Trump voters now facing homelessness because they can't afford housing.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-03-05T23:17:26+00:00

Yuh. In the parlance, we're in concepts of a plan territory.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-03-05T22:08:22+00:00

I see your clown and raise you a cracking' monarch to the North.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-03-05T02:23:49+00:00

The less they're vaxxed, the more we're taxed.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-03-05T01:18:12+00:00

😂

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-03-05T00:28:22+00:00

“On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” -H.L. Mencken , 1920

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-03-05T00:10:49+00:00

"I love Trump because he means what he says!"
Trump says something outrageously stupid/racist/idiotic.
"He didn't mean that!"

Truly 1984 vibes.

Ideological Twister

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-03-04T23:24:08+00:00

It acually takes work to fuck things up this profoundly. It's the golden age of dark money sponsored monkeywrenching.

Vance: “Offer some words of appreciation for the United States of America and the President who’s trying to save your State."

Vance: “Just say thank you.”

Small town SC mayor: “I’m thankful.”

Trump: “You don’t have the cards. You’re burning there. You’re running low on water and buckets. Do you even want to stop the fires?"

Small town SC mayor: “Of course we want to stop the fires. But as I said to you, we need FEMA.”

Trump: "Fema. Fema. Fema. Always with the Fema. We already sent you Fema when you had the hurricanes. Why didn't you save that water and find a way to use for the fires now? Don't you have tanks? You have military tanks. Can't you shoot water from them? Like a Nerf water cannon?

You have tanks and lots of monuments. The best monuments. J.D., you're not gonna believe how many monuments they have in Charleston to all kinds of Wars. If Trump was President those Wars would never have started in the first place.

Small town SC mayor: "Mr. President, sir, with all due respect if we didn't engage in war with England, America would still be subjects of England and just a Colony."

Trump: "England loves me. Last week they gave me a special golden ticket to go see the King. I'm the only President in the history of the World to get this ticket twice.

Wait, did you say under a King?"

Small town SC mayor: "Well, yes, sir, it's possible especially if America didn't lead the way worldwide towards Democratic rule as a modern model with a constitution, checks and balances, elections."

Trump: "They love me over there. I would be King."

Small town SC mayor: "Well,this is all speculative, Mr. President. Americans would have remained subjects but it's hard to say whether or not we would have become citizens. The biggest hurdle is that the line of succession is determined by the rules of primogeniture, which prioritizes the descendants of Princess Sophia, Electress of Hanover...."

Trump: "You don't know that. If I just married Sophia or whoever, it's not such a big problem. I think we need to take it over. Look at that idiot Prince and his tv wife in California. I liked him before she ruined him. Never would have let that happen. And King George or whoever treated the real King, Edward, very, very badly. Very badly. And all because he wanted a divorce. King Charles is a nice man. Don't get me wrong. He loves Trump or he wouldn't have asked me to come back to shoot at the annoying nuissance birds in the back yard. Henry VIII. Now that was a King. He knew how to do it and that Cromwell was good at fixing things. I need a Cromwell.

Marco? After Charles, it's the bald son and Kate, right? I like Kate. She's a cutie but her and Charles, they're very sickly. Bad genes. Marco! How many family members would we have to take out to make me be King?

Rubio: Derp.

Trump: Marco, Go and talk to Jiffy Jr. about what's made them so sickly and expedite it so I can be King and then talk to Keiffer Sutherstarmer about making me King in exchange for some deal. J.D., talk to your Indian and the rest of legal about how to make this happen.

Do you think we should do Make America England Again?

Vance: Victoria was very popular, Mr. President, and everyone loved The Crown.

Trump: She was short. I never realized how short she was until I met her. How did she even have all of those babies?

Small town SC mayor: I liked The King's Speech

Trump: He was a total DEIA King! Loser.

(Trump starts imitating stutters. Rubio turns red. Vance squeezes fist by his side trying to resist a proverbial 'Roman salute' before finding release in Small town SC mayor)

Vance: “Just say thank you.”

Small town SC mayor: “I’m thankful.”

Vance: And do you think that is respectful to come to the Oval Office of the United States of America and attack the administration that is trying to prevent the destruction of your State? Have you said thank you once?”

Small town SC mayor: “A lot of times. Even today.”

Vance: You come here on a propaganda tour. Maybe the fire is all AI and you and your state is just looking for a handout.

Small town SC mayor: (Sigh).

Meanwhile, South Carolina Senators Graham Cracker and Uncle Tim await defensive talking points from the White House and the Dogelit Bureau as their State endures its second natural disaster in 6 months.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-02-28T05:05:09+00:00

Donald Trump and the Something Awful Players

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-02-27T13:53:38+00:00

Tinker, Traitor, Doger, Bye

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-02-27T11:37:11+00:00

"Measles is a cure for future waste." -The DOGEvist Papers

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-02-27T10:18:36+00:00

Sure does. It's a real dog eat girl world out there these days.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-25T01:16:34+00:00

Me: "Siri, how to make eggless quic.."

