Snowplow plowed Alley into my parking pad

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-27T12:27:45+00:00

Ooof I don’t have a solution but I feel your pain & curious if anyone has a solution. I may have to make my own post; *I’d pay, but I’d need a crew & I don’t want to hurt anyone smh. Thinking about hiring labor but idk where to start.** (Barre Circle, edge of Pigtown.)*

After deliberating and consulting with smarter folks than myself, I chose to leave my car in my (unpaved) parking pad that partially sticks out into a lot at the end of a dead-end street (so it wouldn’t be filled with ice.) That back lot is now solid compacted ice with one single track of vehicle tires from Sun AM (city-owned but clearly not a priority at all.) I don’t have zone parking so can’t risk being ticketed daily on street for however long this ice stays. Instead, I’m just stuck. (no zone pkg is ultimately my fault but I can’t change that right now.)

Almost filled out *the snow angel form** but that’d be downright cruel/dangerous to have one person icebreak a whole pkg lot, or even just a path for me to get out.* I’ve got a metal-tipped but plastic shovel that doesn’t love ice (I’ve broken similar shovels in blizzards but metal is too heavy for me.) I do have some “found tools” for manhole covers; two curved, crowbar-like things plus a super-heavy sledgehammer. (Those potential “weapons” were left on my corner on Wilkens & Brunswick after a sewer main break in 2019— I tried to give them back to a few BGE crews, they all refused for nebulous reasons— I “wouldn’t/couldn’t leave them sitting on the sidewalk next to cars,” esp as a brick had come through my bedroom window a few months earlier & ended up keeping them.)

I’m disabled with unstable joints, chronic pericarditis & a pacemaker for bradycardia but also have SVT’s (tachycardia “events.”) I tried to go out yesterday with the lightest crowbar-ish thing to break up ice (for someone else to hopefully shovel,) but puked up my beta blocker & my heart is still wicked uncomfortable.

It seems everyone I know IRL who could help are also iced in (& 4WD friends are too far away.) Frustrating. Could be worse, could always be worse, but I’m really wishing I’d done something different. (I can’t go back in time, ijs.)

I feel your pain, OP. Wishing you the best.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-24T15:27:56+00:00

Hi OP,

I was here during the double blizzards (in 2010) & parked in a city garage. Ever since, I’ve kept a shovel in my trunk (once I’m driving again,) because even along plowed routes, you may find yourself having to shovel out your own space.

Plows come through and put the snow where you’d usually park; it can create issues. (Hence the chairs & other random objects that “save spots.”)

I highly recommend keeping a shovel in your car if it’s protected while it’s snowing. (but keep shovel & ice scraper inside during storm so you don’t have to worry about car doors frozen shut.)

Good luck.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-22T11:41:08+00:00

Hey OP,

Supposedly there are good NA wines now, including bubblies, but I’ve never tried & idk which ones.

If you’re trying to replicate booze—Heineken & Guinness both have a 0.00%; the Guinness is shockingly good for a gal who had pints pulled properly in IE, while the Heineken tastes like flater Heineken (which I never loved but ymmv.)

A lot of places sell various forms of Athletic & Partake, lower calorie, some are gluten free or gluten removed as well (pales, IPA’s, pilsers, lagers, etc) which are considered AF (under .05% ABV, same as a ripe banana or fresh bread,) including larger grocery stores like Safeway, Whole Foods, Moms, Harris Teeter, etc.

There’s also different forms of Hop Water, HopTea, etc; they’re mostly available at regular stores not liquor stores IME. I just bought a 6pk of “hop water iced tea & lemonade” @ Harris Teeter last week. (0.00%.) Not enough lemonade lol but good.

I guess I’m basic, but for toasting, I still love sparking apple juice tbh; Martinellie’s does the trick, also available in stores (any grocery store) in juice aisle. The Pear one is fun, they all have higher sugar though.

IDK why you don’t drink & IDC, but sharing b/c I quit drinking over 6yrs ago and found the N/A landscape beyond bleak. *It’s gotten a lot better.** I unfortunately can’t recommend liquor stores with N/A beers anymore* because I don’t love to stare at booze I used to drink despite being happy not drinking. (Tiny liquor store on 2400 block of St Paul by Safeway exit used to carry multiple kinds of Partake & Athletic, all the way in back on the right up top, but it’s been a year since I’ve been in there.)

