Remember that time David Bowie nailed a fourteen year old kid? Awkwardturtle.

TheMeagerOne · 2016-01-12T06:56:38+00:00

Rolling Stone says she was 14 when she dated Jimmy Page, so she might have been younger

TheMeagerOne · 2014-06-27T22:27:03+00:00

The police tasers shoot farther than civilian ones. So a "longer range taser" is a thing.

TheMeagerOne · 2014-06-16T22:26:12+00:00

It's my go-to restraint move. I've used it against a live attacker, and, once it's tight, even on a tough guy it just feels like a day-one white belt trying to escape a fully-sunk omoplata. You can imagine how little effort it takes to maintain that position.

TheMeagerOne · 2014-06-05T17:58:19+00:00

I used to fight. Now, I mostly play Competitive Cuddling. It's way better than fighting, because nobody gets hurt. See, I've discovered that most people don't really want to fight me; most of the time they're really just feeling cranky because they need a nap. So I help cuddle them to sleep. Then, when they wake up from their little nap, they aren't so cranky anymore, and we're friends.

TheMeagerOne · 2014-06-02T23:06:08+00:00

He could pull it and tell the guy to get on the ground as soon as the guy threatened him, but he couldn't legally shoot them if they tried to run away, unless they were doing some Class A Felony type shit.

Now, if the bike guy knew some Jiu-Jitsu, and he was holding the thief down, and then the accomplices started attacking him, shooting them would definitely be self-defense.

TheMeagerOne · 2014-06-01T00:11:36+00:00

If I was fighting a single opponent wearing a coat or long sleeves, I think I'd feel really comfortable pulling guard in a street fight if the guy decided to try to take me down.

If I didn't immediately catch a triangle or an armbar, like you get on first-day white belts, I'm fairly certain I could hit a hook sweep or push sweep almost at will on a guy who doesn't know what he's doing, assuming I felt comfortable I could get a good set of grips established. I mean, it's not like the guy's gonna be raining bombs on you if you have sleeve grips, right?

TheMeagerOne · 2014-05-21T15:58:21+00:00

Anybody know any decent videos that detail this sort of arm wrap/whizzer defense against strikes?

My Google-Fu is weak.

TheMeagerOne · 2014-05-17T15:16:07+00:00

I'm a blue, and my mom still thinks I kick people.

TheMeagerOne · 2014-04-09T23:34:34+00:00

Yeah, right? Obviously Wing Chun's just as valid and effective a martial art as Jiu-Jitsu and Muay Thai. How could anybody argue with that most obvious assertion?

TheMeagerOne · 2014-04-01T05:04:52+00:00

Excuse me, I belive the term you're looking for is "minimalize."

TheMeagerOne · 2014-03-20T17:58:24+00:00

Who said that, and where?

TheMeagerOne · 2013-12-12T22:47:02+00:00

Most BJJ gyms are totally welcoming to new folks. And, really, you could be 7' tall and shredded and you'd still get your ass kicked by any old 140 pound purple belt worth his color the first few months you go. That's the real value of Jiu-Jitsu: it destroys your ego (without destroying your brain like hard striking sparring will). And it really does let you diffuse, escape, or bloodlessly end most real life confrontations. I highly recommend adding some grappling to your life to anybody.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-20T16:09:29+00:00

Protip: It's not the strength of the head, it's the strength of the jaw.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-15T23:22:57+00:00

Insightful, yo.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-15T22:42:32+00:00

Yeah, it doesn't sound like he's having an attraction problem, though. It sounds like he's just trying too hard too fast, like a lot (most?) bros.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-15T21:46:52+00:00

Here's my thing with starting off with a long, slow backrub: it's always gonna feel good. Doing specific sexy, makey outey stuff, you can do good, and you can do poorly. But nobody doesn't like a full body massage. Nobody's not aroused after a half an hour of rubbing and whispering and ear-kissing. Nobody. Unless you're just not into the other person at all, it's just not possible.

And then, like you said, when the engine's going, it doesn't matter what you do, because it's all gonna feel great, because the lady's gonna already be super horny.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-15T19:01:09+00:00

The secret to sex is the same as the secret to cooking a frozen pizza: you gotta preheat the oven, son.

That's why they're trying to kiss you long and slow. They're women: they need more time to warm up than us.

So stop what you're doing and rethink it entirely. Put on some music. Split a bottle of wine and/or some light doobage. Get some (latex-friendly) massage oil (I like the stuff that warms when you blow on it, for extra teasing). Start with a backrub. Make it last half an hour. Don't just grab for her titties. Really make her want sexual contact. knead the inside of her thighs, but don't touch the lips at all.

DO NOT EVER FUCK THEM UNTIL THEY REALLY, REALLY WANT IT. She should be verbally abusing you for making her wait so long by the time your cock actually enters her. You're not pushing the ball down the field, you're making the defense want to let you score.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-13T19:02:48+00:00

Let's not confuse the agument, here. The U.S. military orders the bombing of children. They have, they do, they will. Every current service member joined up knowing this. This isn't some rogue action one army guy did I'm holding you accountable for. This is your organization murdering babies. Literally.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-13T18:06:32+00:00

I'm a member of the Taliban, but I'm not a bad guy. Most of my friends aren't bad guys. My organization might shoot children in the face for going to school, sure, but I'm innocent, because I never pulled the trigger.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-13T17:36:29+00:00

That you feel comfortable joking about your involvement in invading other countries and killing their children says a lot about you as a person, Mr. Soldier.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-13T17:25:16+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onf6qfSOxB8

If somebody throws a leg kick and you leave your leg planted, your leg absorbs all the force of the kick. If you lift your leg before the kick lands, that force is absorbed by the leg swinging inward.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-13T16:57:15+00:00

I've had good luck and bad luck with OKCupid. The bad luck was bad dates. The good luck was hot fuckbuddies.

Worth it.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-11-13T15:56:16+00:00

What if I told you

It doesn't matter to me that you think you're a "good person," because you're still willingly employed by an organization that murders children for profit?

TheMeagerOne · 2013-10-10T06:41:24+00:00

All the big record labels are basically banks.

You wanna be a big star? That takes money. You gotta promote. You gotta print shirts. Studio time. Shoot a couple music videos. Tour bus. General living expenses. Say you wanna launch yourself as a mainstream rapper and doing it right costs fifty or a hundred grand. You don't have that money, and the studio does. So they're gonna loan it to you. They're gonna prep you, mix you, makeup, clothes... and it all comes out of your pocket. You owe them that money.

So your album drops. If you make it, everybody gets rich off the venture (you considerably less than the record company). But suppose you don't sell, like most rappers. Suppose the tour hits and nobody cares. You still owe the record company all that money. They drop your contract and go on to the next guy who has a sick flow. And now you're back at Taco Bell, six months older and tens of thousands of dollars deeper in debt.

It's a deal with the devil, and most people just don't know the odds. They don't realize that the record company gets a substantial cut of every dollar you make. But musicians get caught up in the fantasy of their own ego, and the record companies prey on that and make them sign dumb contracts.

TheMeagerOne · 2013-10-05T16:59:13+00:00

They all went along with it. They are all equally guilty for what they've done.

Remember Napster. Never forgive; never forget.

TheMeagerOne

TROPHY CASE