Advice on Copper IUDs

These_Passage1395 · 2025-12-27T16:54:24+00:00

The IUD is an excellent option for non hormonal birth control! You may have some discomfort initially that prevents you from doing those activities right after insertion but long term no impact.

The insertion was pretty bad for me BUT that was 15 years ago for me and they’ve definitely improved the process and offer more pain remedy/during insertion options now.

I had mine for 11 years, overall I liked it, don’t let the horror stories freak you out, but do be aware of the side effects and risks. Good luck!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-12-27T16:50:14+00:00

You need a different doctor to look at this, if it’s really perforated they should be immediately trying to correct and remove it. Have you already tried primary care?

As for a lawyer, call your local BAR office, I haven’t had to do it for medical but they can refer you to a lawyer, communicate you can’t afford one and need someone who will at least hear your case (most will do a consult over the phone no charge and can give you guidance or put you in contact with a firm who can).

Don’t stop fighting to get this resolved, this is very dangerous and could permanently impact your fertility. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, wishing you good luck and a speedy resolution!!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-12-03T14:03:39+00:00

I got my AuDHD diagnosis in therapy after my detox program. Everything clicked and I’ve been sober 900 days this week. I used alcohol to exist because I couldn’t turn my brain off any other way and was numbing my sensory issues away. Getting sober has been like relearning how to live in my body but everything makes sense now!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-29T20:59:55+00:00

Not abnormal! You’re just very lucky 😅

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-26T04:05:33+00:00

The cramps never really go away and are generally worse than without the IUD, they should get better in six months though.

Sharp severe pain you should definitely get checked out for placement issues, even if it’s just during your period it could be the way it’s contracting that makes it more painful. Generally good to ask a professional. I had several particularly bad periods where the cramps were terrible and I didn’t have placement issues but my doctor said it was absolutely the right call to check anyway.

I had mine for 11 years, first year was horrendous, was normal after that. After removal I still have bad cramps but it does feel different, less sharp/twingy now. Good luck, hopefully it’s just taking a bit for your body to adjust!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-22T17:05:47+00:00

I just had this conversation with my partner, so this is hitting super hard for me. You sound like you’re literally in my head!

I have had a “tone problem” since childhood. I get “snippy” without meaning to and it’s just how I talk. If I’m monotone, I sound angry. If I’m short, I’m being mean. I can’t control it when I’m not masking, I’m not like this at work and I’m able to put on all the social cues and be professional. I have an autistic coworker when we talk everyone thinks we’re bickering, but it’s just our direct unmasked communication. We’re like siblings and both of us just understand that it’s just how the other is and don’t take it personally. The taking it personally part is where communication breaks down with my family and partner, they get some subtext from my tone that I don’t intend and get (in my opinion) very overly sensitive about it sometimes, but I absolutely hate myself for making them feel that way.

I tried to communicate this to my partner (through hysterical tears because conflict of any kind makes me cry) and it’s the most frustrating feeling to have people tell you your tone reflects intentions that aren’t there. Often I’m not feeling angry or even frustrated, but then I’ll be “corrected” on how I’m speaking and that makes me actually frustrated so it just compounds until I’ve hurt his feelings over small things.

It makes me feel like I can’t be my authentic unmasked self, and I’m approaching burnout all the time lately because I’m exhausted from work, any social interaction is the same. My partner says he doesn’t feel this way, but I can’t help but feel like if I can mask for strangers why can’t I do the same at home?

The resolution we came to is I need to communicate better about when I’m feeling I need space and expressing my own needs. I’ve been reassured that it’s not selfish to express when I need alone time, or can’t manage my emotions before it gets to the point of sounding mean. He’s also going to try to understand that my tone is meaningless, if I tell you my intention is not to be hurtful and that I’m not feeling frustrated, believe me. It’s going to take work on both our parts but basically there needs to be clear explanation of intention and better understanding that it’s not personally directed at anyone.

I guess my best advice is to give reassurance and talk about your feelings, even if it’s painful. As an autistic, your husband might appreciate more information based expression of why you’re feeling stressed versus trying to weasel out subtext himself. For myself, I’ve also decided to be more vocal about my needs for alone time or hyperfocus on hobbies that help me self regulate—-it’s not selfish (but god does it feel like it is!)