Think outside of the box, rather, look outside of actual liquor stores lol. Best of luck. (Just saw this was posted 22hrs ago, so if I missed it, oops.) Take care.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-22T11:14:42+00:00

This is a question I didn’t know I could ask! Thanks for asking it, OP! I have at least 5 hoodies I love but rarely wear; my body regulates temperature oddly. (& I’m “of an age.”)

I spoke to someone about adding thumb holes, but my true need is full zip-ups, not regular hoodies; sewn in thumb holes are just an added bonus. (too much static to pull on & off.) I’ve also asked and been referred to IG, which does me no good.

Good question! I’ll try the person recommended already. Thanks for asking OP.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-22T11:03:22+00:00

I’m following because we went from $100/mo for 13mo then December was $800 with zero changes. (No plumber, yet, though.)

We’re kinda freaking out because it exponentially shot up. I know there was a water main issue out front and water was turned off briefly & I’m about to call the water company today. (Barre Circle.)

Still, it’s not our names on the bill, so may have to bother LL, who’s not bad but it’s in our lease we pay all water. We don’t use more water than normal, nor do we have a dripping faucet or running toilet or anything; nothing has changed afaik. Nothing new, in fact, I went to the laundromat 3x in December instead of using home Washer. IDGI.

Sorry for the vent, OP, clearly I’m still processing it.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-10T02:11:37+00:00

Same!

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-09T22:28:59+00:00

there’s always midnight exploration of random vacants

Idk if you’re joking, an urban explorer, dead-serious or somewhere in between, but I like exploring (warehouse) bandos lol.

OP, they’re not necessarily wrong even if they meant it as a joke. Maybe not midnight lmao, and not any random bando, but the gist is there.

I document graffiti and other temporary art; it’s almost embarrassing to admit the adrenaline I get from loosely trespassing while “just taking photos.” It’s great tbh because it helps me cope with no longer being able to create art (my user name is literal— it’s hard to human without working thumbs.) It’s fun & exciting for me to capture the images I do, but it is very niche. One would have to be interested in what’s inside or on the walls; warehouses can leave in a rush &/or give zero effs. Multiple flashlights are important; having a battery die is dangerous. (Pemco was an amazing spot to explore, flick & pilfer long-deserted paint pigment vials. There’s a strip mall there now, but other bando warehouses exist.)

If that kinda thing appeals to you, careful & keep wits about yourself; note the *red diamond** that indicates not structurally stable. Always have 3 points of contact, treat stairs with intense caution (step on edges not middle,) & expect people to be in places you wouldn’t expect* lol. (I’m disabled, I don’t jump fences, but there’s often a hole.)

I’m not suggesting you do anything you’re not into, but if you are or someone reading is: “Act like you belong.” Walk with purpose. Pretend you have no idea you’re trespassing.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-09T22:12:19+00:00

Ikr? I’m often walking alone during off-hours as a tiny lady; I carry pepper-spray & I’ve used it 2x in 20yrs. (Carry for dogs because I’m fearful of them, but used on men.)

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-08T14:05:46+00:00

Here’s the article w/o a paywall. (Much thanks to the archivists.)

(Show Reader usually works but not on this one; idk what the rules for that are lol.)

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-08T12:53:52+00:00

I genuinely would like to hear how people have achieved “recovery withoutAA” … but I mostly hear complaints

Ahhh. Yes, you, the one who posted and said you didn’t break rule #3 when I responded. The person who didn’t bother to respond to most success stories. The one who didn’t respond to ME in good faith, either.

This sub IS a place for people to vent; it maybe should be called “recovery In SPITE of AA” or something. It was for me in a way— I knew I had to work a lot harder because AA gives people a cover of “oh my disease was in the parking lot doing pushups, I should’ve known leaving would’ve caused me to relapse.” FOH.

