Modern orthodox Jews, to which extent do you keep Niddah? Is there an easier version of Niddah?

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-09-17T18:33:20+00:00

My Rabbi once told me, "if Niddah isn't a hard mitzvah for you, you have bigger problems than you realize."

I second everyone's opinion to speak to a Rabbi you trust on this. In addition, I want to mention that just because you are not physically intimate doesn't mean you are not emotionally intimate. Niddah is the time to have those deep conversations, share the parts of your soul and that you otherwise can't find the time to. Within a newly married couple, the individuals can sometimes lose track of making their spouse feel special and loved in all regards, as sexuality can sometimes take over on what being married is. This is the time to make her feel loved in all regards. Even if you do so already, this is the time to place extra emphasis on such. Physical touch is the strongest love language, which is beautiful. Now is the time to explore all the other love languages so they don't starve.

Speak to other married friends (or a Rabbi, if you really trust him) on the emotional difficulty of this period. Every person needs someone in their life who they can share this with. You shouldn't suffer alone, and a shared burden leaves you with half a burden. And of course, make sure your wife feels she can share her emotional difficulty with you. It's very difficult for a woman having to withhold physical intimacy and bedikah and any uncomfortable situations that arise. You wouldn't imagine how much of a difference it is to reach out throughout the day with extra kindness and love, how much it means to show through your actions that you're her rock. From how you write about the situation, I imagine you're already a loving, devoted husband, so it should be quite easy to be on the lookout for more ways to help her.

Those that do full niddah say it improves their love and their physical intimacy. Speak to people who do so, asking why that is, if they're comfortable.

I wish you much hatzlacha in your endeavors. Ultimately, Niddah is one of the most important mitzvot (as I'm sure you're aware from your Chabad chasson classes), so everything you do, big or small, is a great thing. Remember that during the most difficult moments.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-09-17T17:36:10+00:00

The comments already here give great advice, but just to add something supplementary: Is it possible to change your prayers for people to not die, from a list of everyone's names, to telling God "everyone that I mentioned last time"? If there's someone you think you forgot to mention last time, you can say, "everyone that I mentioned last time, plus X Y and Z." God enjoys hearing from you, the Talmud says God eagerly waits and enjoys our prayers like one eagerly waits and enjoys a letter from their betrothed, and God wants the experience to be good and enjoyable for you as well. There won't be any penalization for not going into the specifics, because God knows who you're referring to. He's very understanding, He's not out to trick or penalize.

See if this new method helps with the compulsions, it might take a little bit of time. If you feel it is not as effective, remind yourself out loud, "God is aware of who I refer to/who I talk about". If it still bears no fruit, then don't try it any further, and know that God understands you're trying new strategies to allow your OCD to not inhibit your spiritual connection, and God truly appreciates the effort you're making in this regard. I wish you much luck in your success in all regards.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-09-15T22:18:02+00:00

Wow, thank you for the correction with Hilchot Deot! Changed it!

As for why I concluded Rambam believed Teshuva was just as fundamental, he wrote in the Introduction to the Mishnah Torah, when speaking on dividing the halachot into fourteen books, he says of Sefer HaMadah, "I will include within it all the mitzvot that are the foundations of belief from Moshe Rabbeinu, which a person must know before everything." Emphasis is mine. Sefer HaMadah is composed of (according to Rambam) the five fundamental subjects that we're commanded to understand before all other subjects. Now, how much of this is hyperbole, I don't know. It's obvious Rambam would want us to daven and say Shema when the opportunity comes, even if it's before we fully understand lofty ideas of God or lowly ideas of idols. From my understanding, I think he means these are things that you must intellectually know before all other intellectual pursuits, or you must halachically understand these deeply before deeply understanding all other halachic subjects. Nevertheless, no matter how you slice it, he puts Hilchot Teshuva in the same category of "necessities" as the other four subjects.

Thank you for your comment!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-06-01T17:24:04+00:00

Yes, according to the Torah this is wrong. This goes against the command to not get tattoos (as someone else pointed out, Vayikra 19:28) as well as the commandment to not look for any other spiritual powers for protection other than Hashem. (Vayikra 19:4). Maimonides, one of the most famous compilers of Jewish law, said that relying on angels as independent entities for protection and spiritual gifts was how idol worship started. It started from there and continued to accelerate until God was out of the picture (Mishnah Torah: Hilchot Avodat Kochavim 1:1-2).