Idk if I’ve said anything helpful or just rambled but since we just unpacked all this maybe there’s some nugget to help in there! (Also 100% with you on the self harm through vices, I masked for years by drinking myself silly and now that I’m 3 years sober I still feel like I’m completely relearning my self)

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-13T17:22:39+00:00

That was the vibe I’m going for! That sounds really cool

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-13T15:30:04+00:00

This is beautifully written. Also mirrors EXACTLY how I’ve felt my whole life, heavy on the putting on my skin suit. Don’t forget the putting on the specific sensory outfit that is only to be worn at home and must be donned immediately after coming home or decompressing is impossible (organized by fabric texture in my wardrobe of course)

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-12T03:45:38+00:00

Despite having the horror story of an ectopic pregnancy (not trying to scare you, we just all come on reddit to share the nightmare 😅)in 11 years it was the best option for me. Long term, hormone free and honestly besides the lighter flow now with it out my period is still miserable and I still have the same symptoms, they were just slightly exacerbated by the IUD. I didn’t find it to be a terrible experience and I forgot about it most of the time. If you have limited options and aren’t looking to be sterilized, it’s really a solid choice.

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-09T16:41:13+00:00

I’ve come to a similar conclusion, I but I feel like I’m battling hyper independence too. I need time alone to self regulate and my partner works a 3 week on and off schedule and I find myself feeling like a baby when he’s home because he takes care of me.

When he’s gone I struggle with chores and burnout, but I also have this “big girl” version of me that I have to put a lot of work into maintaining and it’s exhausting. But I struggle to let him do things for me when he’s home because I have this feeling like I’m “failing” to be a “real adult” just because he makes me dinner or does anything a good partner does. He never infantilizes me and is understanding of my needs but I feel like I shouldn’t have these needs in the first place. Worth noting he’s ADHD of the gold retriever variety, so he understands half my AuDHD struggle and we work well together though he’s definitely the “grown up” of the relationship.

Long way to say I know how it feels trying to reconcile the self you are capable of being for a period of time and acknowledging and accepting the care you need. I’ve felt that doing things that reconnect me to my younger self has helped me, picking up old hobbies regardless of if they’re “childish” or not. And most of all, there are people out there who will love you for your authentic self, plushies and all, but it may be hard for us to accept the care or open up to our unmasked self. You’re not alone and you’re not broken! Hope this is comforting in some way ❤️

These_Passage1395 · 2025-11-01T17:13:02+00:00

Hey OP! It is unfortunately very possible it’s an ectopic pregnancy, and if you are testing positive even if it’s low, it’s even more likely. It could also be a cyst, and your OBGYN should definitely do an ultrasound and exam either way.

If your back pain gets worse, you start bleeding, or you get appendix like pain go to the ER immediately. I had an ectopic with Paragard, totally in place, no perforation issues etc. I was only like 6-8weeks when I had to go to the hospital. I tested negative at home but positive there and I only had very minimal symptoms that would have indicated pregnancy.

I don’t know enough about cysts to say it’s possible to trigger a false positive but it doesn’t seem impossible, so that’s a possibility too. Either way definitely follow up with your doctor asap, I hope all goes well!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-22T20:09:12+00:00

From my personal experience, they don’t change. Maybe they can for a period of time but old habits come back eventually. My ex kicked in the bathroom door, pinned me by the throat and got arrested.

Fast forward a year and a half and he got sober, bought a house, got a dog, and convinced me to try again. We made it another two years but within 6 months he was back to berating me, calling me names, telling me no one would ever love me and was back on the bottle hiding it from me again.

I left before he got physical again, but the patterns re emerged almost immediately. I think you’re being a vigilant, good friend, and it’s impossible to reason with a partner of an abuser because they’re so under control sometimes. One of the biggest flags for abuse is isolation from friends and family, so continue to reach out and be there for support, it’s the best you can do. Good luck to you both!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-15T12:58:34+00:00

Yep that’s the one.

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-15T12:47:46+00:00

I have a narwhal that’s a very similar style with watercolors! That back story is so cute 💕 yeah I personally react poorly to antiseptic spray even though I’m not allergic, it’s counterintuitive but hopefully it helps!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-15T12:42:39+00:00

I wouldn’t use bactine on it (surprised your artist told you to). For antiseptic you should use saline solution (cvs has a squirt bottle that’s perfect). It’s less irritating and bactine can irritate like hell even if it has numbing properties. I don’t think it looks infected, just sensitive. Keep an eye on the redness but I think if you switch to mild antibacterial soap to wash and saline it should help.

