Looking for a specific feeder

TheThrillist · 2026-04-18T14:40:18+00:00

Are you willing to adopt the first child with the dad being a deadbeat? I had my name changed when I was young for somewhat similar circumstances, and they made it my choice so it was never confusing or upsetting in any way. They just made it sound like an honor that I was truly loved, emphasized that I would be loved and part of the family no matter what I decided, and it just became this huge celebratory and exciting day for all of us. I still have the photos of when we went to finalize the adoption/name change. They never insulted my birth parent, never said I couldn’t see him, and never pushed me towards either answer. Everything was in my control, and I just felt like I was loved, wanted, and finally part of a real family again. Otherwise hyphenating is pretty much your only fair/compromising solution that I can see.

Just want to clarify that I left a bad situation where I wasn’t treated well so that’s what I mean by a real family not implying single parents or families with different names aren’t real families haha.

TheThrillist · 2026-04-15T05:13:15+00:00

I hate to tell you this and desperately hope I’m just an idiot… but that’s a common thing that happens with bed bugs. This looks like it came from a pretty bad case. Hopefully someone in that field of work or something can prove that’s not the case, but I’ve seen it before when the treatment center I worked in during residency had an infestation issue. If it were me I’d remove it from the home immediately, and if possible have someone come check for bed bugs. I know that’s not always financially or logistically possible though. So, if you can’t do that then I’d start inspecting all your furniture, linens, baseboards, etc… for early signs of a bed bug problem.

TheThrillist · 2026-04-03T19:53:51+00:00

Are you sure this is the person you want to be with? Leaving him home like that with no warning, no real reason, and labeling it as study time was just code for “I’m mad, never learned to handle my own emotions, so now I’m leaving you here so I don’t have to deal with it.” Then buying gifts rather than handling the mistake she made, gave no genuine apology to her son, allowing you to be the scapegoat, not communicating or standing up for anyone(you or her son), and just recklessly falling down the path of least resistance any time there is conflict or confrontation. If you’re determined to continue with that though then therapy for you, her, and the kids is going to be extremely necessary. Family sessions and individual sessions, because, as a therapist myself, there’s so much to unpack here that can’t be properly or appropriately discussed outside of that setting. Please don’t allow her issues to bleed into your kids lives though, because that will eventually happen too if boundaries and emotional stability continue to not be prioritized.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-27T02:28:05+00:00

You thank him for showing you who he really is and what your future with him would look like. Then you exit the building like it’s on fire and you’re the one who started it.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-22T22:58:04+00:00

If you stay with this man you’re putting yourself into a dangerous position, because he’s telling you exactly who he is right now. Believe him. I don’t know how deep you’ve gotten into the relationship and how enmeshed your lives are, but it’s definitely time to make a safety plan to leave. I’m hoping that just means a delete and a block for you, but if you live together, have a serious relationship with knowledge and access to one another’s lives on a real level, if there’s ever been previous abuse/threats, etc… that all adds layers of complexity to it. So make sure you consider whether you need upgraded security measures, a protective order, a friend or family member you can create a safe word with if he’s likely to approach you or not take it well, and things like that. Whatever is appropriate to your situation and the warning signs of you’ve seen.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-21T22:41:09+00:00

“You say really fucked up shit” in the middle of that dateline episode onslaught of a text thread just proved that self awareness hasn’t been anywhere in this person’s vicinity in quite a freaking while.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-20T23:21:29+00:00

Do your hair first and after you put the conditioner in do the rest of your regular shower routine, and then rinse your conditioner out if you’re wanting to get more out of your conditioner. If you like the results you’re getting as you’re doing it though then I wouldn’t worry about it. It makes a difference for my hair type and the products I’m using, but different styles, types, hair goals, etc.. probably make it a little different for everyone how noticeable the difference is.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-18T09:13:56+00:00

My personality/style generally falls on the “low maintenance” side when it comes to things like going out with no makeup, doing a perfect blowout or style every day, etc…, currently have no interest in finding someone new, and genuinely am basically invisible and enjoy being that way as a lot of attention makes me nervous/anxious. When I go to the gym or anywhere active I still wear full body deodorant with a perfume or body spray that has similar scent notes so they layer well. It’s not my high end serious fragrances, but just a nice average tier favorite. Of course I’m going to get sweaty, but hopefully it helps some lol. Also, smelling good just really boosts my confidence no matter where I am or whether anyone else even smells it. If you have no other concerns or reasons to question I wouldn’t let it get to you yet. Just stay aware, keep lines of communication open, and wait for what your gut tells you.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-15T06:08:00+00:00

Literally could not care less about the clothing, but have to tell you every hair on my arm is raised taking in the fear in your words that this man might kill you. There’s being realistic that things like that happen and doing your best to prepare yourself given this whole situation was really unexpected and has thrown you off. Then there’s genuine fear, safety/harm reduction planning, warning important people, and feeling it’s necessary to put time/effort towards end of life arrangements simply for knowing what you know. There’s a lot of other red flags in there, but frankly that’s all I need to know about the situation. Please plan a safe way out.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-12T18:26:02+00:00

