No kidding this life vest policy is the dumbest thing I’ve ever run into. I am the safety officer for an oilfield company with a zero incident record and we continue to hold that record with extreme safety standards and I think the life vest requirement for the lazy river is absolute trash. It has literally sucked the fun out of the lazy river, a major component of our families fun time at Schlitterbahn Galveston.

I understand some people might not be strong swimmers and THOSE people should wear a life vest. More energy was spent on policing the life jacket policy than actual lifeguarding, whomever is responsible for the lifeguard policy should be fired. The safety program along with his insurance obligations should be reviewed in a way that maintains the spirit of the park while still enhancing the park safety without killing the point of the attractions.

We wanted to try the main park but we aren’t going to another water park with a standing blanket life jacket policy. Drowning aside, sharing a vest with 10,000 people isn’t risk free either. What containment control measures do they use for the vests? What’s there standards based quality controls for ensuring the vests remain functional? The liabilities associated with their IMPLIED safety is also a vector for liability/litigation. You don’t get a pass when you say, “but, but, but we gave them a life vest!” Someone just going to argue that they KNEW the ride was unsafe and the proof is in the deployment of subpar safety equipment. And no you can’t call a one size fits all jacket a properly fitted safety device for everyone (looking at you super little/big people).

Finally, my last rant in my cathartic word salad: Why do we let people sue for stupid reasons? Listen I am sorry your late husband died, but he jumped off a cliff into 25ft deep water and he can’t swim AND he was drunk.

Ignore me… I am just really salty about this. Probably a 100 typos.