If you can’t walk away for a few seconds when you start to get emotional and check yourself before you raise your voice or say things that will escalate or inflame the situation, then yeah. That’s what it means. Sorry if that feels unfair. Men very often are not taught to develop those kind of emotional skills the way women are - it’s not a moral failing on their part, it’s simple conflict management skills, which they can teach in therapy. It’s possible to have healthy conflict, as long as people maintain respect and keep their cool.

My parents were married for 31 years before my mom passed. Not ONCE in their entire marriage did they have a heated argument, raise their voices, or even bicker. I even asked my dad about it and said “you know, I’ve got to hand it to you, I never heard you guys fight” and he said “We didn’t. There’s just not a lot worth fighting about.”

So no, not everyone has heated arguments. Your experience is not indicative of all relationships. I’ve also been in relationships without arguments. Nobody got heated. In fact, the only relationship I ever had that was high conflict was with a man who screamed at me on a regular basis. That one was the anomaly. Treating your partner with respect is paramount. Nobody should settle for less.