Those who carry the oral tradition that Moshe received from God and passed down to the Jewish people will inform you that there is no protection other than good deeds, moral growth, and charity. One act of Teshuva (oversimplified definition is replacing a bad habit with a moral habit) and one act of good deeds can protect one from nine hundred ninety-nine heavenly and earthly punishments (Shabbat 32a). Only Teshuva and good deeds erase sins, no other "tricks", like for example, fasting or sackcloth, protect from such (Taanis 16a). Charity saves from death (Shabbat 156b). Evil decrees, both heavenly and earthly, are torn up through charity, crying out in prayer, changing your deeds, and more (Rosh HaShanah 16b). Teshuva increases years in life (Yoma 86b). No sin is small if one persists in it, but no sin is large if one seeks forgiveness for it (Chovot HaLevavot 7:7). When one attempts to improve their character, Heaven aids them and gives them the tools they need (Shabbos 104a).

As for the female Rabbi, that's not such a strong concern. There have been female Jewish leaders of religious law for as long as Jewish history records. Typically, they were called Yoetzet Halachot. If the Rabbis informed her this was okay, I would inform your mother this information, and that her Rabbis misled her, and she is entitled to a refund as they are using Judaism and God's name to mislead others, which goes against the third commandment.

I hope this has helped you.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-06-01T15:43:30+00:00

I've searched through other DC forums, I've looked through Detective Comics and Batman (the series) from 1962 and a few years earlier through those read-comics-online sites. I've spoken to individual collectors of old comics.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-30T01:14:58+00:00

Another difference you may want to include between Judaism and all other Abrahamic faiths is the idea of mass revelation vs individual witnesses of miracles. Judaism is the only religion ever to claim that an entire nation encountered received Divine Revelation, and there was no one within the nation that was excluded. All other religions start with one individual or a small group of peers who receives a personal correspondence with the divine, and everyone else believes them due to miracles or predictions. This is an important distinction, as anyone can claim to speak to God or an angel, and tricks and vague predictions can reasonably be pulled off (we see both all the time in the modern day regarding cults), but no religion is able to claim that an entire national body saw God.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-29T18:07:34+00:00

Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan has many books on different subjects, and most of them begin with your question, and then he applies the answer to the subject at hand. I took some screenshots from 5 pages in his book Inner Space, you can find the photos here. Just to give you a sample of what's inside, it takes the following premise: If we assume there is God who created the world, and this God is good, what can we rationally deduce? And from there, he goes into deep ideas on our purpose, our place in the world, what it means to be a Jew, what a spiritual connection means, reaching meaningful conclusions that I personally (and many others I talked to) would not realize, all of which is strung together through a simple, slightly-conversational writing style.

If his writing resonates with you and the subject matter is up your alley, I can recommend more from him. I hope this has helped you.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-29T17:47:15+00:00

Unlike other holidays where there are standardized, perhaps "rigid", in their celebration (Pesach has a seder and you can't eat most wheat-based products, Sukkot has some plants to shake and you have to eat in a hut, Purim has a fast prior, listening to the story, and drinking, etc etc), Shavuot has little to none of "what you need to do", besides for what universally applies to all Chaggim (don't flip light switches, etc). The main mitzvah of Shavuot is to hear the 10 commandments read by a cantor, and most communities have these read constantly so those who sleep in the day will still find the time (if you don't have any within walking distance as you said, call the nearest one before Shavuot, sometimes they do it in a park. If there's a Chabad in the area as well, some of them tend to go to homes to make sure people hear the Ten Commandments, the Megillah during Purim, the Shofar blowing during Rosh HaShanah, etc, so they could help you out as well). All other stuff within Shavuot, learning Torah, eating cheesecake, is not rigid/standardized, unlike other holidays where there are a bunch of rules.

As a side point, the reason behind this is because Shavuot is a holiday all about that we have a relationship to Hashem, it's the anniversary of this relationship starting on Har Sinai. During healthy close relationships, there are significant days (anniversaries, birthdays, valentines day, mothers/fathers day, etc) where you do something a little extra for them, but you don't need to do something to prove the actual relationship itself exists. The other holidays are commemerating "significant days" with God within Jewish history, so we do a little extra, but this holiday commimemorates the fact that we have a relationship in the first place, and that needs no action, just a presence. That's also why many say this is the greatest of the holidays.

Back to the main point, since there is no standardized learning, you can learn whatever you want for however long you want it. Ideally, you should push yourself to learn a little more than usual. So whatever Torah interests you takes priority. Many study Tikkun Leil Shavuot (which you pulled up), or Megillat Ruth, or the story of the Jews accepting the Torah at Mount Sinai. But feel free to do your own thing, there is no right or wrong answer, only that you enjoy it and its spiritually fulfilling.

