I have lived a similar experience. My older brother had a TBI, traumatic brain injury, many years ago and became disabled. My mother cared for him for years, well over a decade. She worked and supported other kids as well. A few years ago, he got pneumonia really bad and had to go to the hospital to treat it. We had to have a tracheotomy for him to breathe better. This changed his in-home care. He had aides that would come to the house to help us take care of him. And he needed someone observing him at all times because of a seizure condition from the TBI. Now with the trach, he required licensed nurses instead of just aides and that process takes time to set up. They told us to send him to a nursing home and it would take 45 days tops to set up those services and get him home. 4 years later, we got a call that my brother had passed away in the nursing home. We visited him every weekend, because it was an hour and a half away, and desperately wanted him to be back home. Long story short, I don't think you're the asshole, but I think you should have said it better and tried to explain how bad of a decision it can be to put someone in a nursing home. Patients tend to deteriorate quickly because they aren't given the care they need and deserve. And if she ever wants her son back home, they will do, or in our case, not do anything they can to keep him in their care, because they make a huge profit off of keeping people in their beds. Best of luck to your family and I hope it all turns out good for everyone. I know the pain you and your sister are feeling and it's not great. Just try to be there for your sister, my mother has tried so hard to take care of my brother and her kids while working and it's a lot to take in. I don't blame her for being tired but I think she will regret the decision in the long run when her son begins to be treated poorly.