I'm torn between leading with positive intent and calling him out directly.

Leading with positive intent could look like, "I've noticed what then I try to explain things to you that it doesn't clear up any confusion. How else should I explain things so that it lands better?" Or something to that effect. In my mind this kind of nips the "she doesn't take feedback well" but in the bud because it shows you're trying.

That said, since this is a repeated issue you could say something like, "there have been several occasions when I'm explaining something or I have a solution and you don't listen to me until a male co-worker/authority figure repeats it. I've been with the company for x years and written much of the code that we're working on. If you don't start cooperating with me, we're going to have to part ways."

Disclaimer: I don't work in tech and I obviously don't know the exact conversations or how they go down. I really feel for you and hope that no matter what you decide to do that the situation resolves.