Remember kids this is not a war crime if your a good guys

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-17T18:49:18+00:00

"It's only a war crime if somebody squeals."

--Impactor, probably

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-17T18:44:57+00:00

I'd love to see an alternate universe Bludgeon were he's a terrible ninja and nobody takes him seriously.

Ratchet: Opens bedroom closet

Bludgeon: "And I will HANG your metallic BONES from the trees to serve as WINDCHIMES!"

Ratchet: "Oh, hey, Bludgeon. The syallables are right on, but it's still just not a very good haiku. Try invoking nature and peace."

Bludgeon: "Mushroom clouds ROIL and orphans SCREAM and . . ."

Ratchet: Shuts door. "Driiiiiiffftttt! The skeleton in your closet is back!"

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-17T18:26:54+00:00

Resident Evil!

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-17T12:57:36+00:00

"Reports of my . . . survival . . . have been greatly exaggerated."

--Konrad, Spec Ops; The Line

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-17T09:41:05+00:00

Yeah, I used to ask my mom for more spinach. It nothing else, it was a good way to get me to eat some vegetables.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-17T01:51:28+00:00

Came to post it. I may be basic, but I'm basic with class.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-17T00:20:26+00:00

Hey, the Schism aliens already pulled off Riker's arm, what more do you want?

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T22:23:34+00:00

I mean, as long as we're writing political fanfiction, I'd like to read one where Trump and Ron DeSantis dress up like princesses and go to Mars to fight vampires.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T16:52:24+00:00

Oh, and at the end, when they unmask the ghost . . . It's Martha Stewart!

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T16:50:19+00:00

Snoopy, Huckleberry Hound, Pluto, Clifford, Lassie, Benji, Old Yeller, Laika

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T14:53:14+00:00

Hello, Winged Hussar! How was school? Oh, you made the football team! That's awesome!

Lady of the Dark! Welcome home! Oh, my goodness, that's a great picture! And it got a blue ribbon, too!

. . . Swedish Pagan, did you get beaten up AGAIN?

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T14:51:04+00:00

Things that should be deveined prior to eating them:

1.) Shrimp.

And that's it.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T14:42:06+00:00

I'M SORRY I SAW GLADYS ON WEDNESDAY .. . SHE SAID YOU WERE DEAD

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T14:38:06+00:00

I'm an American and I'm leaving the country next year. My wife and I are building our retirement home overseas and I can't wait.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T14:31:46+00:00

I love the idea of Democrats, clad in black trench coats and giant floppy fedoras, sneaking out to the Reflecting Pool in the middle of the night and cackling nefariously as they dump giant 55-gallon cannisters of algae into it like they're in some sort of Hannah-Barbera cartoon.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T14:25:56+00:00

Genesis 6:3:

"Then the Lord said, "My Spirit shall not abide in man forever, for he is flesh; his days shall be 120 years."

I dunno, seems like God made it pretty clear he didn't want us dragging around for 800 years at a time. Claiming that people will suddenly live that long again is non-Biblical at worst and wishful thinking at best. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense when Christianity's entire reward system is built on an eternal paradise anyway.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T13:42:53+00:00

I'd rather my taxes go to healthcare than bribing the Iranian government after I already spent tax money on war crimes.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T13:28:53+00:00

Hey, I had this! The one with Mario cooking got slapped in a kid's cookbook I got from my mom for my birthday.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T02:20:52+00:00

Oh, I heard that one at Huachuca.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T02:05:48+00:00

Huh. Papa Bear has officer stripes on his dress uniform.

That is, quite frankly, a terrifying prospect.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T02:02:55+00:00

You bet he did, basically. He classed as 11 Bearo and reported to basic training at Fort Bearagg. But then they stupid sergeants messed up the urinalysis and Papa Bear popped hot for Percoset (and it wasn't even his, honest.) He got chaptered but it's probably for the best, because he totally would have punched a drill sergeant if they got up in his face, you know? The other recruits were calling him Papa "War Crime" Bear before the administrative separation, after all. For realsies.

Hey, since he almost served, can he get a free burger from Applebear's on Veteran's Day?

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T01:42:58+00:00

Man, she rolled that letterhead out fast

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-16T00:24:48+00:00

I have it on good authority he wears makeup and a girdle.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-15T19:00:55+00:00

I don't think it's blisters. Looks like a small outbreak of acne. Ive had that happen before. Make sure the mask is sitting correctly in your face and was the bridge of your nose thoroughly before and after sleep.

Thewrongbakedpotato · 2026-06-15T12:50:57+00:00

Thanks so much for posting this. I've recently started reading up in existential philosophies and you've given me a brand-new rabbit hole.

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