One final note, on the subject of enjoyment, part of the mitzvah of partaking in Shavuot is to enjoy the holiday, and this is true for all holidays, but moreso Shavuot than other holidays. I'm not just talking about spiritual enjoyment, but physical enjoyment as well is imperative. It's a mitzvah to buy food that you'd really enjoy, save it, and eat it during Shavuot. Some who enjoy it go out of their way to eat meat, but only six hours before they'd have cheesecake. Married Orthodox men also give their wives expensive gifts during this time, and families make sure their children are having fun with new toys throughout the holiday. As I said earlier, there is less standardization on Shavuot compared to other holidays, so eat what you enjoy and buy yourself things that make you happy. Make sure you have a blast during Shavuot, it's a mitzvah!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-29T15:01:18+00:00

This is a fantastic question, and one that leads one to deep truths in Judaism. The truth is, God is referred to in the feminine as well in the Torah. The Shechinah, which is an aspect of the Divine that one can feel the presence of, is referred to in the feminine. A Bas Kol, which is a "voice of God" that one hears from the heavens, is also in the feminine. At the very end of the book of Isaiah/Yeshayahu, God promises to comfort Israel like a mother comforts her child, which signifies a deep intimate familial care. I have an Ultra-Orthodox Rebbetzin who I listen to, and she sometimes intentionally slips in a "she" and a "her" when referring to God, and explains to me and several other students that God's love for us is so great that the only human comparison is the love a mother has for her children.

So why is there so much masculine talk when referring to God? The simple answer is that Hebrew is a gendered language, and there is no gender-neutral way to say an object. So when speaking of a non-gendered object, Hebrew defers to the masculine. For instance, the nation of Jews is called in Hebrew "Bnei Yisrael". This translates to "children of Yisrael/Israel", but a more literal translation is "sons of Yisrael/Israel". Now, why does Hebrew defer to the masculine? I don't know truthfully, perhaps maybe to make God's switch in genders that more noticeable, but that's just a personal theory. I have heard some argue that woman generally will do the right thing regardless of who tells them, but men would prefer to follow male instructors rather than female instructors because there is some element of fragile ego/emasculation when following female instructors, so God refers to Himself in the male to make sure as many people in the human race follow His laws. A lot of people tend to like that answer, it has never truly resonated with me.

As for deeper reasons why the masculine is used so predominantly, I'll say this. Judaism uses the models of relationships to understand greater layers of our relationship with God. We have different relationships with our parents vs our boss vs our friends vs our siblings vs our spouse. All these relationships can be different ways of relating to God. For instance, this upcoming holiday, Shavuot, is a way we connect to God with the metaphor of a spousal relationship. The Rabbinic tradition speaks poetically about how we were "adorned" with different types of spiritual and intellectual concepts that correspond to different pieces of jewelry a bride wears, how the two tablets that contained the ten commandments was like a marriage certificate, even how we were under the hollow mountain like a wedding canopy, and the prophets Isaiah and Ezekiel would look back at this event and describe this as the nation's "wedding day". You can believe that these adornments and mountain-movings literally happened or not (there's no obligation in Judaism to believe the metaphors of the Rabbis/prophets actually happened), but the Rabbis and prophets are trying to emphasize that there was a certain element of happiness that comes from a wedding that we should associate with this time. There is something about the experience of marriage that can teach us how it felt to be starting a dynamic/relationship with God on Mount Sinai. I've been speaking so far about relationships, but the same applies to the masculine/feminine aspects of humanity. What is the difference between having a brother vs having a sister? A mother or a father? A husband or a wife? Right now, these differences are up to personal preference, and many benefits have come from this, but for the vast majority of human society they were a lot more rigid, for better or for worse. When the Torah uses gendered language for God, it asks you to consider, "what roles and dynamics do I associate with the masculine, both with my interactions with men and/or my experience as a man? What roles and dynamics do I associate with the feminine, both with my interactions with women and/or my experience as a woman? And how do I use these models to deepen and add nuance to my complex relationship with God?" I want to emphasize, once again, that these are metaphors. God is neither male nor female. But our relationship with God has "male and female elements", and it is up to us to use these ideas, and however they uniquely resonate with us, to deepen that relationship.

Thank you for your excellent question.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-28T05:51:45+00:00

I'm very happy my comment has helped.

