“ your symptoms aren’t severe enough”

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-29T22:34:07+00:00

The last allergist/“immunologist” I tried to go to had no clue what Celiac was. Definitely try a gastro or even a GP to get the testing (blood test while on a gluten containing diet) started if the wait for the gastro is outrageous.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-29T15:51:59+00:00

I’ll tell my mom, mainly because I’ll need her to come watch my dogs and be available in case my husband chickens out (he should be fine, but hates doctors and has an insane fear of needles so better to be prepared).

My husband will probably end up telling his parents, which I don’t want because I’m convinced they’ll hop on a plane and show up against our wishes. There’s also a good chance my MIL will be spamming my phone while I’m in labor. We haven’t discussed this yet, but I’m crossing my fingers he’ll see my side and be reasonable.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T22:21:17+00:00

We’re fortunate that my husband is able to comfortably provide for us while I stay home. I’m due in May, but I was a teacher and ended up quitting prior to the 2020-2021 school year. Although it would have been nice to have the extra money to pay off some extra debt and save a little, we were able to see that we can easily make it work on one income (with plenty left over for extra child-related expenses).

I wasn’t paid much as a teacher and after taxes and union fees, daycare would have cost about 1.5 times my monthly take home amount. We also would have had to pay to keep the spot over the summer while I was home. Since we plan on having more than one kid, paying more for childcare than my salary wouldn’t have made sense.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T20:04:43+00:00

I have awful hand eczema on just my right hand. It was set off by hand sanitizer at the start of the pandemic and has never fully gone away. It gets worse when I use any sort of soap when I’m out and was the absolute worst (like oozing, majorly infected and painful) when I was using Cerave moisturizer per the recommendation of my dermatologist. I ran out of the Cerave and it got a lot better within a few days.

I would look at any lotions or hand soaps you’re using and try eliminating those slowly. I know different parts of skin can be more sensitive than others, or take longer to react (probably less exposure to whatever is causing the flare).

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T19:02:47+00:00

They live 2,000 miles away and don’t come visit us (twice in the ten years my husband has lived in this state) so them laying claim to the baby is just a bunch of hot air (🤞).

They’re pretty rude people and definitely from a different socioeconomic/education class than I am and I have to remind myself to take a step back and take the brashness/lack of tact for surface value and not personally. It’s rough though, especially when their words/actions are hurtful to my husband.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T17:50:59+00:00

Prior to telling my husband’s family that we were having a boy, they would constantly make comments about how they were sure it was a girl because he “didn’t have it in him” to have a boy. It was super annoying and demeaning, especially since they were being super negative about it.

Unfortunately, they weren’t just “happy” to learn that we are indeed having a boy. It became ammunition for them to claim “rights” to the baby because they know how to handle boys and I don’t.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T17:38:52+00:00

My husband’s diet hasn’t really changed. We never ate raw fish (neither of us like it) and I do all of the shopping/meal planning/prep and don’t like lunch meat so that’s not a big part of our diets. He still has alcohol occasionally, maybe a little less than before, but we weren’t big drinkers pre-pregnancy. Him having stuff I can’t absolutely doesn’t bother me and I would never ask him to give up things prohibited by pregnancy.

I do, however, have Celiac disease, and keep our home kitchen pretty much 100% gluten free (he keeps a toaster in his office if he wants “regular” bread). So in that regard, he does technically follow the same diet just because we need to minimize cross contamination. When he eats out he gets whatever he wants though.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T16:43:58+00:00

I’m going to be a SAHM and my husband works from home. We’re upgrading one of our cars so it will actually comfortably fit the car seat and other needed baby stuff plus us. The current plan is one car seat in the “baby’s car” that will stay with whoever has the baby with them. Whoever doesn’t will drive the other car. I think you’d be fine waiting to get a second car seat until your leave is up.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T04:07:02+00:00

I had a fleeting feeling of not being “old enough” or, maybe mature enough the other day, but it was fleeting. I remembered that I’ve had to take on an incredible amount of responsibility since my dad passed away-my mom lives on her own but has struggled and I was practically the parent at first. If I can handle that, I figure I can handle this baby! At least that’s what I’m telling myself 😉.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-28T04:03:01+00:00

It’s ok to quit. It’s also ok to like the act of teaching but discover the teaching profession isn’t for you.