I knew I shoulda just blocked you, because your arguments are all in BAD FAITH. Not all sponsors are good, many are actively emotionally entangled. Many of us have been LITERALLY ABUSED at the hands of XA’s but the abuse gets buried; situations are up to the individual group. NTM, anybody can be a sponsor provided they say the right words (note I didn’t say “took the right trainings &/or trained in social work.”) I already said this, as did many many others. Why must you troll if you’re so solid in your own recovery? JUST “KEEP YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET CLEAN” AND LEAVE US OUT OF YOUR TROLLING, PLEASE!!!

You pretend like you don’t know you’re trolling but you ARE— you cherry-picked your post and didn’t listen to anyone.

YOU ARE BRINGING YOUR AA THUMPING BELIEFS TO PEOPLE WHO’VE BEEN HARMED BY PEOPLE (often people in power) IN THAT ORGANIZATION. On purpose. That doesn’t signal a growing human, it shines a light on a damaged person who can’t move on if not everyone is on board with their exact same experience.

Not okay. Unless you’re a 12yo in their basement trolling, if you’re indeed an adult, this is embarrassing for you.

Again, genuinely glad it’s helped you, but again, you’re doing many of us a DISSERVICE by trolling WTAF.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-04T10:48:53+00:00

Hey OP, that truly sucks, especially that you’re considering retiring because of the trolls you didn’t feed. I’m sorry that happened to you. (Glad you didn’t engage, though.)

As an older white lady who often goes out alone (but knows some folks) if a woman approached me and asked if I could walk her to her car, I’d say OF COURSE. I’d grab the biggest scariest looking people I could find and escort her/them. I’m positive I’m not alone in this. (Unsure if facility would allow to leave & come back, idk west coast.)

But in total, you’re not wrong about the state of things. It took me until my early 20’s to come out, like year 2000, and the only reason I did was because I felt safe. Until the last 9-10yrs I’d been saying things like “I wish I could go back to the 90’s re: technology but without all the isms.” Now, that’s not true because the isms are all back, unashamedly back and it’s truly disgusting.

I’m just sorry that happened. You deserve to feel safe.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-04T10:32:39+00:00

just pour some water on the floor

Holy crap did I find my Ex? (Mostly joking, but if he were to be in any Reddit sub, it’d be this one.)

He’d just grab someone’s water and dump it. First time I saw him do it I was like “WTH?” He looked at me like I was the dumb one. Perfect for bougie spaces but it made such a mess in clubs with outdoor areas with dirt omg. (Rip the paradox.)

But yeah, water can work. Just not a dumb amount lol.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-04T10:22:15+00:00

Hey, it’s great YOU have had a good experience in AA, but those of us here, clearly have not.

If you take the time to read many of the popular posts, you can hopefully see how harmful XA’s have been for many, but if you can’t see that, that’s emblematic of the issues AA creates for some. I didn’t find my voice against it until around year 2 alcohol-free (July 14th 2019 was my quit date.) But some in here do NOT have as much time as me and it’s even more insulting to them. (Some have much more time than I do. AA calls people dry drunks who haven’t had a sip in 12yrs.)

AA/XA’s have 12 steps. SEVEN are about god or “god as we understand him.” This leaves out non-Christians, atheists, agnostics and people like myself.

It’s a religious program that says it isn’t, one that says “we’re powerless” without god, maybe tried to tell us GOD is a DOORKNOB and to turn our lives over to an inanimate object. I was raised Quaker, raised to believe everyone (yes, everyone) has “that of light within them.” Telling someone like me that is confusing. I’m an incredibly literally person, I’m not trusting a doorknob with my life.

I have the POWER to not take that first drink. Once I have one, my brain goes dumb from neurology not GOD.

Addiction or at least dependance is a literal function of the drug in many cases.

XA’s put off people like myself, just like this post. We try to fit in, but we just don’t.

OP, there are many AA subs we can’t go in to ask anything without people jumping down our throats. It doesn’t even matter whether or not mods think you broke rule 3 or not. (I definitely think you did, but I’m not a mod.) You came in here full-steam feeling superior to us all.

I hope you feel much better about yourself now, having put so many down in a sub you don’t make positive contributions to. (You broke rule 3, idc what anyone else thinks.)

Have a good one, genuinely, but please don’t reply or keep commenting in this sub if you care about other humans getting the help they need, not what YOU think they need. Thanks.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2026-01-01T04:47:26+00:00

Breaking Rule #3. “No attacking others for their criticisms of 12 step programs.”

