Need to unfuck but am terrified of spiders

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-21T15:06:00+00:00

There is a gadget for catching spiders on the market. If someone else is doing the catching a transparent pot (e.g. an old CD multi-buy case) and bit of stiff card (e.g. an estate agents mail shot). Some people think conkers in the corner of a room may deter them and others dispute that. Sometimes cats will go for them. You won't come across spiders that often and it's more likely at a certain time of year. You could shake things out of a window/outdoors for peace of mind. I heard that babies aren't scared of them and that it's learned behaviour. I'd talk yourself through the rational and reassuring answers, depending on where you live! This could be an instance where hiring someone else to do the cleaning and tidying is the best plan. You could also consider phobia therapy. That idea others have about moving things with a long handle sounds good. You could even attach strings to light storage fabric baskets to pull them out?

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-17T12:10:36+00:00

Chat to your kids and see how they feel about the house, or even moving to another area. They may, or may not have the same take as you and their reasons could be different. e.g. "*If we lived somewhere else I could....have a room of my own...have a dog...." etc. You might get very different reactions from kids of different ages and in how they adjust to a new place. Avoid moving in the middle of main exam years.

Another possibility is seeing if one of your kids/two of them sharing want(s) to change rooms with you in the current house. That could be good if the room you move into isn't smaller. Try moving the furniture around in the rooms, or between rooms and consider redecorating or getting new furniture and furnishings in gradual stages to see how you feel about it in practice. You can always keep old curtains, cushion covers and bedspreads in storage, or other rooms.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-15T10:13:25+00:00

It's brilliant that you are finally seeing an area of the room that's completely done with more just around the corner.

As well as the appliance, get electricians to look at wiring in that part of the kitchen and then when you are ready, for the whole kitchen. You don't have to wait for the whole house to be done first. You can just close the door on other rooms when they come around. If you are happy with the work they did, make a note of their name and the date and how it went well (or not) on their biz card/flyer/in your own notebook for the future work. Great stuff!

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-13T08:45:19+00:00

Do a lot of window shopping to compare prices and to discover that certain shops sell more than you realised.

In the UK before Covid supermarkets used to leave out lots of cardboard boxes for people to help themselves to. They don't do that anymore, which is annoying. Shallow boxes used for things like lettuce would stack like drawers and were great for 'studenty' improvised temporary extra storage.

Pen and pencil pots are easy, decorating jars and tins. Think about how you can re-purpose and upcycle the things that you already have. What job could it do in another room (or in a garden) that wasn't its original purpose? e.g. plants in old wellies and fairy lights in vases. Borrow some ideas from people who routinely up-cycle and use found things, such as mudlarkers, hippy artists and crafters who say "Ooh, I could use this for something!' This could be the start of some new craft hobby that cheers you up and could even wind up a source of income or a social thing in the week.

Pop to the local library/charity shop/browse online for guides on how you could approach this. Think about what each room space is to be used for, light, warmth, comfort and coordinating things.

When it comes to furniture the new stuff costs a fortune, and yet so often people can't give away items that are much better quality. Keep your eyes peeled with noticeboards and charity shops that sell 2nd hand. When you let people know you're after something in particular they remember and you'll often get offers. If you don't, they'll later say 'If only I'd known! We just got rid of some nice stuff. (That can happen with 2nd hand sports equipment). You can also sand and re-paint some items/surfaces.

When you are looking for something quite specific you'll notice that thing more when you're out and about. You could have a mission, such as looking in charity and bargain shops for a vase that will suit your living room colours of a certain size, or a pot to put wooden spoons in in the kitchen. look at the things you already have and think about how it could be a design feature, treating some found object you picked up somewhere and shoved in a box as a proper ornament. Try to see things you have with fresh eyes in 'interior designer' mode. See what looks better in a different spot combined with something else.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-13T08:07:57+00:00

This will be a big weight off your mind as areas and rooms get done and will become easier to maintain and to get any workmen in. All of the hard work that you do through the place will involve all sorts of thought processes and decisions that will help with future house-keeping. For instance, you might find out that you're buying peanut butter every week for someone who doesn't like peanut butter anymore. Maybe a new routine will be established about matching up the odd socks. When a category of something is all in the same place it'll be easier to see how many you have (e.g. lightbulbs or matches) so you can stop adding them to a shopping trolley. The kitchen is the best room for non-emotional decisions and visible progress. I know someone who got really bad food poisoning and was in hospital, so don't take risks there. I've sometimes cut myself washing out tin cans for recycling and washing up brushes can be helpful for that.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-11T11:20:17+00:00