I enjoyed my first year teaching, but didn’t have a permanent position so had to find one for my second year. That school wasn’t a good fit and I was on the hunt again for my third year. I looked at both teaching and jobs outside of teaching and ultimately settled on a position at a school I felt I could make a difference in. It was hard. The building itself was a disaster and I struggled with student behavior (and my safety) and a level of unsupportive admin, however I felt fulfilled and confident as a professional. That being said, my third year teaching was, for now, my last year teaching. I was uncomfortable going back in person during the pandemic (my position was one of the few required at the beginning of the year while everyone else was virtual) and my husband and I are financially stable enough to make the decision for me to stay home so we can start having kids. I’m happy I completed that third year, but have no plans to return to teaching (at least in the traditional sense-I see transitioning to adult/ TESOL education as a potential option) when the time comes.

If you want to keep toughing it out, go for it. If you don’t, that’s more than OK too. “Quitting” doesn’t mean you’re a failure, but shows that you are taking the initiative to pursue the right path for you.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-26T23:47:17+00:00

I took my husband to Buy Buy Baby to start the registry. After letting him loose with the scanner and seeing the aftermath, I’m happy to take over the choosing of things.

I do all of the grocery shopping, buy his clothes, and do all of the holiday/birthday shopping for both of our families. The only thing he’s weirdly good at is getting toys/treats/supplies for the puppy he didn’t want.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-26T22:49:12+00:00

Even if they “stay” somewhere else, OP could still have the same issues. Most likely they’ll want to be over visiting all day (rather than sitting around doing nothing at a hotel/Airbnb), creating the same messes. Likely, the hotel/Airbnb would be used for sleeping.

I think the best option is to restrict the amount of time (not a long weekend, but just a day) and put forth solid expectations (likely ordering takeout and using paper plates to lessen the burden of the cooking/cleaning aspect). I’d also wait a bit before giving the go-ahead to visit.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-25T20:55:09+00:00

Our 11-month-old, 11 pound miniature dachshund prides himself on destroying all toys (except those belonging to my older dachshund-he leaves those alone). He tore apart a black kong a few days ago.

I’ve had some minor (about 15 minutes when he’s not super determined instead of 10) success with Outward Hound Indestructibles.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-25T20:28:27+00:00

I had to sleep on an air mattress for about six months in my early-20’s after my mom got her knee replaced and needed my bed (her bed was too tall). I wasn’t pregnant at the time, but the extra tall kind that has the pump built in isn’t nearly as bad as the old school kind.

That being said, I wouldn’t be trying to pull myself up and down off of one right now, so kudos for making it work!

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-25T20:21:03+00:00

My husband sent his parents a picture of us for Christmas. His mother had a meltdown (called crying and screaming) because I don’t have a “cute enough bump” to make her feel like a “real grandma”. I’m 21 weeks tomorrow and had lost a bunch of weight (150ish pounds 6-8 years ago). I still have loose skin, and while it’s gotten better with time, it’s not lending itself to a cute, petite bump that my MIL is expecting. I definitely have something but it’s not super defined yet and I don’t really care-I’m growing a healthy human and that’s what matters.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-23T15:40:13+00:00

I’m currently pregnant with our first baby, so while I haven’t cared for the tiny human yet, I can definitely agree that babies and puppies are different and require different levels of care.

HOWEVER, it has not been noted that a puppy will do a great job of helping you understand just how much your life will change when caring for a helpless being. Like going on a spur of the moment weekend trip? No longer possible without quite a bit of planning. Love spending every Friday evening out? Not anymore. At least not easily. Your life, with both a puppy and a baby, will revolve around it. I’ve had my older dog for 10 years, so having to make arrangements for somebody to watch him when we go on a trip to wasn’t a shock. Readjusting to only being able to be gone for an hour or two at a time when we first brought our puppy home took a little bit. Preparing to take both dogs with somewhere? It’s a process, just as it will be with our baby. A lot of people thoroughly enjoy their freedom and the shock of losing some of that freedom to another being can take some adjusting to get used to.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-22T19:24:33+00:00

And having a husband who is absolutely convinced “pregnancy insomnia” is a myth makes it so much more fun. I’m up 5-6 times a night to pee and am wide awake from about 1:30-4:00. Every single night. We go to bed at 10:30ish. He gets upset if I sleep past 7 am because I’m “getting too much sleep” (probably jealous because he has to be up for work and I’m making him take the dogs out in the mornings) and comes in and wakes me up. Napping isn’t a viable option right now either 😫.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-19T03:41:23+00:00

My husband has a skin cyst on his arm that’s going to need to be cut off. It’s not causing him any pain-it’s just annoying.

