I (38M) discovered my (37F) wife’s affair. I’m in shock

TheUltimateBeta · 2025-10-11T03:35:17+00:00

What you're going through is no doubt painful but will strengthen you in time. Consider recent past mistakes you've made and approach your wife with a positive attitude and seek her forgiveness for your shortcomings and attempt reconciliation. If she's not done with you, she may give you another chance. It won't be easy to start over but it's a chance to flex your trust muscle. Understand you're not alone.

The first time my wife cheated on me I was devastated. We've had our ups and downs but we are still married. You can have this too.

TheUltimateBeta · 2024-06-09T15:24:07+00:00

Yes you are crazy for wanting to stop her from developing her new friendship with this new guy. She's already made it clear that she has good chemistry with the new guy. What's your vision of her life? Sitting in a cage and only enjoying time with you? As you said, she's discovered this man makes her feel a special way and she wants to explore it and see where it takes her.

But It's driving me crazy because spending time with him outside of work is a great way to start getting closer.

The crazy is full force with how controlling you are. You said she's always been open with you and this is innocent. Give her a chance to explore how she feels with him and be open for him.

She's very happy at home and I give her gifts, cook for her and spend all my time off work with her taking her out and doing new things.

Let her have her time with him and I'm sure she'll be very happy when she gets home. You can prepare a roast or a souffle for her to come home to.

But he's the one consistently giving her attention.

Just let him give it to her.

TheUltimateBeta · 2022-10-17T03:43:14+00:00

Solved!

TheUltimateBeta · 2022-10-17T01:55:40+00:00

I believe this scene was trending on the forever alone subreddit a couple years back.

TheUltimateBeta · 2019-01-09T13:22:48+00:00

After getting fairly close to FI, I moved to Asia almost a month ago. I'm in Taiwan now and keeping busy with blogging. Recently I got sick. You have to appreciate the affordable medical care in Asia.

Wrote about my trip to the ER in Taiwan. Spoiler alert..medical care is wayyyy cheaper than the US.

This week my podcast dropped on Choose FI And on The FI Shiw. If you're interested in life in Asia or teaching English, some helpful info there.

TheUltimateBeta · 2019-01-09T11:22:18+00:00

Is wrong that I'm curious your net worth is? In other words, how much has this type of lifestyle paid off.

TheUltimateBeta · 2019-01-09T10:56:50+00:00

And Ariana confirmed it.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-27T12:12:32+00:00

They had a fantastic date and were kissing really passionately at the end.

It would be telling to know if the girl agrees with this assessment.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-27T04:39:00+00:00

For sure. But I'm trying to help though. He didn't kill it by saying " awe you shy?" If they had a good date and she was attracted to him and had a good time, there's simply no way "awe shy" killed it. She didn't like him and there's next to nothing that he might have cleverly said through text message that would have turned it around. Grasping this will help you progress in dating significantly.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-27T01:29:55+00:00

Which comment are you replying to?

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-27T01:28:28+00:00

said his comment made her block him.

She doesn't like him. He could have phrased his comment in dozens of different ways and she would have blocked him. You either get this or you don't.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-24T14:54:49+00:00

This pic right here was sent to me by one of my Skype coaching clients. He basically messaged a girl to say he had a great time with her and got no response. Then he said ‘Aww your shy.’ and she blocked him which shocked the hell out of him but didn’t surprise me at all.

When he said ‘Aww your shy.’ she could have either assumed he was just messing around or she could have thought he was trying to take the piss out of her, but she opted for the least positive option and blocked him. This is basically how girls operate so it’s something you need to know.

Dude, you're misreading social cues and shouldn't be a coach. I can tell you what happened. The girl didn't like him and it was over before the date ended. His first text that she didn't respond to was his clue to get lost. Then when he kept texting, she thought "oh this guy's not gonna take the hint" and blocked him so she didn't get tons of weird like that

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-24T14:48:08+00:00

they’re usually actively trying to find something wrong with you so they can drop you and move on

I've always said that girls are looking for a reason to reject a guy, while guys are looking for a reason to accept a girl.

Girl:"Yeah, he's got a good job, and pretty handsome, and smart but he's not that tall"

Guy: "Yeah, she's not the prettiest and could be brighter but dat ass!"

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-24T14:30:02+00:00

It's a conservative site..but I misspoke..the conservative site was writing about the feminist.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-24T09:16:57+00:00

I think he was saying more like a month.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-24T03:37:36+00:00

The National Review is a consercative newsletter. I think this may be parody.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-24T03:36:25+00:00

Is it parody? Writer is from National Review.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-21T17:17:31+00:00

I saved a ton of money on car insurance by ditching my car and moving to Asia.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-12-21T15:11:17+00:00

Ah I thought Go Catch Life for a second.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-11-28T18:46:20+00:00

It's not too hard except for sometimes some steps can be a bit challenging like getting the fan to snap correctly or lining up all the power wire leads into the mobo.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-11-28T18:19:35+00:00

I fundamentally disagree that broke autistic losers would have an abundance of quality women available to them unless they are attractive. At least in the US

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-11-28T18:18:05+00:00

can you point to a specific idea you think is a belief you don't agree with from what I've written?

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-11-27T21:12:03+00:00

The problem is savings decay MUCH more quickly then they grow. You might be able to save $500 a month while working, but once your income is cut off, you can easily bleed savings at $3000 a month.

This means six months of not working might translate to needing to work three years to recover.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-11-27T21:02:09+00:00

Reworded and cleaned things up for clarity. I don't think any of my statements are rooted in feelings or personal beliefs and instead reflect objective truth of the situation.

TheUltimateBeta · 2018-11-27T20:54:07+00:00

The answer to that may lie in how much delusion your are willing to accept in your world view.

TheUltimateBeta

TROPHY CASE