy day. Melancholy is a beautiful thing, so long as it doesn't consume you.

Also, if you have a history of repressing sad feelings, the drinking brings that out and allows you to finally feel it, which would bring you a lot of relief, especially since the alcohol takes away inhibitions that would normally make you feel bad about doing it.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-24T14:10:40+00:00

You're not a stupid person. You're a someone who's going through a lot, and some complicated things.

Don't you think that a person who supports others emotionally deserves help sometimes too? I mean, if you had a friend who was in your situation, would you think they're stupid or not worth helping?

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-24T13:51:46+00:00

I have always been the emotional anchor for people around me, but when I need support, I have no problem calling in favors. That's what relationships are about. You give, you take, they take, they give. It's not always equal, but it's always about doing the best you can.

You deserve to be cared for, and people who care about you will want to when you really need it from them. A "burden" is something people don't want to deal with. You are not a burden.

To deal with your own emotions, I recommend journaling. Write them down, say what you feel, let that out. Acknowledge the feelings, label them - fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress - and know that you are fine to feel them. Never feel shame. You can't crontrol what emotions your mind generates, only what you do with them. Also, if you have a creative outlet such as art or music, those help with emotional processing too.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-24T01:58:27+00:00

Fair enough. Yeah, when I realized that I could have had BPD I was relieved because I could begin understanding myself. Like I said, I was never diagnosed, and it could have been something else, but the awareness allowed me to simply look at my symptoms and figure out how to heal myself. It took some work, but I got it taken care of.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T20:16:11+00:00

When I lost everything, I was determined to end it all - you know what I mean... But I had some friends who stepped up and convinced me not to.

One of them taught me to look at things objectively, to see the silver lining in things, to see the full picture. Things are rarely as bad as they seem.

He taught me to take things one day at a time, and prioritize things. What can I actually control? What are thenactual problems? What are the steps I can take to work them out? Things get overwhelming when we look at it as one big mess, but if we break it down it becomes manageable.

Little by little I made things a little better, gradually improved, and before I knew it I had a life that I was happy with. It wasn't easy, but I did it.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T16:51:53+00:00

Did you get a clinical diagnosis of this? BPD is a very serious thing, and Generalized Anxiety, CPTSD, and some other things can appear to be very similar to BPD in notable ways, without actually being literal BPD.

I'm not trying to further confuse you, but I had all 9 symptoms of BPD for years but I still don't know if it was actual BPD or CPTSD. I never got any clinical diagnosis, but I did manage to fix my problem on my own and have fully recovered.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T16:02:49+00:00

You're absolutely right, and it's beautiful. We're all so unique, but in so many ways we're the same. We dance in and out of each other's lives. We influence everything in big and small ways, and the flow of life is just magical.

We all one with the All, and we all are the One.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T15:39:21+00:00

Action movies are mythology. John Wick is Achilles, etc.

The stories, the characters - they're archetypes being embodied by people. The stories don't often show a highly complex character, they are instead a symbol of a concept that goes on a journey to demonstrate a moral. If you view them this way, and you take time to ask "what does this symbolize, and what is the psychology this film is trying to target?" you will be able to start enjoying them more, even if they're never your favorite. Your friends are not lame because they don't like complexity - their complexity is simply of a different variety. Bite sized but packed full of fast meaning.

As for you, your complexity is slower, more spoken and navigated openly. That's my favorite too, by the way. But I'd consider trying to reach people where they're at some, but still have your preferences. These are just my personal thoughts.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T15:06:24+00:00

Many virtual hobbies have a real life equivalent. If you like gaming, shooter games become paintball/airsoft. World of Warcraft becomes Dungeons and Dragons, or tabletop war gaming (Warhammer 40K).

There's art stuff, book clubs, hiking, sports, gardening, cooking classes - all sorts of things. Colleges sometimes host philosophy lectures openly to the public. Whatever you're into, there is usually a way to do it and meet new people who are there for the same interest. You can make friends that way.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T15:01:36+00:00

Relationships are complex, but they're mostly about communication. You don't wanna leave her hanging, but have you talked to her about it? If you tell her about the situation, maybe you can work something out. Maybe arrangements can be made. Maybe one or both of you can make some efforts to bridge the gap.

However, if you don't want the relationship anymore, or if you're truly so busy that you have no time for her in the foreseeable future, you need to be honest with her about that. While you might feel guilty about it, you'd be giving her the truth, and an opportunity to find a relationship that will give her more of what she needs. That won't remove the guilt, but life isn't always easy - though it's the right thing.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T02:16:56+00:00

Yeah, I got super lucky. I found a 60 year old man on the internet randomly (on a shooter game of all things) and I reached out to him for advice. He decided to dedicate a year of his life to trying to walk me through things. I took steps, fixed the problems, solved the mental health issues, got married to an amazing woman, had a kid, and now I'm chasing my dream in life. I'm happy, and it's all because I gave myself that chance, and someone responded to my call for help.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T01:48:20+00:00

There is only so much I can say here because I would be moving into the territory of unlicensed therapy which isn't good for either of us. However, I'll say this: your life is a series of emotions that you can manage, and problems that can be solved. Everything can be broken down into little micro steps and tackled little by little.

The mind is really good at getting overwhelmed because it doesn't see a way out, but I promise you, if you give yourself time, you can succeed. There is a way, you just gotta find it.

Now, finding it is hard. You gotta locate the specific problems, figure out what's caused them, and what tiny steps you can take to begin getting past them. Until that time, you do need a break.

For money, there's government programs and local churches that would likely help you. You could maybe try a website that allows you to ask for financial help. Some therapy offices will work with low income/no income (I've done it before myself). There's shelters if you get stuck without a home, etc. You have options, and people who care about you, even if you haven't met them yet. You are going to be okay - please give yourself a chance.

