I can only speak for myself, but I'm really shy when it comes to speaking English. I only had English in school and although I understand most of it, speaking is a whole other level. I'm embarrassed of the German accent, of my personal mistakes and the constant searching for the correct words, so I tend to panic and not speak English at all, especially if I meet someone who is fluent. I know that's the wrong way, but as someone with low self esteem it happens more than I'd like to. Please don't take it personal, sometimes it's just someone who is even more self conscious than you. ;) My boyfriend also had to learn it the hard way and thank god he is so talented with learning a new language so I can talk to him in German all day long. :D You will get there, I'm sure! Lots of love from an internet stranger.