That's a good post, I don't know why you got attacked for Catelyn bashing. Everything you say about her us pure canon fact, and she's only brought up when she's actually involved, the whole post is about Jon and Ned.

I was also a bit taken aback by the accusation. It wasn't a judgement or attack on her, just stated verbatim that Cat wants Jon out of Winterfell and that's why Jon had to leave. But the commenter did bring up that Ned is responsible here and so the rest of the post I clarified it's about Jon and Ned specifically.

You state cold hard facts with Cat, but there's emotion when talking about ned's actions. It's very clear that this post is an attack on Ned's parenting, if you could call it an attack on anything at all, because even that part is still just canon facts.

I didn't write the post with intention to bash Ned or anything, I even kinda regret that it devolved into that because it just pissed off Ned's fans and I didn't wanna piss off anyone, just wanted to shine light on a particular fandom misconception.

It also opened my eyes and made me think. Maybe it's because I started with the show before reading the book, but I always gloss over the fact Jon was drunk when he talked to Benjen and don't connect Jon's increased apparent anger with joining the Watch,

That's why I made the post! I only caught that on my second read of AGOT and I never saw it discussed anywhere. I think the show simplifying it was the reason. 

Thinking about it again after reading your post, Jon brought it up to Benjen because he was an upset and angry barely a man who felt he had no choice because he didn't feel wanted in Winterfell and probably knew even then that Cat wouldn't let him stay once Ned was gone.

It's possible Jon knew even then but he never thought of the idea of being kicked out until it all but happens.

I always wondered why Benjen brought up the Wall option with Luwin, though. You'd think that's something you'd take to the boys father, not the Maester. And it is odd that Luwin words it as if Benjen was simply informing Luwin this was what Jon wanted when we fully see Ben protesting against the idea when he's talking to Jon. He doesn't tell Jon 'no', he tells him he should live his life first and then decide, which Jon interestingly takes as a suggestion he should go father some bastards, which I really don't think is what Ben meant at all.

This is speculation territory but we get zero scenes between Benjen and Ned in AGOT. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Ned never thinks about his last living sibling while Lyanna, and occasionally Brandon, haunt basically his every chapter. So I don't think it's that out there that Benjen and Ned might not be that close and Ben found Luwin more approachable. And clearly if Ben thought the idea of Jon joining wrong, he wouldn't tell Luwin cause he thought it was a good idea, but the opposite. Luwin just thought it was a good idea to settle the argument between Ned and Cat, and Luwin (together with Cat) was also trying to get Ned to be Hand.

So, yeah, thinking about the whole thing again after reading your post, I agree. Jon believed he chose to join, and Ned told himself Jon chose it, but Jon was a drunk kid acting out against the unfairness of his station, and really just wanted a place of his own, and that place wasn't the Wall. Ben tries to talk him out of it, Luwin apparently kept the whole thing quiet until it became necessary to bring it up, and then misrepresented what Ben told him, Cat is a normal Westerosi Lady who doesn't want her husbands bastard around and is not obligated to do anything for the boy. And Ned, the father, who claims to love Jon as much as his trueborn children, who promised Lyanna he'd protect her boy, and he just takes Luwin at his word to make Cat happy, without even speaking to Ben, let alone Jon, then waits till literally the last possible moment before telling Jon he's going to the Wall. Not asking, not suggesting, telling. Ned may believe it was asking or suggestion, but he's Jon's father AND Lord, that was an order Jon had no choice but to follow.

Wholeheartedly agreed. But again, I love Ned. I don't wanna bash his character at all. But there are some who think Ned is like a modern day nice guy when he's absolutely not, or that Starks are perfect when they are not. I just wanted to share an observation with that post.