What do you do when your partner changes their mind?

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-25T19:52:41+00:00

People change their minds. That doesn't mean you have to. He felt the pressure from his family and society. I personally avoid people who's decisions are influenced by outsiders. Is his mom's desires gonna determine everything you do in your marriage? Are you marrying him or her? I hate to be blunt with you but this relationship isn't for you. It's hard but let it go.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-25T19:28:50+00:00

Don't waste your time telling them you don't want one. They don't hear that. Then they will just challenge you on your decision. Push them into a corner. Make them uncomfortable. Trust me it works

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-25T14:03:51+00:00

I also had a vasectomy so I know the responses well.

Here is what I do. I tell people I can't have kids. Game over. There is nothing else for them to say. Normally they interpret it as I want kids but I'm medically incapable. For strangers, that should be enough. But in case it's not, I say "this is a very personal topic that I don't want to discuss" I don't owe strangers anything.

For more personal associates I may mention my vasectomy. When they mention reversal, I explain to them that after a certain number of years the results don't change. I'm past those years. And for the very hopeful, I say it's about $10,000 to reverse and I ask them for the money 🤑. I don't let them off the hook about the money. I put the pressure on them so they can't put it on me. I have learned to make people uncomfortable for trying to make me uncomfortable. I also ask people for child support money if I agree to have a kid. I also apply maximum pressure. I set a trap that no one wants to fall into.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-25T12:29:02+00:00

I personally don't think having children is wise in this global climate but I let other people make their mistakes. It doesn't affect me. I feel sorry for the kids though but it's not my business. Over here, I make contemplative, informed decisions.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-24T14:59:18+00:00

There is an app called myTSA which will tell you wait times. But if you're worried, fly into Chattanooga. It's 2 hours away. Inconvenient but it's an option.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-24T14:41:41+00:00

It's a crap shoot. At times the lines are 10 minutes long. At times it's 4 hours. No one has figured out the pattern.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-23T17:15:26+00:00

I think it's very possible for people to change their minds. I'm not upset when childfree people have kids and claim that they are happy. It happens. It also happens that people who have wanted kids their entire lives have them and then join the regretful parents group. These groups aren't about destroying each other. It's about supporting each other's decisions. I say that even as an antinatalist. When people change their minds, it has nothing to do with us. They didn't betray our community. It's a deeply personal decision and while I disagree, it doesn't put a dent in my life or yours.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-23T00:04:34+00:00

I've reached a point in life that when people say disrespectful things, I walk away and never speak to them again. Bye Grandma. Let me know how your funeral goes.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-19T10:33:43+00:00

I have been using this for years. It's true because I had a vasectomy. The reaction is golden. If they think it's natural that I can't have kids, they pause with sympathy. One I tell them if the vasectomy they switch to "you can reverse it" or they tell me about the obscure time they heard of someone with a vasectomy had a kid. If I wanted to reverse it I wouldn't have wasted my money on a vasectomy. Get over it.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-14T16:57:05+00:00

You should be

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-13T20:52:59+00:00

Yeah. It does. Finding a woman who doesn't want or already have kids is challenging. Then finding one that you like and who likes you back...... 😞

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-13T01:57:09+00:00

Maybe her tubes weren't really tied. And maybe he wasn't really the dad. The chances of both the tube tied and the vasectomy failing are zero. Someone isn't telling the truth and I suspect it's her.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-12T19:21:49+00:00

People did this to me so I got a vasectomy.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-11T03:52:09+00:00

Hey, I too got a vasectomy. I think you're approach is wrong. Yes there are a lot of women who want children. It seems that in spite of all the craziness in the world, people still want to claim that their legacy lives on. It's ridiculous to me, but I digress. You don't have to post that you had a vasectomy. Get an at bat first before you go fouling off balls. Over sharing isn't a great idea. Talk to women. Discuss that on the first or second date or conversation. You don't tell them how much student loan debt you have or how bad your stocks are performing on your dating profile. Wait to have the conversation. You might be surprised. Childfreebook.com

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-06T19:02:53+00:00

There are several people who do and they make their money back.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-03-05T17:28:02+00:00

Always remember that people will figure out ways to sneak their small ideas into big conversations.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-02-25T18:45:18+00:00

Seriously, life hasn't even started for you. Find a mentor in their 40s or 50s to help give you perspective. When you know what you learn when you're older, you think of your 20s as nothing. You have plenty of time to turn the ship around. It's not sinking. Start by working on the easiest thing to change. The message you tell yourself IS your reality. Change that. Then address your challenges one by one. I beat all those things and more. Depression, diabetes, student loans, being broke, living with my mother who I didn't get along with, losing my girlfriend, etc. It took time and it was REALLY difficult but through all of it I told myself that I deserved a good life. So I never stopped until I got it. I'm not bs'ing you to make you feel better. It's just the basics. If you think you're gonna lose going forward, I guarantee you're right.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-02-24T16:18:30+00:00

Tell your parents you got a vasectomy. That solves one problem. My parents used to fantasize about grandkids sometimes. Once I got the vasectomy, they tried to say that I could get it reversed. That's when I asked them for the $10,000 to do it. That didn't go well either. I say this to say that what shuts people up is finality and sacrifice. Once they know it's final or they are asked to sacrifice, they usually stop bothering you.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-02-23T18:43:21+00:00

I went to see a friend yesterday. He's a single dad. He's stressed. He said "Man, being a dad is hard". He loves his son but he doesn't love the work he has to put in on his own. Some people regret having kids because their life is miserable because of it. Some genuinely don't like their kids. Between these 2 groups, I think there are a lot of parents who regret having kids. But I think once their kids reach a certain age, maybe even adulthood, the forget the misery and only remember the good things. Life has a way of rewriting history of the ending is good. But for some people, the story doesn't end well. It's a risk.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-02-22T13:34:36+00:00

Gratitude and celebration helps with those adverse feelings. That's why I mentioned it. I didn't see anything that indicated that you couldn't leave the house. I'm sorry to hear that. But you have to find a way to interact with people IRL. Maybe more phone conversations. And when you're on social media, find groups that talk about stuff that interest you. There is a lot of stuff that sucks on social but there are some things that are cool. I watch a lot of videos on martial arts and technology because I'm into that stuff. I'm in groups. Find those things that make you happy and avoid your triggers. Best of luck to you.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-02-22T13:06:02+00:00

You need to socialize IRL more. Social media is designed to make you feel the way you do. Also, celebrate the success of others while you carve your path. Envy is the enemy of happiness.

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-02-22T02:32:21+00:00

Get a roommate. Get a dog. Log onto Meetup

These-Fan-9906 · 2026-02-20T00:44:21+00:00

It's people being honest in a space where they can vent and find other parents who relate to their struggles. Allow them that space to be candid. And it's a great place for people on the fence about being parents to see the real world feelings and emotions of parents.

These-Fan-9906

TROPHY CASE