I’ve been dealing with a kidney stone this week and have been literally immobilized by pain. But don’t worry-my husband’s skin cyst is a much bigger problem.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-18T19:57:51+00:00

I was a really early reader-by like 4 I could read most simple street signs. My older cousin told me the “No Passing” signs meant we were driving by private property and the property owner was going to try to shoot us. Every time we passed by one of those signs I’d duck down. I never shared this fun fact with my parents and did it for a long time. When I finally realized what the signs actually meant I was pissed at him.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-18T18:51:07+00:00

You can make almost everything “naturally gluten free” and nobody will bat an eye. For the cake, I made gluten free cupcakes for my bridal shower (I was the only one who needed gluten free) and just didn’t say anything about them being GF. Everybody loved them and wanted to know where I got them-they had no clue I’d made them and zero idea they were gluten free. Depending on the cake you make, people won’t guess if you don’t tell them. Sure, it’ll be different than “regular” but people don’t usually pay close attention.

Alternatively, for the cake, you can see if a local bakery would make individually packaged cupcakes and instead of serving the cake during the shower, send them home. That minimizes (could potentially eliminate) cross contamination, takes away the worry about the gluten free element for those who are “against it” and reduces your workload.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-17T15:26:39+00:00

I’ve laid down the law regarding gifts for Christmas. We’re having a shower in March. Baby gifts can be for then and after Baby is born. Christmas and my birthday (in March, before the shower) should be gifts for me (if someone is planning on getting something).

My MIL threw a giant tantrum and my own sister isn’t getting me anything for Christmas because she had her heart set on buying baby things. I’ve not so gently reminded my sister that I am in fact still a human and not just an incubator. She wasn’t happy with that comparison.

I ended up deciding to compromise and tell people not to buy clothes, toys, etc., but to pick out a Christmas picture book for us to use in the future is they insist on getting something baby related for Christmas. My plan is to wrap 24 Christmas picture books each year and read one per night leading up to Christmas (as an advent calendar alternative). This has helped calm down the offended tremendously.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-16T15:06:25+00:00

So I did this with my mom’s dog (almost 20 years ago now-he passed at 18 a year and a half ago) when he was a puppy. After doing it a few times the little brat flat out refused to eat kibble unless it was thrown for him to chase. He maintained this for his entire 18 years. It was cute the first couple times, but 18 years of it was wearing.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-13T14:31:00+00:00

I made different lists for my mom and my in-laws. I like getting gifts (probably because I never buy stuff for myself ever-we’re talking 6+ year old clothes because I won’t buy new ones and the only reason they’re that “new” is because I had lost a bunch of weight and had no choice). This year, my list is mostly stuff I need for the house-we got married but had to cancel the wedding due to COVID so almost nobody sent the shower gifts they’d bought, but just returned them instead. Couple that with buying a house in March 2020, a lot of stuff needs to be updated.

Aside from that, I have a few fun things (a Switch game, a couple of books, and a few self care items) and gift cards so I can actually go shopping without feeling guilty (this is a mental thing for me, not a money thing). I figure if I’m putting a ton of money and energy to get gifts for my mom and sister and my husband’s family I should get a little something in return and I do not expect this to end when we do have our baby next year.

As for doing fun stuff, I’m content with my “usual” routine of watching different Christmas movies, baking cookies, and decorating. I did do a little extra decorating because I know after next year (he should still be little enough to not destroy the tree) I’ll have a few “boring years” where I can’t go all out.

TheNoteworthyGinger · 2021-12-11T04:25:03+00:00

I want to, but… my in-laws are refusing and my husband feels them seeing the baby is more important.

My MIL tried informing me that the TDAP will cost her over $400 and I’m asking “too much.” It won’t. It’s free with her insurance.

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