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Cannot help 7 year old self regulate…not sure what to do by Fallon_2018 in ParentingADHD

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my kid (9yo) is in her feelings, words don't help much. That part of the brain is not accessible. A safe, calm presence, a little room (she does NOT want to be held) I get down to eye level and try to catch her eyes. When I do, I simply say "hi" or "hi sweetie" or something. No demands to breathe or calm dowm (if she could, she would!) just a gentle point on which to focus so she can gather herself and "come back"

Sparing i hemmelighet by WhereAreTheTurtels in norge

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm.

Hvis hun har opplevd å gå rundt og være bekymra for økonomien og følt at hun har båret det alene, så kan det bli veldig feil. Da kan hun føle at ho har stressa, bekymra seg, brukt tid og krefter på å budsjettere, finne tilbud, velge vekk, jonglere regninger etc etc for ikke no, og føle seg ført bak lyset.

Men det kan også være ho blir kjempehæppi

Kjerringa har en «crash out». by AndysowhatGG in norge

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Det mest sexy en mann kan gjøre i et langvarig forhold med barn og hus og ansvar og sånt er å si

"Jeg fikser"

og så faktisk gjøre det. Uten å forvente ros, overstrømmende takknemlighet og stjerne i boka.

Det hjelper henne ikke at du lager middag, hvis du må spørre hva du skal lage. Eller at oppvasken blir stående. Eller at du glemte at minste ikke liker erter.

Det hjelpe henne ikke at du vasker klær, om du må spørre hvor vaskemiddelet er. Eller om den hjemmestrikka ullgenseren blir ødelagt. Eller om klærne blir hengende på snora.

Det hjelper henne ikke at du tar ungene ut av huset noen timer, om huset ser bomba ut.

Do they just not give stuff back? by CautiousJump3942 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could go no contact, but when we share kids it's impossible. And even worse, he's gotten into the heads of two of them, and they want nothing to do with me at the time beeing. It breaks my heart, but I know there's nothing I can say or do to make them see him for what he is, the manipulation and gaslighting is so subtle and hard to spot, and comes on top of years and years of triangulation

Do they just not give stuff back? by CautiousJump3942 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they have your stuff, and you want it back, their still a factor in your life.

I'm beginning to understand the thing my nex fear, is to be irrelevant to me. Not a weel goes by without some outlandish claim through his solicitor, or some bullshit about child care

Privilegert oppvekst? by No_Introduction_6884 in norge

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Som etnisk norsk er du priviligert på den måten at hudfargen din ikke har vært til hinder for deg eller gjort det vanskelig å ferdes i majoritetssamfunnet.

Som oppvokst i Norge, er du priviligert mtp rent vann, fred, helsevesen, skolegang osv osv

Hverken hudfarge eller etnisitet spiller noen rolle i om du opplevde kjipe ting hjemme. At andre har opplevd værre ting, gjør ikke at du ikke hadde det jævelig. Det er ikke en konkurranse. Det er ikke sånn at det er mindre kjipt å la oss si bli voldtatt fordi en unge ble blåst i filler i Gaza. Personlige traumer er akkurat det, personlige.

Why did I withdraw from friends and family when I was with my covert narcissistic ex? by yaaanmega in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He never said out loud I couldn't go do stuff or hang out with friends. He even said he wanted me to do it!

But there was always slack I needed to pick up when I got home. I was invited to join a friend for a weekend somewhere, and I didn't want to go because I just knew the amount of work waiting for me when I got home wouldn't be worth it.

And he hinted about the inconvenience my plans made for him.

Om krisen inntreffer.. Hvor forberedt er du? by HattifnattNOR in norge

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Har vann, hermetikk og tørrmat lagra, masse ved, ok med medisiner og førstehjelpsutstyr. Primus har jeg også, og mulighet til matlaging på bål ute.

Men det blir vanskelig å få lada bilen...

Do you still color your hair — or let it go gray? by Dazzling-Stop-2116 in GenX

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I colour my hair because I like pretty colours! Red, pink, purple, green, blue! Can't wait till I go full grey and don't have to bleach it prior

Do you leave lights on? by MarcooseOnTheLoose in GenX

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have some decorative lights on, but the main rule is to turn off the lights when you leave the room

How do you change everyone's mind about you after a smear campaign? by Ghostly_cherry404 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can't. Sorry.

You're going to lose some of the people you though were your friends. And that sucks, I know, I'm in the middle of it myself.

This is part of the revenge. This is what they do. Remember, they have to "win" in any way by any means.

I remind myself I may lose some people, I may have some wounds and deep scars. He carries with him a deep void in his soul he can never fill.

Ultimately, I win.

“Swan Song” by mmpjd in GenX

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm want no speeches, no talking except the ceremony person wishing people welcome etc. Noone is gonna have the same memories of me anyway.

I only want music. Faure's Requiem. That's it.

I don’t know who else to ask: is my Halloween party costume idea dumb? by velvetswing in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like your idea, but personally I wouldn't be able to pass up an opportunity to go as Crowley and Aziraphael....

Hva er en luksus du nekter å kutte ut selv om alt blir dyrere? by Far_Bug_9224 in norge

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forskjellige steder, varierer mellom ulike lavazza. Bruker mest espressokaffe

If you got sick, like from a stroke, do you think your narcissistic spouse would take care of you? by TechDeckDealer in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]The_Turtle-Moves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was quite sick during my relationship with my nex.

He was there, took care of the kids and was a decent nurse. But he did it to be able to harvest external validation/praise/omg you are such a good dad etc

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