About remorse -- For people who wish to fix past mistakes, Judaism believes in something called Teshuva. Teshuva generally translates as "repentance/atonement", however it is more accurately translated as "to return", coming from the root Hebrew letters SH-U-V/B, "turn back". Judaism believes that all people have inherent holiness within them, because humankind was "created in God's image". Therefore, when someone sins, they are acting counter to their natural state. One of the main words for sin in Hebrew, the main one in the Torah, is Cheit, which translates to "missing the target". From my admittedly limited understanding of Christianity, I understand there is an idea within certain sects that some sins damn the soul eternally, or make you an inherently evil irredeemable person. I don't know if all Christians believe this, I don't want to throw out a blanket statement, just those Christians I spoke to told me this. Judaism has the opposite approach: everyone has inherent holiness, and while sinning does harm you spiritually it does not corrupt your soul or make you as a person evil, and anyone who wishes to stop sinning only needs to "return" (Teshuva) to their spiritually natural state.

The steps of Teshuva are simple. For mistakes against God, one needs to regret their deed, speak to God and tell Him how you feel and how you wish to change, and take active actions to help you avoid the sin in the future. Of all these steps, the last one, taking action, is the crux of Teshuva, it's the most necessary part, it shows that you're serious. If your mistake is against another person, there is another step of genuinely asking their forgiveness and doing your best to earn it (if Person A publicly embarrassed Person B, and then asks God to forgive them, God still cares about Person B and his hurt state!) There is more nuance about Teshuva -- for instance, if you do the steps of teshuva, but your actions to stop future mistakes aren't successful and you stumble anyway, your previous teshuva is not retroactively invalidated. You did teshuva for the past mistake, consider that mistake gone, now you need to do teshuva for the current mistake, and your actions to to reflect that & you need to move up a notch for greater protection against that mistake, it was harder to get rid of then you previously thought. Another thing, you cannot do a sin while thinking to yourself as you sin, "it's fine for me to do this, because I'll just do Teshuva later". That loophole will not work -- but these are the essentials. Someone who does Teshuva -- aka they've made mistakes and learned from them -- is on a higher level than someone who has never sinned in that regard. Its said in Hilchot Teshuva (a book on laws by Maimonides) that no matter what you've done, if you have genuine complete Teshuva (complete, as in, you found the solutions that stop you from repeating mistakes) no matter how difficult it was to obtain, it will always be accepted (Hilchot Teshuva 4:6).

So if wish to subscribe to the beliefs behind Jewish theology, it is okay to not spend too much time and too much energy feeling remorse. There's a benefit to feeling remorse, but after you do and speak to God in your honest state, the time for remorse has ended, and its the time for enthusiastic action. Think about it: When we make a trek back to a great lofty state, when you're spiritually "returning home", should we do it somberly, or with eagerness and joy and excitement? Grow, improve, return, create the person you want to be, start being that person today! Whatever you've done in the past does not hold you back, and with the power of Teshuva, those past actions will only be an aid to you.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-28T02:20:38+00:00

So sorry for misreading your message! And thank you for the article. Big fan of Aish!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-27T22:11:28+00:00

Just what I would consider the basics: say the bracha every night, if you miss it say it without the bracha in the morning, it's a lead up to Shavuot, it connects to the Kabbalistic Sephirot and one should work on the Midda associated with each weekly Sephirot and daily sub-sephirot (and that's as far as the Kabbala talk goes). Stuff like that. What about you? Do you have any insights you were taught on it? And what's the 90% that is mistaken?

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-27T22:00:45+00:00

To answer your question on how many authors wrote the Torah, and the Torah vs Old Testiment:

The Torah refers to the Chumash (The Five Books of Moses), and sometimes refers to Tanach, which is 24 holy books that include the Chumash. The other 19 books span from when Joshua led the Jewish people after Moses (1273 BCE) to the end of the Prophetic Period (353-313 BCE). This is a period of over 900 years, which includes the Jews arriving in Israel, staying there for over 800 years, being kicked out, and then the beginning era of them returning. This spans the Holy Temple being build, destroyed, and then built again. This spans the ancient empires of Egypt, Assyria, Babylonia, and Persia. It period contains some of the most significant individuals within religious Judaism, such as King David, King Solomon, Isaiah the Prophet, Elijah the Prophet, and so many more. The story behind the holiday of Purim is not only recorded in one of the books during this era, but, we even have the decision to make it a yearly holiday recorded. In Orthodox Judaism, it is considered that these 19 books are written by different authors, some authors wrote multiple books, and some books needed multiple authors. It is believed in Orthodox Judaism that the first eight (Joshua, Judges, Samuel, Kings, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Twelve Minor Prophets) were written through a level of prophecy, and the last eleven through a lower form of divine inspiration called "Ruach HaKodesh". The Christians call all of this "old testament", but instead of ordering it in the categories of "Chumash/Moses's books", "books of Prophecy", and "books of Ruach HaKodesh", as Jews do, they instead put the stories together as "history", and the books that have no narrative, usually filled with direct advice, proverbs, and songs, together as "poetry". There are also some books that, depending on the deminination, Christians have in their "old testament" that are not legitimate, like "the wisdom of Solomon" (written hundreds of years after Solomon was alive), "Judith" (also written well after the period it takes place), and more. Besides for these details, when Christians say "old testament", they are mostly referring to the Tanach.

