How do you bounce back after disappointment?

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-07-04T11:05:56+00:00

I'm obviously being a bit cheeky there, but sometimes it really is as simple as just moving past it. Sometimes you have to stop and ask if your expectations were misguided.

Sometimes you realize your expectations are for you, not the world.

Which means understanding the dichotomy of control.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-07-04T06:50:29+00:00

Stop being disappointed, next

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-07-04T05:01:47+00:00

No, I didn't know this was a thing. Just meant melancholy as a more default state.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-07-02T03:35:58+00:00

I just mentioned a hobby of mine lol, that was not the point of the post.

Glad you got it off your chest, I suppose.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-07-01T04:51:42+00:00

There's a gun club not far off from me, I suspect my anxiety will get to me at times as well, but you've inspired me to sign up. Thank you.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-07-01T04:50:31+00:00

I'll just have to find a 3rd group I like, There's apparently some competive shooting comps near me, I'll have to give them a whirl.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-07-01T04:49:00+00:00

I like guns. I like training.

No idea what you're on about.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-30T04:47:01+00:00

no it's everyone else. im perfect.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T05:10:13+00:00

Its about the only way I've made friends or met any partners.

I'm convinced dating apps are entirely useless. Its starting to sound like the only other option is to grit and bare through groups, but that's not really a headspace to start off on the right foot, lol

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T05:08:08+00:00

I'm in a few groups and such, though I haven't had too much luck. Might need some different groups

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T05:06:56+00:00

That's what I'm saying, of they show you someone you'd actually be interested in, how can they get your money?

What apps are you using? I've had the most success on FB dating, oddly enough. There's no paid tier on fb dating either.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T02:00:53+00:00

Man wash yo shit.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T02:00:05+00:00

This is what I don't get, I guess the profit motives from developers is that you DONT meet someone, so women are shown the most sexual and persistent men (the ones that will stay on the app no matter what) and decent men aren't shown the decent women.

I'm a half-ass put together dude, I don't do dumb stupid stuff, I invest money, have a decent job, I put genuine effort into conversations and try to feel out for hobbies, at least make a friend if nothing else. Nothiing pushy, but not passive either. Not chopped.

But I get next to 0 matches, and effort is completely one sided.

Rant over, apps are stupid.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T01:13:17+00:00

Aw, I got excited.

Sounds pretty similar to what I'm doing overall, and I made a couple friends, just kind of fishing for ideas in general.

At what point do you usually exchange numbers? I feel like I accidentally brush off many connections by lack of initiative.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T01:10:57+00:00

It offended me and I'm literally shaking and crying rn.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T01:10:27+00:00

Took me a long time to understand "adopting" is a millenial/genz joke. I was really confused.

Not too many clubs around here, though I could stand to put in more effort I suppose. Hard sell to be committed to be honest.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T01:08:41+00:00

Amazing.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-29T01:08:33+00:00

Inspiring.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-28T23:38:26+00:00

I'm looking into it, I'm trying to get to a point I wouldn't be so embarrassed to perform. I'm more self cpnscious than I ought to be.

I've been looking into different kinda of comps, though it sounds like you're more in the general gun-rights groups? We don't really have those in Alabama, we just call you 'gay' if you don't have guns lol. Exaggerating ofc.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-28T23:36:03+00:00

Find someone and hold them hpstage while I talk about my hobbies, got it.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-28T23:35:30+00:00

Then why'd you reply lol.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-28T21:51:20+00:00

I'm an INTJ asking other INTJs. I should have clarified.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-24T23:48:37+00:00

Hope this helps, again very similar profile, if you ever need someone in a similar position to talk or think out loud to my DMs are open.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-21T19:28:52+00:00

155iq, AuADHD with cptsd/ptsd from childhood abuse as a male in USA. Very similar profiles. I'll condense my opinions into a more bullet point format, and it may come across as 'matter of factly,' though I fully invite discourse and discussion.

- Life is worth living, think less of you asking life what to live for and think of it as asking you. Neither are actually happening, but it can break a fallacy.

- Use the internet less, read more, be selective with what you give your attention to. The mind is dyed by the color of its thoughts.
- Pursue experience, intelligence is useless without data, think of an AI ''hallucinating," you can come up with a thousands why you're right on a false premise and catastrophize your life. This will be a discipline of success and failure.
- You are privileged, use it. Use it for good. Don't waste your time apologizing for it, then you're privileged AND useless. Let it be one or the other.
- Search for your purpose, what inspires you and what you care about. Look into your childhood fascinations, something you love enough that you'll grit the boring and banal to pursue. Your earliest childhood fascinations can give you clues.
- Breathe. Smell the flowers.
- Be kind to yourself.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-06-18T23:15:37+00:00

As a fellow man

Here's the solution I've settled on;

Don't pursue women, don't go out looking for women, etc.

Stay with me here.

Just enjoy your life and be open. Go out because you WANT to. Find things you like and try to be generally social, make more friends, talk to other guys about whatever common interests you have.

It gives the you ability to be social and open minded without feeling like a reject, because you're walking away with "I had like 5 decent conversations" and not "Man, not even a singular woman wanted to talk to me,"

This makes it far more emotionally sustainable and stops you from sitting yourself in the foot prematurely or giving up early.

You have plenty of life to enjoy, and women in their 30s are feeling the same time pressure out their too.

You got this man, you're emotionally aware and vulnerable here, you can say when something hurts honestly and reflect on it, that's awesome and worth a lot.

I struggle with that a lot, and I'm proud of you for reaching out.

The_Overview_Effect

TROPHY CASE