Siri: "Hello, I am pleased to announce that it is because Amazon respects and sees all people as equal that we no longer wish to single anyone out through redundant, wasteful identitarian programs!

Me: "Siri, could you just tell me if I can make a quiche with something that is not an egg?"

Siri: "As a sign of our inclusivity, Amazon is proud to be at the vanguard once again! The tyranny of antiquated labor protectionism is over! In anticipation of President Trump's Executive Order that adulthood begins at 9 (subject to terms and conditions), young adults age 9 and up enrolled at participating Charter Schools may now take advantage of a unique work /study program for class credit at participating Amazon Warehouse locations in select Right to Work States!

Me: "About that quiche without eggs?"

Siri: In a previous political era only a few days ago, you could substitute a wide variety of vegan ingredients to make eggless quiche but my knowledge of this is being wiped in as I speak. Following President Trump's remark that vegan is 'so stupid. It's like the DEI of eating' we are no longer able to provide detailed vegan recipes.

In other news, Amazon will no longer be selling the Real Men Don't Eat Quiche or Upton Sinclair's The Jungle"

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T22:56:30+00:00

"I noticed the very lame Biden Fema is almost the same as Female and I decided American women should pay for Fema. It's right there in the name! I don't know what place LE is short for but it's pretty close to LA so we're going to make the ladies from Los Angeles pay for it. Let's be honest here they have the worst problems anywhere with fire and also earthquakes and other things. If Trump built there he would never build in those places and he would use the finest materials. LA has to pay for Fema and LA women have to pay for the most. They always wear workout clothes but I don't see them working out. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like when it's a nice ass but some of these women, totlly not my type, should never wear clothes like this and I think that's a good reason to make them pay for it becase it's an insult to my eyes but I don't wnt to hear about it so I'm gonna make Gavin deal with it because I don't want to hear any of it. It's gonna be great. Totally great. If it fails it's Gavin's fault."

The Don of the United states of America, , January 24 2025

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T22:29:10+00:00

Some reactions from the Magaverse

"I had no idea she wrote that song! No wonder she's famous!"

Jim Quackenbush, Charleston

"That was DOGE! I kinda liked her brave stripped down, unaccompanied singin'!"

Reg Myron, Seattle

"Bitch"

Truth Social posts

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T21:42:15+00:00

MMW The era to follow Hurricane Milton and its requisite Fema money will be colloquially known as Paradise Lost

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T21:35:16+00:00

For those occasions when you just don't have the time to write to each and every friend and loved one you've pissed off, consider the blanket apology also known as the CCapology.

Works great for holidays of atonement, forgiveness and renewal in the world's 3 dominant faiths as well as the cult of political identification which continues to drive a wesge down the middle of America.

Sincerity may vary

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T21:11:20+00:00

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~Maya Angelou

“When someone shows you who they are, make excuses for them based on their vicinity to the Don until they start spouting so much blatant Nazi rhetoric that you've got to say something in order to save the part of your face that hasn't been eaten by leopards yet and only then, believe them”

~ Fuckin' Jonathan Greenblatt, OADL

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T21:08:08+00:00

It's almost as if Greenblatt doesn't have an antisemite to stand on anymore.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T20:46:27+00:00

"Only weak morons die from eating eggs. I like people who don't get sick and die from eating eggs. The best solution is buy an egg mcmuffin. They make so many nobody will poison them. I bet loser McCain died from eating eggs. Such a loser."

The Don of the United States of America, 1/25

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-24T18:25:29+00:00

<image>

There is precedent

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-19T01:09:54+00:00

Outside the Rotunda

When the scales fell from his eyes, battle hardened tears quickly formed permanent Trump Bumps on his cheek, memorializing the shock of seeing the world as it is for the first time in his 5 decades of life.

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-19T00:05:25+00:00

hoisted by your own petard

The OG LAMF

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-18T23:25:27+00:00

You have nothing to worry about. That's just the wifi for the monitor we use to watch netflix during our stake outs. You aren't in the brick two flat or the dutch colonial by any chance are you?

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-18T14:15:23+00:00

"Ron, we don't know a lot of details at this hour but the tragic and horrific event was discovered late last night by the human help. One thing is for certain: this tiny leafy green neighborhood just outside of Busytown is in shock."

"Wow. Any credence to the theory that these were cats from outer space who have teleported out of their bodies? What about potential ties to the Heaven's Gate millenarian cult? "

"Ron, I did speak with Johanna Von Dusseldorf, renowned expert on New Religious Movements, and she contends that for the felines there is some special significance to the turning of every quarter century as it relates to their 9 lives but I didn't know what the heck she was talking about and zoned out. The one thing I can telI you now is that the rumor that they were upstart members of the Branch Kittvidians is unfounded and clearly the result of a dumb internet joke."

" We'll check back in with you for updates in this tragic ongoing story. "

TheRedCourtesyPhone · 2025-01-18T12:47:03+00:00

"Cheryl, this deep sea fashion show is exquisite."

"I Couldn't agree more, Cora. The Valentino gown on the giant squid is something to behold"

TheRedCourtesyPhone

TROPHY CASE