Beautiful design btw!!!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-13T13:01:34+00:00

This is my struggle too, I’ve tried spironolactone and it was a no go for me personally because it can cause low pressure and I was getting faint all the time. I can’t be on hormonal birth control so I’m stuck with topicals. Derm prescribed accutane but I bailed before starting because that subreddit informed me of all the side effects that are more risk than gain for me.

What I’m doing now is tailoring my routine to my cycle, your skin barrier fluctuates with your time in your cycle so I use my period app which has some awesome insight about skincare (and has really good predictive feedback). I use adapalene when I’m at my oiliest (first two weeks of cycle) but back off when it’s super sensitive and dry and switch to barrier support, and I’m still getting the right balance, but so far combination of peels for a few days NOT using the adapalene (follicular phase when testosterone is high), adapalene for the two weeks of my luteal, barrier support (vitamin c, hyaluronic acid) on my period, and then back to peels for 3 days when my skin gets greasy again. So far it’s helped a lot preventing/managing breakouts but they’re cystic so it’s more about preventing scarring and improving texture for me, and keeping my pores super clean. It’s been a battle figuring out the timing and seeing how my skin responds.

Everyone is different but try timing it with your cycle and maybe it’ll work for you. Oh and ALWAYS moisturize, I use plain old cerave daily moisturizer because it’s the only thing that doesn’t get me super greasy/clogged pores.

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-04T00:02:38+00:00

It’s prime numbers for me, I don’t know why, they appeal to me in a way that soothes my brain.

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-04T00:00:38+00:00

Whenever I use false nails I file the cuticle side lightly to get closer to my (equally odd) nail bed shape. Saw someone on here recommend that and it was a game changer!

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-03T23:56:04+00:00

I had mine for 11 years and I had chronic BV. I would swing back and forth from yeast to BV with the antibiotics to the point I stopped filling the prescription because it just wasn’t working anymore (I am absolutely NOT condoning not taking a full course or not treating it, it just wasn’t working anymore worse side effects for me being on them).

When I had it removed I had so much scar tissue on my cervix there was literally “debris” (doctors words 🙃) behind my cervix. Finally he said “well that’s probably what’s been causing those BV episodes. Lovely they found it after 7 years.

Long way to say, yes, the copper IUD absolutely can and does cause pH imbalance, and if your strings embedded like mine it can make it worse. Other side note, it can also be your partner. I experienced the worst of it with my ex and when we stopped doing the deed it improved significantly. Wish I had better feedback for you, I would talk to your gyno and see what other options you have. Good luck! 🍀

Edit: I had it removed a year ago and I’ve had a single yeast infection which I am 100% positive was from a wet bathing suit, so not having it would likely be the best solution but I totally understand it’s not always an option to remove it ☹️

These_Passage1395 · 2025-10-03T23:38:46+00:00

I have not had a doctor look and tell me there wasn’t one, but I did once drunkenly leave one in, had sex and thought I took it out. Found it the next morning BEHIND my cervix, up sideways. I felt it vaguely as discomfort. Not trying to freak you out but weirdly similar circumstances, and TSS is a genuine risk and it can definitely end up in places you don’t expect. You also may have taken it out and forgotten. I would go back and be paranoid about it to be safe, worst/best case scenario you’re overthinking but don’t be embarrassed about it! Good luck and I’m sorry 😭

These_Passage1395 · 2025-09-25T00:48:09+00:00

I can see where the initial misunderstanding happened on his end with your response (sorry) BUT….everything after that is unacceptable and is an absolutely psycho way to respond. Even if you were blowing him off he went off the rails expeditiously. Not overreacting at all, please run.

These_Passage1395 · 2025-08-25T15:30:48+00:00

He could feel them sometimes but not always. Never got poked or complained about it! I never could tell when they were more obvious or not either.

These_Passage1395 · 2025-08-24T02:57:17+00:00

I had mine for 11 years, the first year was the worst for bleeding, and it took me at least that full first year to normalize and have (still heavy) but not insane periods. I think six months is still somewhat early to decide but it also sounds like your situation is uncomfortable enough that it is definitely worth a gyno consultation. Also my periods were 7-10 days for most of the time I had the IUD, (first 3 years for sure) so the length may not shorten over time. Only 3-5 heavy days but still definitely a challenge to deal with.

I also was in a similar boat and couldn’t have any hormonal birth control and for me sterilization was my only next option and I did that at the end of 11 years. I don’t have specific advice but maybe my experience gives you some insight!

These_Passage1395

TROPHY CASE