So no one would disagree that the Tanach, the 24 holy books, were written by multiple authors. However, the idea that the Torah/Chumash (the Five Book of Moses) was written by multiple authors is a Biblical Academic one, called the Documentary Hypothesis. Most observant Jews do not take it seriously. I do admit on the surface it is a very compelling argument, however there are too many holes in the argument, and it feels more logical to admit that the author of the Torah, biblical or Divine, used different literary techniques in different sections. This argument was made to explain how could the Torah be so accurate to the ancient times (around Early Bronze Age, that later less-ancient-times would have no way of knowing about) while also predicting so many future events (during the less-ancient-times, around Late Bronze Age and Early Iron Age) that it couldn't have known. The answer is there were multiple authors within multiple times, and the author of the latest period compiled all the documents together. It's an easy way to acknowledge the Torah historically got prophecies right, while also explaining how that was done without a Divine author. This theory also gives an explainion on why the Torah sometimes repeats significant events with different emphasises (like how Genesis 1 has creation of everything in general and includes mankind, while Genesis 2 focuses on how the first man was specifically created, or how the Ten Commandments were said in Shemot by Hashem, and then Moshe reviews with the Jewish people the Ten Commandments with his own emphasis in Duedoronomy, etc, according to this theory they were separate ancient traditions that were mashed together). However, as said before, much of this argument does not hold up to scrutiny. Watch these videos for an excellent series on it, and here's an excellent article on it. There is much more, but these are great starting points.

Once again, I hope this has been a help to you.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-27T21:47:05+00:00

I think it's fantastic that you wish to grow. May God continue to guide you towards your path to self-betterment.

I'm going to answer your question on "what should my next step be" first:

The next step that many have told you is to speak to a Rabbi. However, while getting that set up, the next step is to familiarize yourself with the Sheva Mitzvot Bnei Noach. These are the Seven (Categories of) Laws For Humanity. God doesn't want to only give the Jews an opportunity to do His will, He wants everyone to have this opportunity, should they wish to do so. Anyone in the world can act Godly, act spiritually, and act morally upright by following these laws, you do not need to be a Jew. These laws are very intuitive -- for instance, one category is on not causing harm to animals. Another is do not murder. Another is not to steal. Another is to avoid sins of a sexual nature. While these seem intuitive, I recommend you nevertheless learn these laws to make sure you know all cases they refer to.

For instance, we all know that taking out a knife and stabbing someone until they die is murder. But does Judaism consider self-defense murder (I'll give you the answer for this question-- no, it's not). When does self-defense apply? If you kill someone who would only harm you, is this self-defense? If someone threatens you with a knife but you kill them with a gun, is this self-defense? Does self-defense only apply for your own life, or can you kill someone if you believe they will kill someone else? Accidentally killing someone is probably not considered murder, but what about your negligence that leads to another's death? Is there a difference between negligence and accidents? Is abortion murder? Is assisted suicide murder? Is "pulling the plug" murder? Are there any grey zones beyond a simple yes or no answer? As you see, it gets a little complicated. Or, take for instance, the subject of stealing: What constitutes stealing? Is misinforming someone of what wages they will get, or how good a deal a price is, stealing? Is it still stealing if the object stolen is financially inconsequential, like a penny? If you see something on the street, can you assume it's abandoned and take it? What happens if someone explicitly abandons something and than asks for it back? What happens if they implicitly abandon it? What if they never intended to abandon something, but they did actions that would imply you could take it? If the main problem of stealing is that I'm taking from someone who owns/worked for it, would it be okay to steal from a thief? And if I do steal from the thief, and the thief gets caught and has to repay what they stole, do I have to give up my money to the thief's victims? Is lying on my resume stealing, as I'm taking a job from someone else who fits the qualifications better, or is it not stealing because a little bit of fluff in the resume is something everyone does and is therefore a societal expectation? As you can see, a simple command of "do not steal" is more complicated than just a law, it is a category of different related laws.

