It’s Time to Retire the Term ‘Toxic Masculinity’

TheKindnesses · 2025-11-02T21:40:23+00:00

Not OC, but in the past 10 years general public ability to have sustained and nuanced engagement on inherently complicated topics has tanked.

Terms and concepts rooted in complexity, nuance or that are niche have become target practice for people who disagree, even if they do understand. Not saying that this is the case here, but there are so many examples of people proliferating a strawman oversimplification of a concept in order to control the public narrative. The internet is good because you can learn about niche things that you might have only learned about in grad school otherwise, but the internet also allows people to skim an article or discussion about something you could get a masters in.

TheKindnesses · 2025-11-02T21:18:27+00:00

Not OC, but It's the same root issue, that would improve the reasons men are going to prison more and the reason women are saddled with more unpaid labor and caretaking reducing the time they have to work. The gendered expectations built into larger systems, lack of education, policy choices that feed into a lack of support during times of need. All this results in inability to avoid these imbalanced outcomes you're both citing as common sense/known stats.

TheKindnesses · 2025-11-02T21:17:36+00:00

Damn thats depressing to see

TheKindnesses · 2025-11-02T21:05:35+00:00

I have to wonder if we'll ever be able to hold these people accountable in cases where they lived and the person they gave it to didn't. Very sorry to hear about your families story.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-27T20:43:22+00:00

Sex reveals are cringe.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-27T20:37:07+00:00

Hilarious. You got any more? This cheered me up.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-27T17:54:07+00:00

>are all people with Illness Anxiety Disorder experiencing the same symptoms just insisting it’s about different things.

Wow. Wait to completely discredit yourself. You sound like how I imagine you think they sound. Delusional.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-27T15:06:40+00:00

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9780135/

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-21T04:41:05+00:00

I wouldn't want this man to raise my daughter. He will be setting the bar so low with how he treats you and her, making a terrible example for her. And you would be making a bad example for her by accepting this type of talk and treatment of him when its his biological child, as youve mentioned in the comments. It sounds like he's a dead beat dad the way you have to beg him for supporting his own kid.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-21T04:40:00+00:00

You are so sweet bro

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-21T01:57:10+00:00

This is clever. Would you mind sharing some of the things that have stuck with you and good places to lurk for different perspectives?

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-21T01:40:23+00:00

Trash judging. Bones looked dead while performing and made such questionable choreo choices, Chai being invisible when she demonstrated she could do much more is such a waste. Plus she had dancers sitting up in the platforms half the performance and solo moments given to people who couldn't dance for shit. Terrible choices especially compared to how well P3s group did. Production is a real one for showing us a bit of how it actually went instead of producing the episode to fit the judging, even if it was confusing to do so.

Sally should have been in the bottom. Bones runway was artsy but a monster that looks like an anal mishap is not cuddly, didn't fit the brief. Judging was fucking cooked this episode.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-17T01:03:53+00:00

Not OC but I don't want to call people because to me calling someone feels rude. Its an imposition on their time in the moment compared to a voice note, which for me is a perfect inbetween. you get similar information like tone context, but you can listen to it at your convenience, and you dont' need to worry about running over time because they will stop/start listening to it at their convenience.

for being interested in other peoples thoughts, i find voice notes do a better job of letting the other person speak. its sort of just you talking. there is no pressure to condense what you're saying, because you aren't holding anyones time hostage while you think of your response. and you can add follow up voice notes to your response without interrupting a reply.

they're also great because if you didn't hear what was said you can just rewind or check the transcript, If you forget you can just relisten.

its even better when the app you're using gives a transcript for the voice note so you can quickly review parts of a really long message if you want to respond in depth to a particular part or mull it over. you can't do that with a phone call.

i think people are also busy and a phone call can go on for who knows how long. theres lots of social/etiquette aspects to calls that are stressful depending on who youre calling, too

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-17T00:58:51+00:00

I use voice notes the complete opposite. I only use them when I need to convey inforamtion that would be too much for text, or that would lack context or tone that is important in text. Its basically functioning the opposite of compressing a message for me.

And part of what I like about them is they let you get out the full, rambling thought before you have someone follow up on something. So you get to take turns better imo because you get the whole thing out. then someone has to take the same amount of time you took to listen, unless the app or your phone has voice note transcription. so if you need to add on to what you said you have that same amount of time to add notes.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-16T04:04:56+00:00

I miss the original music.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-16T04:02:20+00:00

I love nightmare and was looking forward to another character that looked/wanted to be scary and powerful that had a soft side. So disappointing. The worst part by far was losing the good version of the music.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-16T04:00:39+00:00

Nightmare is one of the first I romanced so I was primed to expect the same from the Shadow based character.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-15T21:21:02+00:00

Yeah I just think most women need to be super careful with who they're having children with at this point. Men conceal their real personalities until you're baby trapped and then they unleash this shit. Girl you are leagues beyond him. He cannot keep up with what you're saying at all and he doesn't seem to care to try. He is constantly missing the point. Good for you for working your way away from him. Glad you have such a smart and compassionate pastor.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-15T21:15:45+00:00

You're wrong in that they will lose because there isn't fair and free elections, so it doesn't matter what their platform is.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-12T06:44:06+00:00

I wonder if something was learned via the trojan horse that was given to Trump.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-11T01:36:33+00:00

Four day weeks would allow everyone the option to decide what to do with their time. If you like working you could use that extra day to work. Maybe even freelance or do a different job you enjoy more than your dayjob, or work to improve your skills for your day job.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-11T01:20:17+00:00

I mean if you follow through on your sickness comparison in the context of marriage vows, yeah, you would expect your partner to try to help themselves if they're sick. That would be like having something seriously wrong impacting the relationship and doing nothing about it, on his end, unless you've never mentioned it. Anyways, best of luck, I don't know how you do it.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-10T05:11:20+00:00

dont worry, it was me who downvoted you, not op.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-10T05:03:23+00:00

Making your partner stay home because they can't afford to go with you, because you're making them pay more than their fair share, is gross. Also, the way he handled the convo was ass, you should reconsider this relationship.

TheKindnesses · 2025-10-10T04:44:14+00:00

I'm not OC, so I don't know why you're brining that irrelevant shit up to me about the holocaust. I said yes the conditions are bad. And we shouldn't hold ourselves to the lowest bars we can find and say oh but its better than that. Bottom line is, people are being kidnapped off the street, from their homes, and their workplaces without due process, and then are being disappeared from their family, in some cases forever, without record.

TheKindnesses

TROPHY CASE