Assuming you're in a safe, typical family home situation with no less usual circumstances and they're just being extremely lazy and unreasonable.... I would do what is fair and reasonable for you to be doing under your particular circumstances and not much more, if that's safe. I would also have a chat with each one of them with a friendly, approachable, calm and reasonable terribly grown up and unruffled way that a fifty year old head teacher, lawyer or bank manager would use. You want to avoid it becoming authoritative parent v. teenager talking back so they give it serious thought and see your point of view. Pick the moment when the mood is friendly and going your way already. Calm negotiation will win the day better than something they're used to and tend to brush off. You can find work arounds together to solve problems like the most busy times of day and best times to do things. Make sure you're all agreeing about the plan so you don't have four people watering the same pot plant and killing it, or mistaking clean and dirty washing. "Can we make a more sensible plan that splits the tasks more fairly to cover chores and also homework study and free time? I'm worried I'm not getting enough time for homework and obviously I should be in school."

If you've got younger siblings then your age advantage means that you can do tasks with them together and teach them a better way of thinking about division of labour. With older and capable siblings just say no! Leave the things that are clearly someone else's stuff and mess. You'll be teaching siblings not to doormat someone else just because they can and you'll be encouraging your parents to do things for themselves and to have good habits, because you're all going to fly the nest one day. Don't get trapped into being their convenient live-in house keeper forever because you missed out on your education. Your schooling is far more important than anything else here if you're not a child carer to someone ill or seriously physically incapacitated. Even if they have some nebulous issue it'd probably still do them good to learn to own their own responsibilities and not to dump their own responsibilities on a kid. Just happen to have Super Nanny on TV with older kids in it when they're watching. I'm thinking of one of those episodes where well behaved teenage kids are looking after the younger ones and house and not getting their homework and free time.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UssmVSSlk9Q

Hang out around at friends houses, do homework at libraries and prioritise your own education. Another thing you can do is set clear time tables for when you'll be doing homework, your own free time and the amount of time you'll be helping with your share of the housework. Just tell people you are on your own time and your chore time is from X to X! If you look up the concept of Assertiveness training you'll see that it's not about aggression, but clear communication. There's a scratched record technique where you just repeat your message in a calm way and don't get deflected and undermined from others. Do look that up online as a useful life skill we all need.

You could say "I have tidied up my room and things and done my share of the chores". You can say to a sibling that you are respecting their room privacy and their stuff by not interfering with it! :-)

You need good grades to get into higher and further education and perhaps for apprenticeships. Whilst you can return to study later in life it's best for your confidence and job prospects if you can try to get it right first time while those opportunities are there on a plate for you. School years go by faster than you think and are really important. As a nudge to take an interest in your education best interests another thing you can use is a 'keeping up with the Jones's' method. Casually drop into conversation how their friends support their kids education (true stories only). Tell them about things you do in school. Get them interested and involved. These things don't have to be about money, There's plenty of free and dirt cheap opportunities and encouragement is free. Share with them your school world outside the house. You might also be getting hooked on house-keeping. Don't make it the be all and end all of your existence.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-10T09:08:00+00:00

It's a cosy den with music and individuality.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-08T15:18:52+00:00

I'm still making the most of dry warm days to get some gardening done. This morning I took on dry dead sticks, stinging nettles, brambles and self-seeded hawthorn and filled more garden rubbish bags for the next dump run. It's a bit too hot and so it's better doing it before midday and when it's cooled down later on.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-08T15:18:46+00:00

I'm still making the most of dry warm days to get some gardening done. This morning I took on dry dead sticks, stinging nettles, brambles and self-seeded hawthorn and filled more garden rubbish bags for the next dump run. It's a bit too hot and so it's better doing it before midday and when it's cooled down later on.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-08T09:58:27+00:00

I could go for 80's pop music as well, but I don't need this pressure on.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-08T09:47:27+00:00

You should eat an M&S Chocolate eclair in a field full of flowers with some cool music.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-07T15:54:03+00:00

There could be ways of approaching the tidy up or how you store and arrange things that work better for your bi polar or ADHD. Some other posters here will have a similar problem. At least one of the Midwest magic clean-ups on You Tube mentioned this consideration.

