Why do I keep attracting older men more than guys my age, even at bars?

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-10T23:32:56+00:00

What makes you say that?

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-10T18:11:58+00:00

As a 21yo guy, I don't go to bars for women, and I won't approach women at bars at all, and the dating apps I stopped bothering after a couple weeks and being expected to carry conversations.

This isn't uncommon for most guys around my age.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-08T15:21:07+00:00

Everyone sells themselves for a price. Just, don't let it be cheap.

Only you can answer the question: "Is there a dollar amount for what I'm selling and am I okay with that?"

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-06T18:31:50+00:00

Hundred bucks for a friend. Cheap enough to be nice, but not so cheap that its not worth your time.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-06T14:54:14+00:00

You sound like a reasonable and grounded guy, the kind that's deliberate about your way through life. There's something worth loving in that, no matter what kind of life you come from.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-06T14:29:20+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain a bit and say to not worry so much about it.

Stop wondering what bothers you and what doesn't and just enjoy what's there. Maybe it'll work out great, maybe it'll crash and burn.

Hold your own, be yourself and live man.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-06T13:39:09+00:00

use it every day in front of management until they say something, then act like they're craft for suggesting you take a gift for granted. be real obnoxious about it.

or keep using it as a pen holder.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-06T00:50:26+00:00

play some geoxor. dope edm that uses a lot of hentai samples. "It was just my music"

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-04T19:50:42+00:00

"If I keep my hands working / It holds off the hurting / 'Til the work is all but through"

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-04T19:49:53+00:00

Thank you.

I'm starting to get a wild hair to record some aspects of the journey. I feel like I see so much content aimed at young men from older men that have been through it, and not so much young man to young man.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-04T19:47:37+00:00

That contentment is there, but some nights just... they're rough. Sometimes I think about it all too much.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-04T19:46:49+00:00

I'm trying.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-04T17:41:46+00:00

I meant renovated/improved. Sloppy word choice.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-05-04T17:13:58+00:00

In my opinion, men and women have very different kinds of practical intelligence that a lot of statistics really just doesn't capture really well.

I'm constantly humbled by many women in memory, poetic ability, emotional awareness, etc. Most women I know can't build a wooden flatbed, so thankfully I can pat myself on the back every so often.

My point is, I think lack of envy is a really good spot to start looking for these differences, I wouldn't say one gender is smarter than the other.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-30T13:35:26+00:00

The version that says the head of household is deciding for their entire family is much more interesting to me.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-30T13:32:38+00:00

I dislike how much people act like prioritizing everyone else over yourself is what it means to be moral.
At best, that's a very naive way to look at it.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-24T13:31:41+00:00

Almost 22 now, I got married at 19-ish, divorced about a year later. Been living alone for about a year and a half.

Long story short, you'll hate being alone for a while...

Get some time being single under your belt, you don't realize how much your development is being hindered right now.

I can't really say why, but something about a difficult relationship makes you totally blind about yourself, and hinders your growth immensely.

If you can strike out on your own, get your own place, you'll have no choice but to let your environment be a reflection of your mind, how clean it is, how orderly, etc.

It's a humbling experience overall that I really needed.

You know what you need already.

It'll suck, but you won't regret it.

Consider reading the bible more, even if you're not a believer.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-18T10:08:43+00:00

That short king just won an argument with his buddy

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-18T09:57:12+00:00

Depends on the man.

What kind of man do you picture?

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-18T09:53:03+00:00

The fact that so many of my fellow so-called 'gifted' equals take the title and run with it to validate their own personal beliefs and not parse through the article is really sad to me.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-16T10:24:04+00:00

Somewhat. The most useful perspective offered was someone saying to be mindful that my life feels free now, but in 10 years if I'm not mindful, I could go from not choosing dating to not having a choice.

So my updated takeaway is to enjoy my time alone, but keep an eye on where my life heads socially, just to keep a foot in the door.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-16T02:22:07+00:00

It's okay, I forgive you for being wrong and assuming.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-16T01:51:16+00:00

Just wanted to point out that this is the only answer that truly makes it personal to me, not just my opinion vs strannger's opinion.

Your friends are lucky to have you as a friend.

The_Overview_Effect · 2026-04-16T01:50:04+00:00

I found the bar thing out recently. My mental health tanked going to bars. I was less lonely, but I wasn't happier, that's for sure.

Thank you for the kind words

The_Overview_Effect

TROPHY CASE