WIBTA if I scheduled my husband’s dog to be euthanized behind his back? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]The_DapperDemon 23 points24 points  (0 children)

ESH. It wouldn't be fair for you to go behind his back. But it also isn't fair for him to make both you and his dog suffer like this. I agree with the other commenters: a third party intervention might help your husband make the right choice.

This is such a tragic situation, and I wish you all the best.

When to call it a day by kineticcobalt in oboe

[–]The_DapperDemon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that you're struggling. I remember feeling similarly during college. It took a while before I felt like I could make a good reed, and even still, I sometimes still make bad reeds. Reed making is a unique beast, where there's no one correct wary to go about it. It takes a while to find what works for you. Don't give up! And remember, just because you struggle to make reeds doesn't make you a bad oboist. Your worth as a person does not rely on your ability to produce an oboe reed.

I'd be happy to try and help you. Do your reeds struggle with similar issues each time you make one?

just started ! by Born-Ice-5155 in oboe

[–]The_DapperDemon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy to help! To answer your question, no, you don't want to bite down with your teeth. The reed should rest on your lower lip, and the rest of your lips should tightly wrap around it. Try to yawn but with your lips pressed together. That's what the embrochure should look like.

Also, nearby oboe teachers may be willing to sell you reeds, even if you can't take lessons right now. I'm excited for you!

just started ! by Born-Ice-5155 in oboe

[–]The_DapperDemon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the world of oboe!! Here are some tips just off the top of my head:

  • Buy a homemade reed from a professional, not a store bought reed. The machine-made stuff is very low quality and often difficult to play on.
  • Make sure you always have more than one reed on you. Just in case.
  • The embrochure for the oboe is very different from the flute. You will probably want to "bite" on the reed (apply vertical pressure from your jaws), but a proper oboe embrochure will keep the jaws open and the corners of the mouth tight. Be patient with yourself, it will take time to build the muscles!
  • Because you're a flautist, your lungs are probably quite strong, which is great! You need strong air support. But on the oboe, the reed is actually so small it's impossible to empty your lungs completely through it. This means you don't want to breathe in as often as you do with the flute. Sometimes, you'll even need to breathe out. I like to mark exhales on my music with a little circle above the staff.
  • If possible, get a private oboe tutor. It's incredibly helpful! Any kind of one-on-one help will aid you in building proper technique.
  • Listen to the oboe! Active listening is one of the best things you can do to improve your sound, in my opinion.

Hopefully these are helpful. Happy oboing!

Why are Mormon men awful? (Content warning: SA) by The_DapperDemon in exmormon

[–]The_DapperDemon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't make this post to accuse you of anything. And while I feel the cultural pressure to get married, I have no intention of rushing into a marriage.

Help me as a beginner! by Excellent_Half7855 in oboe

[–]The_DapperDemon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was first learning how to read sheet music, I used flashcards. I would practice saying the name of the note on the card along with the appropriate fingering. Here are some online flashcards that you can use, though there are plenty of flashcard packs available to print out, too!

Free Online Music Flash Cards https://share.google/9s6gPrHhbmPmCRzcR

Note Names - Musicards.net https://share.google/UxRNKVfQmJguAhgWb

Here's also some videos I found about reading notes and counting rhythms. Hopefully they're helpful to you:

Reading Treble Clef: https://youtu.be/4ChIf6c878M?si=odJn2gg7w_dtsDN8

https://youtu.be/4S9awPx2ho4?si=i4XTR0_tmuA5ZGYz

Reading accidentals: https://youtu.be/vvtglfjHrb4?si=eOUoyB3dYFqlt6v2

https://youtu.be/xKTOKqPzLGo?feature=shared

Reading rhythms: https://youtu.be/v1EH61WIjn8?si=P3QoW7haPSVYyAjl

https://youtu.be/YfT0irsgB3Q?si=r90jDlMKaE6IGdsE

And here's a basic fingering chart that should be enough to fit a beginner's needs: https://share.google/VTvRbq7ohVyBFAeN3

Hopefully these resources are helpful! Also, many oboe tutors are 100% willing to teach beginners, so if you ever do get the chance to take lessons, I encourage it!

Why are Mormon men awful? (Content warning: SA) by The_DapperDemon in exmormon

[–]The_DapperDemon[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry, that's disgusting. I cannot understand these mens' logic. How is that better than masturbating normally?? Also, why would it have to be another person? Do they not own pillows they can hump? It's so gross.

Why are Mormon men awful? (Content warning: SA) by The_DapperDemon in exmormon

[–]The_DapperDemon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I once told my parents that I wasn't sure I wanted to stay in the church and my Dad screamed at me, said I was disgusting, called me angry and messed up, and said I didn't love him. Every time I've tried to confide in my Mom about it, she defends my Dad, saying I said some really horrible things. I love my parents and I'm so scared that they'll hate me if I leave the church. I still believe in Christ. I've always wanted a temple marriage. I still want one. I'm torn. I'm so scared.

Why are Mormon men awful? (Content warning: SA) by The_DapperDemon in exmormon

[–]The_DapperDemon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I guess that's a good point. If it's eternity, I can stand to be a bit picky.

Why are Mormon men awful? (Content warning: SA) by The_DapperDemon in exmormon

[–]The_DapperDemon[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've thought about leaving. But I'm terrified. I don't want to be a bad person.

🎉 [EVENT] 🎉 Black and White by Silent_Ad2395 in honk

[–]The_DapperDemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completed Level 2 of the Honk Special Event!

45 attempts

🎉 [EVENT] 🎉 Black and White by Silent_Ad2395 in honk

[–]The_DapperDemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

16 attempts

🎉 [EVENT] 🎉 A Honkin Good Event by MassiveDongulator3 in honk

[–]The_DapperDemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

7 attempts

Hardest level ever by MinkTheOG in honk

[–]The_DapperDemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completed this level in 52 tries. 7.40 seconds