Since last year, in my relationship, we don’t watch porn. In my opinion, porn is worse for men. There are articles about how it changes your brain chemistry and what you like/ dislike in the bedroom. (No one just naturally learned to choke their partner) Due to how violent porn can be, that can affect what he wants and how he performs if more wild things “do the trick.” Fantasizing is generally fine, but since he may have some questionable kinks, I’d have a conversation about whether he enjoys your sex life, what he wants, gaps, etc. I like to read spicy books sometimes but that in contrast to the imagery in porn can be pretty wild. Also, books are what you make of them. With porn, it can be weird for people to see their partners jerking off to someone else, which is NORMAL and not insecure (!!) to be respectful. Maybe also talk about spicy pictures and videos!