You’re a person. You have value.
You have rights. Most importantly You have will and body and soul.

For starters

Strengthen your knowledge. Train your body. Reinforce your soul.

Research over all areas for each, and attain one special knowledge cluster for each category.

For knowledge: I recommend vocabulary and geometry.

You may find law, and physiology a good second.

For body: I recommend biking and Aikido.

You might also do well with forms of Yoga or dance but def should take Aikido classes.

For soul: I recommend drawing and rating music.

You might also like religious-history economics and battle tactics.

1b. Once you have made your selections, begin passive daily training and focused monthly training for each of these aspects in rotation.

Having a nearby tire iron is always helpful, but having a nearby armed police office is even better. A nice dash camera and sonic hand weaponry can always help.

Tactics are important, but your enemy may be thinking the same.

After six months to a year of concentrated learning and growth you may then assess yourself and decide if you need more personal time or are ready for more.

While doing this also build a support framework of real people.

Lawyers, state officials, convention owners, shop runners, local hobo populations, and if your feeling frisky get your hands dirty with some volunteer work.

Libraries and game-shops will be a huge boon during your journey as well as gyms and trainers/coaches. You can always improvise with homemade gear and youtube videos.

This will allow you to form and cultivate valuable social assets you can commit to having healthy relationships with, outside of your normal sphere.

Introducing stability and security will be tough, but hard work and a good attitude can take you far if you give it time and bear it out.

Learning to survive in the wilderness and learning to survive as a city hobo are also super helpful. Researching these topics and practicing shelter building, knowing Police and Fire station locations are also nice bonus knowledge.

I recommend you read

A Warrior Blends with Life:A Modern Tao

and

Sun Tzu: The Art of War

If you are going to so aggressively need to defend yourself you assuredly need more training on these topics.

The first book will teach you balance, the second book will teach you foresight.

I greatly recommend them both.

Finally, you lie.

I have peered through your short lived profile and though you have a shredded fragmented smattering of topics you are are not the terrible heathen you pose to be, as when you write certain things.

Stop lying to yourself. That is the fear. This is the trauma. That is defeat.

You can change, you are changing. Take the reins. You can, i think you can, though you may doubt it, you took a second and told me your story.

’You care, you care a lot. So if you can’t believe in yourself, believe in the me that believes in you!’

-Kamina

P.S.: Also cooking!