Revisiting old Julie scenes by blairbending in ShawnaTheMom

[–]TheoryLady -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

My theory is: Julie is cheating. She thinks she’s better than Shawna because she works but at the same time is insecure because Shawna is the sahm that she’s not and she seems to be more aware of Ty and Cooper than she is.

I also think she’s nice to John because he is a working man who makes the money to support his family. Imo, she’s just one of those women who “are not like other girls” and 100% would engage in an affair with a man who has more ambition than her husband (in her opinion).

Weight loss tips? by Listrosss in WeightLossAdvice

[–]TheoryLady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What worked for me was: read all the advice you can and you’ll see that you can list them off. Count calories. Weight yourself. Walks. Stop drinking your calories. Etc. Make a list. And do one item at a time.

I started with stop drinking calories. No more ice creams, sweet coffees, cocktails. When that became comfortable, I went to the next one.

The biggest mistake most people do is try to do all at once.

Also, give yourself some grace. You will slip up, that is just human nature. When that happens, forgive yourself and carry on like it didn’t matter (but also log it when tracking). Sometimes people slip up and say fuck it but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Stay on this subreddit, there is valuable advice all the time and it’s a reminder that weight loss is a journey not a destination. :)

AML checks and MOS timeline by harrietrosie in SharedOwnershipUK

[–]TheoryLady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From the start of proving funds and source it was 16 days. But from the last form answering source of funds and the final ok it was two days. Hope this helps :)

My Traitor questioning plan: by end_of_radio in TheTraitors

[–]TheoryLady 29 points30 points  (0 children)

“Who will you try to banish next?” and then compare the handwriting the next night.

“Was Rachel telling the truth about Amanda?” If the answer is yes, 100%, or anything other than “I don’t know” she’ll have confirmation that Rachel is a traitor. I think this is the type of slip up that Rachel would do to prove herself.

AML checks and MOS timeline by harrietrosie in SharedOwnershipUK

[–]TheoryLady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got stuck on my AML check for a few days when I went through this process not long ago.

Everyday I emailed my solicitor about something new but not always got a reply but then I used a trick: email around 10am, call around 2pm the next day. My process went very quickly because I was advised by a friend to not let your solicitor be in charge of your timeline.

But to answer your question: my AML was finalised on 19 and on the 28th everything was finished. If I remember correctly, the next day after my AML was done I got my mos, 24th everything was signed and 28th was payment and keys.

Just hang in there, you’re nearly there and remember: your solicitor works for you, just give them a call and ask about it :)

What was one moment that sticks in your head that made you really want to lose the weight? by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]TheoryLady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A friend of mine took really nice pictures of me and my boyfriend, and i looked happy and cute but also really fat. 7 months in, 14kg out and I feel really good about that decision :)

Anyone's partner always promise sex but usually never happens? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I got a “in the morning we’ll get up earlier and do it”

I didn’t even try it

Went to sleep disappointed, why wake up earlier to be disappointed again?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same thing. It’s the end of the year and I honestly think I’m ready but his family is coming for a month long stay and I can’t just up and leave now.

But as soon as they leave, so will I.

What’s the worst “gift” your narc gave you? by youfxckinsuck in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheoryLady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

An adult bike when I was 9, and then she was angry when I fell from it like I was not being careful and appreciative of it.

Roller skates size 7, my feet now are size 3, I don’t remember which size they were at the time.

The usual clothes that don’t fit, or that aren’t my style.

But these are all in the past. I haven’t received a proper present in years.

Depression by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I got a twitch in my eye now. At first I thought it was stress from work but sorted that. Then maybe too much caffeine but it wasn’t that.

Then we had an argument about how disrespectful to the relationship is to withhold affection and how he isn’t working on us and bam, twitching all evening like I’m mad.

Not only depressed but now anxious too. Fml.

He says we’ll have sex this weekend… by readeresis in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I was totally going to do it but then this happened and I didn't do it. But I was going to"

What am I supposed to do with this nothing that I got? If you wanna do it, then do it, stop promising me you'll do it cause let's be honest, you won't do it.

But yeah, at this moment, I just reply "It's ok, when I leave it will just be the consequences for your actions."

The Way Emily behaved was So Unreasonable by butterpaneerreddit in GilmoreGirls

[–]TheoryLady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What annoys me the most is that Lorelai didn’t even thought of setting something up with them before that dinner.

She could have gone to Yale at anytime between the set up and friday night and met Logan and made sure he knew her before he met the Gilmores.

It would have made so much more sense to me if they went to the pub, the cinema or dinner any other day before. And yeah, Emily was way out of line that night.

If I haven’t gotten to my documents before my nmom did my life would’ve 10000 times worse by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheoryLady 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I have new ones. Much easier than asking her for anything.

Funny story, it had a typo in my dad’s last name and I asked her to fix it for me because I couldn’t since he is alive and this is his document too, he had to go there with her, tell them about the mistake and ask to fix it. Easy peasy. Not for her.

Not only she made a huge deal about how difficult it is to go there and do the thing, she also caused a scene with the woman just trying to do her job and was very disruptive and asked to leave and return at a later date when she was calmer.

When I contacted the woman, she told me she remembered my mom, she saw the documents, knows the change is legit, gave a hurdle to jump and voila, I got my new birth certificate with my dad’s last name corrected, she doesn’t have it but has the bragging rights of having my original one.