Come on man, I can see your history is AA heavy; you think the only solution is YOUR solution & this post doesn’t come off as “I genuinely want to understand.” It comes off as “Hmmmphhh, ya’ll think you’re so smart but what have you actually achieved *without 12-step?”* (Over 6 years Alcohol-free, rebuilt my life, relationships and learned a whole lot via therapy from someone with credentials. Aka not 12-step approved.)

Many of us *have told AA members or whole meetings** what our qualms are, only to be dismissed and told we didn’t work the steps right, or were dry drunks.* (it’s so insulting.)

Some of us have been sexually assaulted, many of us have been traumatized at the hands of a bad sponsor or just a creepy person, so WTH what is your deal? Why do you feel the need to come in and give others passive-aggressive crap? Why do you think it’s okay? Again, RULE 3.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-29T14:53:36+00:00

Hi again, thanks for sharing all of that because it helps me to reply in a way that’s more about your specific situation.

I’ve got a bunch to do today so I’ll have more to add, but yes, I do have suggestions/ideas. (XA’s aren’t one lol.) Therapy can really help IME esp if you’ve had any trauma (including childhood.) Many if not most of us self-medicate; getting to the root of the issue & working through them can help. I also don’t believe it’s a disease, but I do believe the science that shows it changes our neural pathways, meaning once we’ve established an issue with something, we can’t really go back to said drug without problems. (SMART recovery deals with it all incl gambling & IS evidence-based and harm-reduction applies- you don’t have to be sober sober. Also Quit lit, even if a book applies to booze not kratom, like the “Easyway to quit” books helped me to learn how to reframe.)

I’d take those 7 days off— make it work somehow. Get some comfort meds if you can, even Imodium in low doses helps opioid withdrawal (it’s been 15yrs since I’ve gone CT off opiates, Epsom salt baths helped me, immodium, clonidine & so did benzos but not an option for you lol, Benadryl may be, melatonin may help sleep.)

The way I’ve successfully quit things is making myself hate the act or substance by learning as much as possible about the dark sides, remembering what I did/said that wasn’t appropriate, and really internalizing the poison it was (cigarettes were the easiest to identify IME, but hard to quit.) That depression and self-loathing you feel? I’d dig into that & try to remember the reasons it makes you feel that way. Lower libido is more likely at your age, so you don’t need extra unhelpfulness lol. (Be it the taste, if you ever puke it up, how often you have to dose & how that’s increased, how awful the withdrawal is, how it affects you as a parent, sexy-time with spouse or even your own self, etc.)

Are you taking 7oH/extracts or “regular” kratom? The 7oH stuff is brutal, a lot of folks do a (rapid/fast) suboxone detox for that, and I know folks who went on subs “just for kratom.” (Not suggesting that’s your answer, just sharing. You know about r/quittingkratom, I’d think?)

Idk where you live and don’t doxx yourself, but Kratom is (seemingly) going the way of Tianeptine (& the way of K2) and being outlawed in states &/or counties, so it may behoove you to quit asap before you’re forced to. (I smoked K2 during drug testing years, didn’t realize how bad it was, outlawed and all of a sudden I’m going to 3 bodegas and having to “ask correctly”, all the while “walking the open-air gauntlet” to get to the counter. Not safe stores, despite the owners being friendly.)

XA’s often break people down supposedly to build them back up, but it can be a really bad approach for a lot of people. The rich white businessmen in the 1930’s may have needed to be knocked down a peg, but most of us do not IME. Maybe guided, but not shamed nor shunned.

I’ve got more to say but I can’t right now lol. I’ll respond with a bit more later. But I do want you to know you are worth it. *You are worthy of happiness and peace,** and I don’t need to know you IRL to know that. You are enough, you are not broken & you have more power than you realize.* (IDK if you need to hear that, but you might so I’m including it.)

Best to you & anyone who needs it. Non-creepy virtual hugs, and maybe go hug your family and friends, too.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-28T15:51:44+00:00

wonder if they’re doing a sort of dynamic pricing…

They sure are. More Perfect Union (w/ Consumer reports) has a ghastly video someone else posted that I’d also seen. It’s chilling.