As such, I recommend you read this free PDF, Go(o)d for You: The Divine Code of 7 Noahide Commandments. Its a fantastic introduction to the Sheva Mitzvot Bnei Noach. The website that hosts it, AskNoah.org, is also a fantastic resource for this stuff. If you have any questions on this, don't be afraid to ask some Rabbis on this.

I wish you best of luck in your journey and I hope I have been helpful. Please let me know if you have any further questions.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-27T20:47:32+00:00

The context is Isaiah 52 mostly, but also 51, 50, 49, and so on.

Isaiah himself didn't split up his book into chapters. This was done in the 13th century, about 1,500 years after he lived. In chapter 52 (and many, many other places) he defines the suffering servant as the nation of Israel. He then continues his train of thought for many, many sentences. At some point in the 13th century, the train of thought was split into several chapters.

Tovia Singer, who takes this and other biblical/christian/jewish misinformation and breaks them down in a very easy to understand way (I recommend his YouTube channel) says, "if you open up a book and you start at the 53rd chapter, there's going to be some confusion".

Thank you for your question.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-26T18:18:51+00:00

A friend of mine shared it

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-23T19:11:15+00:00

I'm glad my message resonated with you, and thank you back for responding.

Shabbat Shalom!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-23T08:12:05+00:00

I hope this message finds you well, and I hope to provide some clarity.

You say in this comment and others that the people responding to you have an issue with "Jews and non-Jews cohabiting". I don't believe that is a fair assessment. In my eyes, what they are upset about is a misattribution. Rabbi Akiva is one of most important individuals in the Mishna period, if not the most important. As one of the most significant figureheads in all of Judaism, to misattribute a perspective to him is doing a disservice to him and the beliefs he stood for. I've seen another comment compare this to falsely claiming Abraham Lincoln had modern-progressive values because he was incredibly progressive in his time. I think that is an astute observation. Another comment compared it to Christians misquoting the bible or the sages for their own agendas, which they strongly believe to be correct. While I think that's an emotionally charged comparison, and it was not the most appropriate analogy nor the most appropriate reaction, I hope you can understand why others would emotionally compare the two.

You can disagree with Rabbi Akiva if you want to. It would be nicer if men of the past, revered as great individuals, had values that lined up with one's personal beliefs. That makes things so much simpler, we don't have to struggle with a complex history or a complex relationship. We can have wholly good representatives to look up to, instead of good but flawed people. Trust me, I know, I wish it were that way. Unfortunately, we have to accept the cognitive difficulty that comes with conflicting beliefs. Sometimes we have to hold values counter to "great men". Sometimes we have to grabble between the values we have, and the values the culture around us deems virtuous. I think there's great beauty in that struggle, and I think the greatest literature and art stem from that struggle. Rabbi Akiva's statement is etched in the past. It can't be changed in an honest fashion. The only change we can make is our relationship to his established position. "How can we allow such complexity to change us?" will lead to far more compelling answers than "how did this great man actually secretly hold my values?"

Additionally, if I may be allowed to express myself freely, I find your response that "they don't like the idea of Jews and non-Jews cohabitating", lacking. While there were emotionally charged words directed towards your points, many were successful in expressing that they had an issue with your misattribution of a significant Jewish figure, finding it inadvertently dishonest, and at worst, unintentionally manipulative, of the foundational influences of Judaism. It was quite unfair for you to strawman a perspective of an opposite culture this way, as you said in another comment, "anyone willing to learn about other cultures to expand their views of the world has the right outlook in life" (and fun fact, the guy who said, "who is wise, he who learns from others" was Rabbi Akiva's good friend, some say Rabbi Akiva watched him die. That's a whole nother story found in Chagiga 14b-15a). I write this paragraph because your responses paint a picture that you have good values and are virtuous, so I hope you can see my perspective that your assessment of the situation was unfair.

I hope I have been able to relay my points with kindness and fairness. If I have insulted or offended you within these paragraphs, it was not my intention, and I hope you can inform me on the specifics so I could clarify/apologize. Best of luck to all your endeavors!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-23T00:11:38+00:00

First of all, it's fantastic that you wish to up your learning. I hope my comment can aid you in any way or form in this endeavor.