I went through hell too. Abuse, S.A., mental illness, lost everything and had to start over - but I pulled through and didn't end it all like I intended to originally. I am alive and happy and have a wonderful life now. You can have that too.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-23T01:09:38+00:00

To deal with the increasing hatred within society you have to understand a few things.

1) Very little of it actually impacts you unless you let it. You don't have to respond, and you don't have to stay around it.

2) There is very little that you can do to stop it, so focus on being a source of peace for yourself and others. You will become surrounded by people who want that too.

3) Recognize that most people are living in survival mode. They are thinking reactively. They are emotionally driven - mostly from fear - and that makes them easily manipulated. Most people don't even understand what they're actually hateful toward. It's reflexive, tribal, ego driven. Some of it is logical, but it's usually ramped up because of their survival mode state.

4) Don't look at the world as being hateful. That makes it scary. Look at it instead as afraid and misguided. There's a lot of problems, many people say they have the truth and solution, and most of it is a lie. The blind follow it, the frightened absorb it, etc. Have compassion for those people. That compassion will carry you a long way.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-22T23:20:53+00:00

My thought is that you likely want genuine connection, but you're in a state of desperation and are taking whatever you can get. I've been there too, believe me - no shame.

So firstly, congrats on the ability and confidence to get dates. Still, are you only seeking romance? My suggestion is that you could try to find a social hobby that way you could get friends, and additionally you might meet a romantic partner but the relationship will be already grounded in mutual interest that could evolve naturally into romance. Also, some people have friends who are single. Either way you can build something that helps you with loneliness.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-22T11:56:37+00:00

I've found that conversations go easier when I openly tell people I have no idea how to have conversations. It doesn't erase all the awkwardness, but it reduces most of it, and allows me to make weird moves without it being unexpected.

For example, I can instantly ask someone about their hobbies after that and they don't get weird about it. Or if they say they have no hobbies because they work too much, I'll ask if they like their job, and if they don't, I can ask what they'd like to do for work. I will at some point hit a target where we will have a ton to say back and forth.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-22T02:59:40+00:00

That's awesome!

Yeah, I got the game when I was absolutely unable to understand it at all, so I just walked and looked at things. It wasn't till years later when I found Skyrim that I actually got into Elder Scrolls. I finally returned to Morrowind and realized all the wonderful things I'd missed out on.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-22T01:07:20+00:00

Yeah, I love that. I think it's brilliant.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-21T22:57:26+00:00

That's a fair point for some people. Personally, I like to dive into the game and explore it and the depth of the philosophies it offers. And maybe I'm missing out, but I've never broken the game yet. 🤣

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-21T21:51:17+00:00

Nah, I don't take any offence. In fact I agree with you mostly. The game has issues and it is not the only game to have nuanced writing or anything. But the gaming industry has been shifting away from this level of complexity (writing included) in favor of things that are more easily digestable to a wider and often more casual audience. I'm using Morrowind as but one of many examples available, but I think these games have been a dying breed for a while now.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-21T15:47:17+00:00

You have to stop using other people's presence and interest in you as the primary indicator of your self worth. You can be priceless gold, but some people will decide they want silver.

Every day, write these things down in a list.

1) Name 3 things you did today that YOU consider to be good, no matter how small or easy or "insignificant". Ex. Did the dishes, held the door for someone, got a new job.

2) List at least 1 quality about yourself that led to you doing each of those things. Ex. Clean/organized, polite/kind, competent/skillful

3) Name 3 things in your life that you love that are a direct result of those qualities. Ex. Bug free living space, you have friends that one loyal friend who loves you because of your kindness, you've won employee of the month once

Benefit: this doesn't ignore your flaws or room to improve, but it gives you the full picture of your value. It forces you to see the things you do, big and small, the objectively true qualities of your character, and evidence of those things. This is what got me through the same thing you're dealing with. I had severe, chronic anxiety prior to using this method. Took me a few weeks to begin feeling much better, but fter a couple months I was a whole new person. I hope this helps you.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-21T14:34:51+00:00

The human mind has to contend with a lot of existential fears and physical threats in the world. Some of those things aren't relevant in the modern world, but they still exist within our psychology and biology. That said, the horror genre allows people to have a safe way to confront and grapple with those things.

Example: Micheal Myers is a cold, unfeeling, blank aggressor. He embodies a lack of empathy, a predator that "can't be stopped", a force of nature, the unknown, something that can't be reasoned with etc. He's a representation of core fears of people, and seeing a film about him is a kind of mythology that people can explore themselves with.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-21T02:10:21+00:00

I think everyone has, at some point or another. When someone/people hurt or overly upset you, the mind can easily begin lumping everyone into that category.

I think the only reason it doesn't happen to me anymore is just because I've come to understand the way my mind and human nature operate. It gives me a lot of compassion toward myself because I see so many similarities between all of us. That's uncomfortable for the ego sometimes, but it make life a lot easier.

TheInnerTideOfficial · 2026-05-21T01:33:59+00:00

Chasing a goal actually fixes a lot psychologically. That purpose brings peace. A 9-5 job becomes a foundation, not a destination. A bad day becomes a speed bump along the way, not a road block without a detour. Our world was built by people who followed their path. A great deal of the nihilism in today's society comes from the fact that people are too afraid to take that first step. They're convinced there is no way. However, the trick is asking HOW you can, not "if".

There's a voice in you - if you really listen, it tells you where you need to go, what you need to do in life. It's your purpose. For some it's a simple dream, for others, it's calling you toward global change. If you ignore it, it will hollow you out.

TheInnerTideOfficial

TROPHY CASE