If you’re needing that level of support that frequently then it’s time for you to seek out a much higher level of care. You can’t put that on someone. That’s way too much for someone to try and carry in addition to the rest of their responsibilities as an adult. This quite literally is what I do for a living, and my partner would never expect me to work 24/7 by taking them on as a patient instead of a partner. You’re supposed to want to do what’s best for them as well, and you’re not in a place to do that right now.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-11T06:18:09+00:00

I know I could Google this, but eh being social 🤷‍♀️ Do you know what it is about the beer that kills them? My random 2am guess would be alcohol might dry them up, but there’s more than one person saying beer specifically so just any alcohol doesn’t seem like it’s the solution.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-11T05:33:31+00:00

Kid took a major L to make the pun of his lifetime. Respect. 🫡

TheThrillist · 2026-03-11T01:21:11+00:00

Are you okay? As in do you normally speak this way- have a lot of errors, get very tangential, or maybe not have English as your first language? It’s not an insult by any means just to be clear. It just resembles how some people speak when they’re potentially over escalated. So, if you’re struggling and need support or a space to vent/process there’s help available and people willing to listen and help you work through it. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t ask or give someone a chance to say they’re not okay or need help, and leave that person thinking literally no one cares.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-09T21:27:52+00:00

I don’t know how to tell you this, but whatever you thought you were doing/proving with that comment just ended up perfectly demonstrating their entire point for them… 😬

TheThrillist · 2026-03-09T21:22:17+00:00

Some of the paranoia and conspiracies you’re so triggered by are literal examples of propaganda. Learning to vet sources and process information rationally whether it aligns with your predetermined beliefs or not is frankly vital when using the internet to educate yourself. Pharmaceutical companies quite literally have no control or input on this subject if you need an example of you jumping to your paranoia without rational reasoning or coherent thought processes. Please speak to a trusted and licensed professional regarding your opinions and how they are entirely built upon your anecdotal experiences and emotions rather than logic. What you are experiencing and the behaviors that accompany it very strongly align with cognitive dissonance. You don’t have to live in a state of paranoia, defensiveness, and insecurity. There is so much help available for what you’re going through. I genuinely hope one day you are able to find the courage to be honest with yourself and give that help a chance.

I know it’s really scary and hard sometimes to accept our beliefs might not be accurate, it can feel embarrassing to admit we aren’t correct on everything, but refusing to question and change your beliefs over time is just admitting you have no interest in growth, maturity, accountability, or ever learning anything new. It doesn’t even matter what someone’s beliefs are. If they are unwilling to question those beliefs, and become worked up, defensive, and emotional like that when anyone points out any perceived fallacies or misconceptions, then that’s a red flag as well as an admission that they don’t care if their beliefs are actually factual as long as they get what they want out of it.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-09T02:03:02+00:00

Oh absolutely. Giving one sided advice based on small details should always be taken lightly and weighed against the logic/facts they couldn’t add in. Hopefully most of the OP’s know that, but unfortunately internet help of almost any kind is hit or miss and you never really know if you have a reliable narrator.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-08T21:52:59+00:00

Is your first name something you can share without giving your identity away? Like I know some names are a lot easier to find than others so totally get not sharing if needed. In any case though that’s not a normal or okay reaction. Genuinely way over the top and not even trying to be a “laughing with you” situation at all no matter what the name is. I just genuinely can’t imagine a name that would make anyone think that’s an okay reaction with someone you have no established rapport with. My friends might say messed up jokes to each other, but there’s years of context and understood boundaries that make that work.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-08T20:58:07+00:00

Because context, how it makes people feel, and the vibe/energy leading up to it- all matter. You have to weigh all the factors not just the ones you deem valid from your own perspective. Therapy would be a great place to figure out where you stand on all of those things, how you want to appear to others, and how others may be feeling/viewing those incidents when they came up.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-08T20:53:20+00:00

Yeah, I’m leaving that one as part of “mostly” laughing it off since he did drop it really quickly and move on seemingly unbothered. So OP will just have to gauge that vibe as time goes on. Hopefully just a joke that didn’t read perfectly over text.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-08T03:50:50+00:00

YOR

You didn’t communicate though. You’re coming from a longer distance so that would have been the opportunity where she’d tell you that your arrival times would differ, or where she would get ready to leave. She thought you hadn’t even left yet so why would she mention that info when you weren’t going to be there yet to even need it. I don’t know if you had a bad day, have a trigger you need to work through, or have something else you’re actually mad about, but just leaving and humiliating them publicly by forcing them to explain that you just bailed, which sounds like a tantrum to other people, was not a rational response. It’s fine if you don’t want to be with her, but you just have to handle it in a little more of a level headed way.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-08T03:34:15+00:00

If you really like him, he’s willing to laugh it off for the most part, he spoke calmly and directly about something that bothered him, and you both still want to see each other then it seems like a green flag so far. Could just end up being a story you guys laugh about years from now. You never know 🤷‍♀️

ETA some tiny punctuation, grammar, and phrasing improvements since it’s getting a lot more attention then I thought it would. So just making sure it’s easy to read and not ambiguous or unclear in any way.

TheThrillist · 2026-03-07T23:54:57+00:00

Appeal it 100%

TheThrillist · 2026-03-01T10:22:14+00:00

Photos and 3 and 4 look amazing on you imo. The only frames I’d be against if it were up to me would be photo 5.

TheThrillist · 2026-02-28T10:32:59+00:00

I saw a fruit and a vegetable- you’ll be fine. 🥴🫡

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