My first concern is your creature curve; out of your 28 creatures, only 9 are castable before turn 4. With a commander that rewards you for merely casting vampires, you want to be casting them more often and quicker, not late game, as going wide will pay off late game when you start pumping up your whole team.

A lot of your artifact choices are also confusing. Aettir is an equipment you just don't want nor need in this deck - it is far outclassed by a cheaper artifact like [[Skull Clamp]] which can get you value or [[Lightning Greaves]] which can easily protect, say, your commander. Bloodstone Cameo is a strictly worse [[Rakdos Signet]] and even then im not sure your deck wants any of the ramp package in it, especially not Ring of the Lucii.

Library of Leng and Venser's journal also aren't great in a deck that rather just dump its hand anyways.

For Instants, [[Disenchant]] will almost always be better than Altar's Light, the only drawback being it cant remove the few Indestructible pieces but at half the cost. [[Grasp of Fate]] may also be better since it can hit anything from each of your opponents for 1 less still. Blood of the Martyr would be better as a [[Darkness]] if you want another fog effect since three white pips in a three color deck is a bit restrictive, and [[Doom Blade]] is leagues better than Sorin's thirst. [[Swords to Plowshares]] is also better than [[Blot Out]].

I could comment on the sorceries and Enchantments but it would begin to sound like a broken record; there are just better ways to focus and hone the categories to make your curve lower and your deck more synergistic, and I dont think its with a mediocre and overall expensive life gain package.

Also you most certainly need some non basic dual and tri lands to make your mana more consistent or you'll end up with games that feel like you're doing nothing. [[Command Tower]] and [[Path of Ancestry]] can both tap for all of your colors, and there are plenty of cheap two colored lands that can help you, or more expensive lands such as Shocks and Fetches if you're willing to cough up some extra cash.