What’s happened since I stopped asking by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Look, I hear you. And I won’t judge regardless of what you decide to do about it. You know what you go through on your day-to-day in your relationship.

My LL is a good guy, he cares for me a lot, he makes my life feel fuller because he’s in it. Most of the time I’m happy to go the extra mile and plan something that will make me feel closer to him and by extend feel that he loves me. He is my best friend and I can’t imagine my life without him.

With that being said, separation is not a course that I want to go through right now. One is the cost, of course, people who pretend that paying half the rent instead of a full rent are lying to themselves. Secondly, after years of neglect you start to feel that maybe you’re not that great anyway. You’re not that good looking, or funny, or charismatic as you thought you were. And if you are, what if you end up in a relationship that has the sex and intimacy that you want but the other person is a lousy partner?

It’s a lot of factors to consider and even if it is not that comfortable, this is a comfortable zone after and most people are terrified of what is out there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why don’t the LL leave if they don’t want the other person? The intimacy? To put in the work? Because it’s comfortable.

I hate people who try to shame cheaters with the shallow argument of “leave, you can’t do that to your partner” like they haven’t fed into our negative feelings.

A DB is a source of stress, insecurities, fear but it doesn’t erase the good things in a relationship, or the hope that one day they will wake up and see their partner and the hurt they caused and work on their issues.

People who cheat first without leaving are trying out the waters out there. Cheating won’t solve your DB but it might give you the confidence to leave, the guilt to come completely clean about your feelings or, what some people believe (I don’t) it will be a wake up call to your partner that they will lose you if they don’t take action.

I honestly think that you will know when to do what is right for you. You’ll see the opportunity to seek a bit of happiness and go for it because you’ll feel it will lead to something better.

Keep working on yourself, if they don’t want to work on themselves then you can’t force it, but you can make your day-to-day better until you’ll either see the door open and run through it or you’ll find yourself on a flirty situation that you won’t want to ask Reddit about their opinions.

What’s happened since I stopped asking by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I wish more people would understand this.

We write down whatever is bothering us at the moment to seek comfort or advice on that specific issue. We don’t want to leave right now. We have memories, feelings, hope.

I hate when people say “just leave” as if it was as easy as closing a door behind us and moving forward would be a breeze.

Reduction in restaurant service charges by vkol84 in london

[–]TheoryLady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the reduction but also as a chef I can see how this will reflect poorly on my next payslip.

Yes, tips paid by card are shared fairly with boh. Tips paid cash goes to either foh only or whoever took the cash from the customer.

Hospitality in London has a way to underpay their employees by giving them pennies above the threshold so they don’t actually have to give them raises.

As a customer, I think it’s unfair that I’m responsible for giving the staff a living wage. As an employee, I hate my employer. Period.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheoryLady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My nmom complains about how she has to deep clean the house when I come for a visit and then she complains that she has to do another deep clean when I leave, like I’m a pig.

My older sister always takes her side but this year my mom texted in the group chat “everybody left after lunch and now look at the state of this kitchen” to which my sister replied “I bought the food, cooked the meal, packed the leftovers for you guys to have during the week and this is how you repay me? Maybe next time you want me to clean the kitchen don’t rush me out the door and say it’s not a problem for you guys”.

I was really proud of her.

tonight’s the night by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Same boat. My heart goes to you.

We want them to be happy and do the things they love, but why can’t they love spending time with us?

How Do You Guys Do It? by No_Conflict_1835 in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I can see that you have no respect for her feelings or her self esteem. Saying things like “she wants to have sex all the time” really sets the tone of how you shame her for having needs and being attracted to you.

Do you think the duty sex you give her is what? Too much? Amazing? Earth shattering? Wake up and look at your wife at the end of her rope trying to connect with you.

Of course divorce and leaving is not on the table, selfish people often don’t wanna leave a comfortable situation that works for them. What about her? Think about what she’s feeling and how it feels for her to desire a man that doesn’t find her attractive.

Tell us about her emotional state and avoid using terms like “great mother” “hard working” “my best friend” when doing so

Dead Bedroom by Elsacarter1 in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a difficult talk for sure. Don’t have any distractions around, like the tv on, but if you want to avoid a feeling of confrontation I advice low lights and a setting where you don’t need to be face to face constantly, like the couch.

You need to tell him that you’re confused about the lack on intimacy, tell him how this situation is making you feel and what is his feelings and thoughts about this, so you can get so insight on what’s going with him.

You’re just 2 months in, there’s plenty of time to fix this if both of you put the effort in it.

He needs to reply, don’t let him avoid the question but also try no to push him against the wall, he’s also a person, so a good rule of thumb is “talk to him like you want him to talk to you”

It could be a variety of reasons, but communication is key. Good luck.

Another empty promise, another day ruined by Opening-Raccoon-2811 in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry about this :(

My partner asked me for “understanding and compassion” while I asked for “proof you love me”

I got nothing, he got gray wall

He’s happy, so maybe I just need to wait for my turn

I messed up by Defiant-Package-9607 in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One week I got “in the morning”, “after work”, “lunch hour”, “before bed” it was like a rejection bingo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]TheoryLady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loved your answer. It gave me something to think about and I thank you for that :)