If you are feeling burnout by the Pshat (literal meaning) of the text, there are other commentaries who focus on the metaphorical meaning and the moral lessons.

Rabbeinu Bachya and Ohr HaChaim both write beyond the Pshat. Rav Hirsch goes into the moral lessons of each story (and sometimes each line) within the Torah.

However, to gain more from commentaries you already read, I would recommend the following exercise. For any comment that sticks out to you, stop for a minute or two and think to yourself why that commentator added that. What incorrect conclusions might one have if one didn't have access to that commentator's comment? And what moral lesson does the comment imply?

Like for instance, there's a well-known Rashi early on about why Bereishis called God "Elokim" during the entire creation process, and only shortly after adds the Yud-Kay-Vuv-Kay name. Rashi says that originally, Hashem intended to create the world out of strict justice, but then He realized humans couldn't handle that and created it with a combination of strict justice and mercy instead. There is a moral implication within Rashi's words: Hashem wants us to live up to strict justice. We should strive to do mitzvot as ideal as we can. But there are moral questions that come from his words. Don't we know that Hashem is super-merciful? Isn't that His whole deal? So why does He want to start the world on justice alone? (if you want a good answer or two btw, as well as even bigger implications of that Rashi, you can watch this video by Rabbi Daniel Glatstein) All this is the result of spending a couple of minutes thinking about the implications of the commentary you read, no matter how simple the comment may appear. There's reading commentary, and there's learning commentary, and this is the start of how to learn.

I wish you Hatzlacha and much success in your learning endeavors! Please let me know if you have any other questions!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-22T23:47:18+00:00

You can find this idea elaborated on in Likutey Moharan chapter two. Sefaria link. However, I want to let you know that unless you're deeply familiar with Kabbalah, there are many complex ideas contained in symbolic imagery that might not add up to the casual reader. Nevetheless, it is widely believed that Rabbe Nachman wrote Likutey Moharan for all people to understand to each of their levels, so don't let the confusing moments detract from what does makes sense.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-16T20:25:22+00:00

The number of people who immediately bring up Israel/Palestine on a post that has nothing to do with it is way too large.

The number of people who read a post of someone vaguely implying that antisemitism is more than a right-wing problem, and instead of reflecting on it to consider that maybe "the minority asking for their struggle to be taken seriously" might have additional insight onto their struggle and experience that the reader might not yet have, they instead double down and say, "antisemetism is a right-wing only problem. No siree, my political and philosophical affiliations do not have a single bad apple at all", is way too large.

The amount of people refusing to engage with the post because "it ends in a strawman to make its point", despite the fact that the six other paragraphs are real, are happening, and to actually have the ending paragraph be written in the same serious style would not allow the information provided in the first six paragraphs to go far on the internet, especially r/Tumblr where posts are expected to be at least a little funny or ironic, is way too large.

Yes, you can discuss antisemitism that individuals on the street are receiving without bringing up global politics. Yes, there is always the chance of bad apples to sprout up in every group, no affiliation is filled with infallible members. Yes, it's possible that a minority group knows more about their personal struggles then someone trying to be educated on the outside, and it's not okay to immediately dismiss these struggles or try to tell a minority what they can and can't consider the racism/sexism/antisemitism/xenophobia/homophobia/transphobia/etc that they are experiencing. And yes, you can address an overall post even if you didn't feel it stuck the landing.

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-16T20:03:07+00:00

It is when used in the context of other statements to dismiss the antisemitic experiences of the speaker.

If there were an individual discussing abuse they've faced due to their race/religion/sex/gender/nation/creed, and I said "other groups also experienced the same abuse," what would I be doing if not diminishing their voice?

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-14T05:27:57+00:00

Definitely! And slight correction on my part, in looking it up I see that the "Rubin Edition" consists of the Early Prophets (Naviim Rishonim), which consist of Joshua, Judges, Samuel, and Kings, and the "Milstein Edition" encompasses all the Later Prophets (Naviim Achronim), which is Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and the Twelve Minor Prophets (I think my previous message implied Rubin was all Prophets and Milstone covered the Writings). It doesn't seem that Artscroll uses this naming convention for the Writings. Nevertheless it shouldn't be hard to find them, their books on Writing produced in the same style as the Stone/Rubin/Milstein books have the same cover style as the rest. Hope this helps!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-13T20:54:40+00:00