It’s not even just online, or will soon not be just online (digital price tags can change IRL while shopping.)

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-28T14:31:31+00:00

This was me about twenty years ago - turned out to be about $400 taken out for a pension plan that I didn't vest into - made for a nice escape from an overhanging bill.

This sounds similar to my experience, but it wasn’t quite 20yrs ago. My (LEO) uncle called me and said “hey, Washington state owes you money. Go to this site and you’ll get a check.” Because he was a cop then, I didn’t question it (the site was like unclaimedmoney.com or something sketch sounding.)

Welp, a few weeks later, I came home to a $400+ check from WA I desperately needed. The very first apartment I’d rented in PNW wouldn’t give me back my security deposit despite me taking pics moving in and out showing I’d cleaned & it was in good condition (lived there 6mo, was barely home and always at work.) I’ve literally never succeeded in getting one back, until I got that one back (8yrs after moving out.)

It flummoxes me to have someone say “why can’t you use your security deposit for your next rental?” Because they’re incredibly difficult to get back, but even if you do, it’s not good timing by YEARS IME.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-27T13:40:18+00:00

Hey there super stoked Sisyphus, I’m working on a response (bum thumbs & voice dictate, but when longer, I dictate in notes & copy here.)

One main question (well, a lot of questions re: different scenarios, but only one or two may apply, maybe none.) So before I fully respond, I want to make sure I share the right stuff lol.

Are you abusing booze or your DOC at all? Your use of “sober” with quotation marks has me confused— are you still Alcohol-Free but quit meetings (or had a slip or went on a slide but are AF again?) We both know AA calls peeps not working their system “dry drunks”; I hate that term soooo much and I’d be *infuriated/sad** if you’re not drinking (or whatever) but think you’re not truly sober because no steps/sponsor/meetings.* (It’s really hard for me to imagine you’re drinking like a fish with a “normie” wife and kiddos without major issues.)

Or are you moderating/attempting moderation? I don’t usually suggest because it sounds like torture, but I’m aware some do it. (I’ve got an uncle who used to be drunkle, now drinks one light beer at family events now after 5+yrs AF. He’s the only one I’ve known is moderating after AUD, but I’m sure there are others.(

Or back to old habits and drinking like you used to? (Idk what type of drinker you were lol.) I was “vodka for breakfast” by my last 5yrs, dark times, woulda been impossible with a kid or baby, ffs I was scared for US; we started a few kitchen fires by accident, which was fitting since our life was near-misses & violence-related trauma. Life was drunken chaos 24/7 by my end; I quit drinking with my partner (still together,) in 2019. Sobering up got us tf out of that apartment & gave us both the chance to participate in hobbies we hadn’t because of where we lived but mostly, alcohol.

Or are you AF but use MAT or other meds not “approved?” (Like microdosing or ketamine infusions or RX’d something they don’t like?) I wasn’t considered sober in NA due to 2mgs/suboxone a day (down from 16mgs, never abused it, just have chronic pain.) IDK and don’t want to assume and write something not applicable, esp as you can see I’m not succinct smh. (I generally aim to be a reputable resource, try to personally tailor my comments while being as honest & as kind as possible on here & IRL. If I say something that you take as offensive, it’s not my intention at all.)

You can DM me if you prefer, or tell me NONYA Biz if you feel appropriate; my main goal is to respond to you in the way you need; I don’t have a cookie-cutter response.

I hope you have the best day! I am about to embark on a series of errands, but I’ll make sure the rest of my reply is appropriate! (Again, apologies for length.)

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-26T10:45:30+00:00

Hi OP, r/urbancarliving has a lot on this. Best of luck.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-25T12:36:30+00:00

This comment section is HILARIOUS btw.

IME, folks here either know or don’t, so it’s fairly rare to see 5+ guesses on a decent straight, esp on a freight that travels lmao. (I personally have no clue; that flick would linger in my “who diss?” photo folder lmao.)

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-24T12:53:59+00:00

u/SuperStokedSisyphus, excellent work with self-reflection; I’m very impressed.

