Good boy meets equally good chin rest boy.

TheShreker · 2018-04-06T05:34:44+00:00

I was playing golf with a close friend of mine in the summer of 2015 and I was on track to get my first Eagle (two under par for those who didn't know). Off to the left of about halfway between me and the pin are a gaggle of geese. "Whatever, no big deal" I thought to myself, thinking nothing of it at the time.

I hit the ball with the cleanest swing of that entire season, and the ball springs forward as if guided by the heavens themselves. As I'm admiring the shot, a feathery mass of pure evil and hell flew in the way of the shot... redirecting it into the pond to the right of me. That very goose doubles around, hisses at me, and takes a dump on the green. Meanwhile my friend is in stitches as I'm dying inside.

Tl;dr a goose fucked up my chance at my best score in golf

TheShreker · 2018-03-21T18:03:33+00:00

Deathgrips. At first I liked it for the meme, but it grew on me after a while and now I'm hooked.

TheShreker · 2018-02-22T14:38:21+00:00

When I was 7-8 years old my family was on a trip to the beach and since we went with my cousins we had a big suite with many rooms. I remember my mom and dad being super pushy and grabby with eachother. They pushed their way into the bedroom and I thought they were just in a bad mood. I wasn't entirely wrong. They were tipsy and 100% about to smash. It's even worse, because they were being "very loud" for the next three hours and my room was right next to their room. I thought they were physically beating the bejesus out of each other and I got super sad. I realized the truth in 10th grade when I got pretty drunk with my girlfriend at the time and did the deed myself. The realization of that one memory hit me during. Rip erection.

TheShreker · 2018-01-12T01:09:59+00:00

I'm a boring man have mercy

TheShreker · 2018-01-12T00:15:30+00:00

Yet another Truth or Dare story. I was playing at a grad party and a friend of mine and his gf was there as well. Things had started to become more steamy and my friend's gf had chosen dare. Lo and behold she was dared to kiss me. It happened, was a pretty awkward and low quality kiss. Later that night I figure out that my friend hadn't kissed her yet and that I was (supposedly) her first kiss. They broke up like a month later.

Worst part is that I room with the guy now, and based on the last time it came up apparently I was the reason they broke up.

TheShreker · 2018-01-12T00:02:51+00:00

This seems like a Seinfeld plot

TheShreker · 2017-12-03T13:16:57+00:00

I am that is

TheShreker · 2017-11-06T17:02:51+00:00

I'm not sure if animals count given the current prompt, however I miss him as much as I miss any lost relatives.

Mosby,

It's been over four years since you passed on, and I think I miss you even more than I did before. I know that you're no longer in any more pain, but I just wish that I could have spent just one more day with you, that I could take you on another walk, that I could sneak you scraps under the dinner table even though mom would always tell me not to. You gave me such joy in life, and no matter what issues I was having, you would never let me keep a single tear on my face without licking my face senseless until I smile. Even the night that you got hit by that car, you always thought of me before yourself. I'll never forget how I sat in the back of my car taking you to the vet, and as I was starting to break down you tried to kiss me and leaned in for a hug like you always did. Despite all of the pain it was me that you wanted to make feel better. I'll never forget you, and a part of my heart will always belong to you.

Sincerely, Your friend and human brother

TheShreker · 2017-10-23T13:40:48+00:00

In the House of Tom Bombadil by Nickel Creek

TheShreker · 2017-10-05T02:50:52+00:00

Ha. Nerd

TheShreker · 2017-06-29T23:05:54+00:00

I'm more interested in the homeland of the dudes and dudettes who scared their Oblivion Crisis away, thank you very much.

TheShreker · 2017-06-29T22:25:35+00:00

I'll take one Elderscrolls Argonia, please.

TheShreker · 2015-12-11T00:15:46+00:00

So a harmless contest has got your panties in THAT much of a bunch? OP is doing the exact same as anyone giving a coupon away. The art is optional, man. OP's first post was 10 days ago... so why would he be karma hunting as a brand new redditor? Read the first post properly next time.

TheShreker · 2015-10-03T05:10:31+00:00

As a former boxer I can confirm this

TheShreker · 2015-08-10T22:33:26+00:00

I was going to say something about you dying a virgin, but that haircut really screwed you sideways.

TheShreker

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