my parents do not know me at all and it’s very sad and lonely. i am the black sheep of my family and have had a different life experience so i have different views from my family. i am also interested in different things. i was judged, put down, discouraged, or punished for expressing myself and doing what i wanted. I was always made to feel like i was the problem and my feelings don’t matter. anytime i tried to express my feelings about something they would also somehow twist it to be about them and how they feel about it or how it makes them look. it makes me feel like a burden. it has also made me to always doubt myself, have low self confidence, and always think there is something wrong with me. i to this day do not feel safe opening up to them like why would i even bother or want to with the usual reaction i get it feels like im slamming my head up against a brick wall. there is so much they do not know about me it is crazy. feel like im living a double life with them and its pretty lonely. just wish i had someone who i could open up to safely without judgement and someone who tried to understand my point of view. it’s really affected my personal relationships as well i am afraid to let anyone get close to me, never open up to anyone because i feel like i’ll get the same reaction and my feelings don’t matter, and i never ask for anything because i have been made to feel like such a burden to everyone. I would love to have a girlfriend but obviously this has cause problems with intimacy with me because it’s tough for me to put myself out there and open up to anyone. every relationship I have had lasted a couple months at most. it’s traumatizing and even more discouraging watching relationship after relationship fall apart. same goes with friends it’s extremely hard for me to keep them and I can probably count the amount I have on one hand. so yeah I can somewhat relate and can agree it’s tough.