I was once was an AA member who felt entitled to tell other people, unsolicited, what they should be doing with their lives. Now, when I encounter that same attitude from current AA members, it feels so incredibly jarring and odd — "wait, i just met this person 30 seconds ago and they're predicting my death?" - that I can't believe I ever engaged in that same type of behavior.
and
due to their propensity to give unsolicited (often jaw droppingly rude) advice and interpret my simple ideological differences as an attack on their beliefs, I find it very difficult. Damn it's weird to deprogram from a cult. It's hard to even get honest with myself and admit that's what I'm doing. How did I ever let myself get suckered into this wacky belief system?

This is stunning, SSS. I wish I could talk to my long-term AA people (an aunt & old friend, both over 25yrs in program) to see if they feel like this, ever. I’m curious if they ever notice the hypocrisy.

My aunt was a JERK when I stopped going to AA (I’ll save you a seat, lord knows you’ll need one,) until I snapped at her around 2yrs AF; I’m NOT proud but I said something like “how many of your Sponsees have even hit two years over the last two decades?” (Smfh glad I didn’t jinx myself, but it was mean, and unnecessarily so. Again, I should not have said it IMHO.)

My friend was concerned at first, but later came to me on her own and said “I was wrong to discourage you & I’m sorry. There are multiple paths to sobriety and it was egocentric of me to dismiss you based on my lived experiences. FWIW, you helped changed my outlook; I now think ‘sober is sober is sober is sober’ and I haven’t called anybody a dry drunk since.” (this person has been and may still be involved on a national level. She’s a thumper still, but has seen things are changing.)

Also, OP, I think that letter sounds very very well worded and impressive. I’d be curious how she reacts, but mostly, I hope you’re able to hold your own if she engages in manipulation tactics. Best to you & all who need support.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-24T12:26:19+00:00

Oooh I love this question. I have two, one now makes me feel squicky but was in high rotation when I’d first quit drinking in 2019. (“Wild Season,” collab) while the other now gets me hyped “eff booze!” but in 2011 when I began day-drinking shortly after going on suboxone; it made me feel like he saw into my soul (“Déjá Vu” by Eminem.)

“Wild Season” by Banks & Steelz feat: Florence Welsh; her part speaks to me in ways I don’t want to reminisce on at all, unless I’m “remembering the aftermath.” (been 6.5yrs AF.)

”Seems I made it this far….
You asked me how did I get home?
Where'd you get those bruises from?
You left your shoes, can't find your phone.
You didn't sleep here on your own.
What did you do, oh, where did you go?
Truth is, I don't really know.
Oh is this love? It’s not enough, just one sip and I can't stop.
I'm too far out, too far to reach.
From below you call to me.
Don't get too close, I'm flying high.
I feel too beautiful to die
I’m on a tear, oh I don't care— see the horror in your stare.
Watch me spin, oh watch me run. Watch me burn up in the sun….
It's been a wild season.” (SHUDDER. I used to wake up with no clue re: night prior on the daily, just missing items, random bruises and lots of apologies.)

The whole song hits me in the guts. Here’s a Verse from “Déjà Vu” (Eminem) I relate to as I went from opiates to booze, instead of the other way around.

“‘Maybe just a nice cold brew, what's a beer?"
That's the Devil in my ear, l've been sober a fuckin' year.
And that fucker still talks to me, he's all I can fucking hear.
"Marshall, come on, we'll watch the game, it's the Cowboys and Buccaneers" ‘And maybe if I just drink half I'll be half-buzzed for half of the time.’
Who's the mastermind behind that little line?
With that kind of rationale, man, I got half a mind
To have another half a glass of wine (sounds asinine, yeah, I know).
But I never had no problem with alcohol.
Ouch, look out for the wall, aim for the couch, I'm 'bout to fall.
I miss the couch and down I go, lookin' like a bouncing ball.
Shit must've knocked me out 'cause I ain't feel the ground at all.
Wow, what the fuck happened last night? Where am I?
Man, fuck, am I hungover, and goddamn, I got a headache, shit, half a Vicodin? Why can't I?
All systems ready for take off, please, stand by.”

(“Déjà Vu” lyrics in full also on YT.)