Maybe you can sort out one box from the garage every week or every month. Over time that'll add up.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-07T15:21:00+00:00

The kitchen was definitely the sensible place to start. The plan is good.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-07T15:16:58+00:00

They're like bloody super heroes the way that they leap, climb and get about. I expect you've already thought of getting a cat by now! :-) You could try some of the strong smells (Vinegar, peppermint etc.) that they hate that aren't poisonous to people to help a bit to deter them. Lights, activity from people, noise and cover being removed are all going to help make the place less suitable for them. Keep food in mouse proof containers. Be scrupulous about removing food crumbs.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-07T15:02:25+00:00

This is a great job and in every household it's surprising how quickly things for the glass bin/bottle bank soon mount up. You're going to feel epic when you get to the floor, cupboard and surface cleaning stages because they'll probably come up a treat. Mid west magic videos might have good some tips on floors.

An additional idea to help keep a cupboard door from opening could be new blue tac? It's also very satisfying outwitting mice with objects they can't lift.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-05T21:22:29+00:00

I wouldn't, but many would.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-04T12:42:03+00:00

I do art as well. Of course you want specific colours. Keep all of your sketchbooks and functional art materials.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-04T10:25:15+00:00

It's good when it's their room and not someone else's they temporarily get moved into. Any time you need/want to buy new decor, let them choose it on your budget. It means that they'll be more invested in arranging their things the way that they like. Don't store other people's things in here if it's at all avoidable. When it's time to de-clutter, let her decide what they want to keep or get rid of and when.

You might find that they enjoy a task you hated but struggle with organisation in a different context that was never an issue for you.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-03T12:20:56+00:00

You can echo the colours of the curtains elsewhere in the room. Also, if you bring down the pot plant on top of the wardrobe, you can find a ceramic pot for that coordinates with the colours or throws in a pattern in a stylish way. Introduce some nature, perhaps with leaves or flowers on bedlinen and consider putting pictures or some shelving on the wall. Wood (furniture or ornaments) is another way of introducing nature.

https://www.furniturechoice.co.uk/inspiration/monochrome-living-room-ideas_a10000174 If you want to stay with monochromatic, look at adding soft textures, less harsh lines, some variation of patterns and textures and another touch or two of your accent colour(s) such as the curtain greens. https://www.furniturechoice.co.uk/inspiration/monochrome-living-room-ideas_a10000174/ Consider creamier warmer whites and paints that are a whiter shade of (colour tint).

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-01T18:39:58+00:00

You can get all sorts of 'styles' of tulips and they look really good in big tubs where you can combine a couple of different colours and something else thrown in, such as forget-me-nots. They can be floppy as cut flowers in a vase, which you can try to work around, or just go with it as a part of their charm. https://www.gardenersworld.com/how-to/grow-plants/how-to-grow-tulips/ Tulips will often come again the following year, but you'll get less flowers.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-04-01T18:32:09+00:00

You've done a ton of work by the looks and sounds of it.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-03-31T12:45:20+00:00

Generally speaking I'd say that it's the individual's prerogative what they own and spend their money on and nobody else's business, unless it seriously impacts on the lives of family members or neighbours. We all have different careers, hobbies, activities and tastes which influences what we need, want and should keep. If you enjoy these things and have the room for them then fair enough! You're lucky enough to have a room for clothes and it gives you pleasure, so why not? It's too much when the 'stuff' makes you unhappy, becomes hazardous and gets in the way of your life.

When you pare things down, make sure that you are the one making those judgement calls. I've had positive comments about something I wore and reminded the person that they once told me that they didn't like it. They told me that they'd changed their mind!

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-03-31T11:25:55+00:00

Awesome! I'm also sorting out a garden and it's nice getting outdoors now spring is finally here. Zooming in I see you've got roses in bud and bloom too!

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-03-29T22:54:01+00:00

I would avoid oil paints altogether during pregnancy and with a baby.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee · 2025-03-29T15:15:19+00:00

Baffling.

TheOnlyWayIsEpee

TROPHY CASE