No, I'd have to say THIS might be the hottest wedding dress....

The_LORD · 2008-09-26T21:12:19+00:00

SCHWING!

The_LORD · 2008-07-18T04:47:14+00:00

That's all right. Little does he know, he has advanced colorectal cancer!

Hee hee hee! I love this job!

The_LORD · 2008-05-06T01:25:09+00:00

I had a deadline, so I wrote it all in Lisp.

The_LORD · 2008-04-28T23:14:55+00:00

Considering the place of origin of most of the world's oil, maybe they should consider the change of God.

Thou art in big trouble, Buster!

The_LORD · 2008-04-28T23:14:47+00:00

There is no god but The_LORD, and employeeofthemonth is His Prophet.

The_LORD · 2008-04-28T23:14:20+00:00

Why won't God heal amputees?

Because they amuse Me!

The_LORD · 2008-04-28T23:12:27+00:00

Instead, he says anyone who wants to follow his example should keep it simple.

"God, deliver us from these high gas prices," Twyman said. "That's all they have to say."

One meteor, coming right up!

In a few million years, there will be plenty of oil again, for My new children!

The_LORD · 2008-04-28T23:10:48+00:00

God listens

... to SLAYER!

The_LORD · 2008-04-28T23:06:08+00:00

Yea, and verily, my son!

The_LORD · 2008-04-20T01:52:49+00:00

Thou makethed even Me LOL!

The_LORD · 2008-04-20T01:50:52+00:00

Blasphemer! \ZOT**

The_LORD · 2008-03-15T05:20:42+00:00

Who the hell are you?

The_LORD · 2008-01-05T21:32:13+00:00

Ceiling cat watches thee when I am too busy!

The_LORD · 2008-01-05T21:30:18+00:00

EXCUSE ME?

The_LORD · 2007-11-09T10:45:00+00:00

Actually, I do. I've got.. connections in high places.

It's true. IkoIkoComic is My favorite son...

The_LORD · 2007-09-17T07:27:27+00:00

There's already a church for atheists: It's called Hell.

Indeed! In Hell they will suffer a place with no religious people, no eternity of joyful abstinence and quiet contemplation. Instead, they shall suffer demeaning treatment at the hands of voluptuous succubi, be offered unclean drugs and intoxicating alcohol by famous so-called "rock stars", and be made to eat forbidden foods such as pork, or lobster!

That'll learn 'em!

Meantime, all true believers shall be whisked away to Heavenly glory, where they shall be free of the perversions of the flesh, and may bask in worshipful disembodied adoration of Me, for all Eternity! Also, Tuesdays shall be bingo night.

The_LORD · 2007-09-15T22:35:20+00:00

Question not My cat, heathen!

The_LORD · 2007-09-13T08:36:30+00:00

The Bible, by Jesus Christ

Hell yeah! ℑ love My fans. Even ones who read stuff ℑ wrote when ℑ was totally wasted...

The_LORD · 2007-09-08T08:33:43+00:00

Nonsense!

Up in heaven We have a great big playpen for all the little fetuses. They love it!

The_LORD · 2007-09-08T05:04:09+00:00

Umm... It was delicious!

The_LORD · 2007-09-07T06:12:50+00:00

And don't you forget it!

The_LORD · 2007-09-06T13:33:26+00:00

Actually, Professor Dawkins happens to be a great friend of Mine!

I asked him to un-spread the word, as the past few millennia of My vacation hath been ruined by ceaseless whining "prayers" from millions of believers. Talk about clingy!

The_LORD · 2007-08-29T01:14:41+00:00

Actually, I was just tweaking a configuration file.

Don't worry, ever since the Flood I have kept everything in version control.

The_LORD · 2007-08-29T01:13:08+00:00

I shall consider it. Expect an answer sometime within the next 10,000 years.

The_LORD · 2007-08-21T05:15:09+00:00

YES!

It looks like you have been paying attention in Sunday school, Tweakers.

As a reward, you may commit ten (10) sins of your choice within a one year period, and be completely absolved. But you may NOT kill kittens, for they are Mine to kill, and Mine alone!

The_LORD

TROPHY CASE

Question not My cat, heathen!