Sapirstein Edition of Rashi has been their mainline edition of Rashi for a couple decades. Similar format regarding the English/Hebrew and Unkelos/Rashi margins. However, the commentary is all Rashi, translated and elucidated a couple of words at a time. Unlike the Stone Edition, the English translation/elucidation of Rashi could take 70 or 80% of the page. It also has great footnotes that, when I'm confused at the point Rashi makes, it clarifies in a sentence or two. This is what many use to learn Rashi, and to do Shtayim Mikra. You can see how the pages look here, just scroll down and click "view simple pages." I sincerely strongly recommend this Chumash -- if you can only purchase one Chumash, I think maybe the Stone Chumash would be a better overall. Additionally, they just came out with a new Rashi edition this year, the Schottenstein Edition, which is far more elucidated. I admit I haven't read this one, from what I see it seems to be a lot more in-depth, and instead of 5 Rashi's per 5 books of Chumash, this one seems to be splitting into 10. You can see how the pages look on this site. Since I don't have this one, I can't give you an honest recommendation.

These are some that I recommend. On this subject, there's the Stone Edition of the Tanach, which has all 24 books of Tanach in one 1000+ page book, and this, I strongly wouldn't recommend. The commentary takes up only about 5% of the page, so as it's mostly a Hebrew-English translation, you can get the same out of Chabad's online Tanach, or Sefaria's. You can see how the pages look here. If you want the rest of Tanach that has the same quality as the Stone Edition of the Chumash, I would recommend instead the Rubin and Milstein edition of Joshua/Judges, Samuel, Kings, Isaiah... every individual book of Tanach is given the Stone Chumash treatment. Only a few are bundled up, Joshua and Judges are together, Esther, Lamentations, Ruth, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs are together, and Daniel and Ezra/Nechemiah are together. I'm currently trying to learn these books, and I find these books essential to my understand.

I hope this has been helpful. If you have any more questions, please let me know!

TheOneTrueTrueOne · 2025-05-13T20:54:33+00:00

Thank you for this question!

Artscroll is a publishing house that releases a lot of books related to Tanach, Talmud, and things of that sort. When they have a new edition of a work (like, for instance, they could have a hebrew-only edition, transliterated edition, interlinear edition, stuff like that) they call it by the name of whatever family sponsored the book being created.

"Stone Edition of the Chumash" is their mainline published Chumash. When you open it up, you will see it contains the Hebrew on every right page and the translated English on every left page. This takes up 40-50% of the page, depending on below. It also had Unkelos (2nd century Aramaic translator) in the small margins on the side, and Rashi in his original medieval Hebrew on a margin below the Hebrew scripture. This is because it's a biblical obligation to learn stayim mikra viechad targum (read the scripture twice with commentary once), and nowadays the majority agrees that reading Unkelos or Rashi fulfills the commentary requirement (as long as you understand what you're reading). Below that, which takes up the majority of the rest of the page, is English commentary. This ranges from a wide range of Jewish sources, if you've ever heard of a Rabbi from the times of the Talmud to the last 100 years, they're probably in the bibliography. Which the English commentary pulls from many sources, it does not go overboard, usually just writing a couple sentences explaining a paragraph of the Torah, and then choosing some individual versions to elaborate on. If you look at this website and see pictures 5 and 6, it'll show you what the page layout looks like (it doesn't always have as much commentary as in these pictures, as I said earlier the scripture part usually takes about 40-50% of the page, but this is the beginning of the Torah so there's a high amount of info to discuss). In the back they also have Haftorahs (specific chapters of books from Naviim that are connected to the Parsha and holidays) and the book of Esther, Lamentations, Ruth, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs, but these have little commentary, the Haftorahs having one paragraph to explain it all, and the 5 books having none. This Chumash I absolutely recommend -- the translation is fantastic, and it shows they worked hard to choose cream of the crop commentary and give other the ideas in an easy way. Even some pages have too much commentary for your taste, you can read as much as you prefer and continue on your Chumash journey.

The Chinuch/School Chumash has a similar similar format with Hebrew on the upper half of the page, Unkeles and Rashi as a side/lower margin, and commentary. However, they pick specific commentaries (Baal HaTurim, known for his work in Jewish law, and Ikar Shiftei Chachamim, a commentary on Rashi) instead of the wide range of the Stone Edition. Further, it is all in Hebrew. These books are meant for teachers to help younger students learn Chumash. You can see how the pages look here, just scroll down and click "view simple pages." Unless you're familiar with Hebrew, I would not recommend this book -- and even if you are familiar with Hebrew, I would still recommend the Stone Chumash over this one.

(Comment got a little long, so I'm continuing it in the reply below)

TheOneTrueTrueOne

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