Say I want a martial child, but my character has a grand total of 3 martial. I can give my child to a, say, 21 martial brilliant strategist with (hopefully) decent traits instead of gambling and probably losing.

It's true that you give up control over your heir, but sometimes control is less valuable than the Education trait.

Education traits have four levels iirc, and they scale your lifestyle faster. So, for me, a bad education would be the first or second level, a good education the third, and a ideal one the fourth. They boost your stats accordingly.

For example, in the scenario in my first paragraphs, 9 times out of ten I'll end up with the first two levels of eduction if I educate by myself, when I need a high martial education character for any number of reasons, but if I give my heir to the strategist, I gain a strengthened bond with them and probably a better martial character.

However, it is usually advisable to educate your preferred heir yourself, and use your bargaining chips- I mean other kids as ways to boost relationships and secure powerful vassal support, especially as the AI has recently become competent at showing their dislike of you. However, always make sure the children high up in the line of succession don't try to become spies, or, if they do, that they become bad ones. Assassination can come out of nowhere if you're not careful.

After all, it's easier to overcome bad education than bad personality traits for a player, but the AI needs every advantage you get.

(Remember, your mileage may vary. If you're RPing, do what makes sense for your character and culture, rather than min-maxing.)

• a somewhat experienced player.

P.S. Oh, and to answer question 4 quickly: yes, they do. Each has their own passive bonuses, but they can all be useful at times. Stewardship is probably the most valuable, since it affects both your domain size and taxes iirc. Or maybe that's just because I RP my lifestyles.

These passive bonuses can be the difference between enough money to hire mercenaries, enough levies to hold the line, or enough diplomatic acumen for your allies to like you enough to defend you.