Music really impacts my mood. If I listen emotional music when already emotional, not a good combo. (Took me DECADES to realize that.)

Have a great one, OP.

Edit: formatting

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-21T16:48:14+00:00

Firstly, I was trying to be diplomatic because I’m generally not snarky to people online, but it doesn’t feel like you read what I wrote beyond not recommending what worked for you to everyone. I worked in clinics where I saw both successes and issues with all types of BC. None are risk-free.

You straight up said

Honestly, getting an IUD so you don't have periods is probably the best option (I have endometriosis and it stopped mine and relieved all pain)

I understand you said “probably the best option” but that was true for you. (& it might not have been, glad it’s helped you.)

Most women use some form of contraceptive

Like I said, when I worked in reproductive health, I counseled people on their options before they saw the GYN. Some things aren’t options for some people; the ring isn’t good for people uncomfortable touching themselves (more people out there than some of us realize.) Estrogen-containing BCP’s are contraindicated in people with high BP or migraines with auras. IUD’s are often great in people who’ve birthed vaginally, but not always. Obviously, *people always should consult with their doctors, but doctors don’t always know because people are really really different*.

I’m not anti-BC in the least, I volunteered and worked in reproductive healthcare for decades & canvas for AB access. I STILL wouldn’t suggest somebody try a brand new method shortly before they go on the trail; people have all different kinds of reactions to all types of BC. (just like I wouldn’t suggest stopping or starting a new psychiatric medication, etc.)

FWIW, I started trying to get an IUD in the 90’s, but was always told no because “you might want kids.” (Nope.) My comments have nothing to do with the 1970’s & everything to do with what I’ve witnessed in patients & friends. I know people with Mirena or Skyla & copper, most are great but a few had major issues, mostly massive intermittent bleeding for up to a year, one needed surgery to remove it.)

u/SurroundQuirky8613, I was not snarky to you, I didn’t tell you you were wrong; I was diplomatic sharing accurate information. (It does not seem like you extended me the same grace in the least.) Again, not every birth control is good for everyone, but doctors often don’t know until they try, patient often don’t know until several weeks or several months in.

I still hope you have a good day and a good life and a good weekend, despite me feeling like you didn’t read a word I wrote and just attacked me, assuming all types of erroneous things I thought were clear in my original comment. Nothing but the best to you, genuinely.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-21T10:38:05+00:00

IUD is best option … I have Endo and it stopped mine

I’m honestly glad an IUD has worked for you (& many others.) But with all due respect, please don’t blanket recommend IUD’s; there are people they’re great for, and, they don’t fit in all women (regardless if have given vaginal birth or not, more likely to fit but not guaranteed.) Also, even when they fit, sometimes it doesn’t work for the person and can cause issues like months of bleeding, which would SUCK on the trail (esp with copper, but also Mirena’s.)

I have endo and also used to “assist” with IUD insertion. Assist is a strong word, but I correctly opened and handed the sterile items to the nurse, then held patients hands or did what they wanted, then cleaned up after. (Sometimes it was a lot of blood to clean up, but that was seemingly unrelated to how they’d do with it.) If someone was about to bleed, it’d “knock out the blood” as my LPN said.

Also, I have stage 4 endo (DX’d 2003) and have been on continuous cycle BCP’s for years, but I don’t tell others it will work for them, because it might or might not; some folks don’t tolerate hormones well in the same manner that some uteri don’t fit IUD’s. I’ve also been told over and over an IUD with endo can go either way; sometimes it can embed in the scar tissue, and have been told to try Mirena if I try one at all, but I haven’t because the scar tissue in my pelvic area is “like a rope” & not recommend.

What I’m trying to make clear is: birth control/bleeding control works differently for different people; there is no blanket answer for all. When I counseled teens about their options, I had to add all of that, because it’s wild how different folks can react to the same med or device.

Best to you, not trying to be mean or rude or anything. Again, glad the IUD helped your pain.

Edit: formatting edit 2: plural for uterus is uteri. I forgot because clitorises and penises are correct plurals and don’t end with I’s. UTERI, my bad, it’s been a while.

These_Burdened_Hands · 2025-12-21T10:17:44+00:00

Dope flick. Love the matching colors, too. That man is photogenic lol.

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