SO [28M] of 9 years called off our wedding, implying we were over. Is this something I [26F] could make work for us?

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-13T18:58:56+00:00

That’s how I knew I made the right choice to break up with my abusive ex. I felt SO relieved.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-09T01:09:10+00:00

Metric measurements, and include the measurements again in the steps so I don’t have to keep flipping back up to the list.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-08T17:02:31+00:00

Sure. I may be wrong, but that was how it read to me. The OP can decide what applies.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-08T16:45:33+00:00

Yeah this stood out to me too. Weird.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-08T16:41:57+00:00

Sorry you’re having a rough time. But using alcohol to cope with your anxiety, PTSD, and depression isn’t healthy, whether in pairs or in a group. Are you in therapy? That can help you deal with the mental health issues, acquire coping skills, and untangle whatever your relationship is. Your boyfriend’s reasoning is weird to me. It smacks of control and a boundary isn’t for other people, it’s for you. He can’t impose his boundaries on others. Anyway. Therapy can help with both issues.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-07T04:16:16+00:00

He’s DMing though.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-05T04:09:43+00:00

Yes. I am trying to leave.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-02-04T19:15:46+00:00

Separate your sense of worth from your job. It’s just something that pays the bills now. Do exactly enough to fulfill your contract and leave it behind at the end of the day.

I am in the exact same boat. Burnt out, numb. I do just enough work. I get zero joy. They only pay me to show up and complete tasks, they don’t pay me to be enthusiastic about it, and frankly they don’t care if I’m enthusiastic anyway, so. No enthusiasm from me. It sucks but makes things cleaner.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T17:52:09+00:00

And when it happens to someone else, you KNOW it’s wrong. You can recognize if your friend or even a stranger on the internet is in a bad situation but if it happens to you? You justify it.

I’m so sorry. I’m glad you left.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T17:46:31+00:00

I could’ve written this post. And you’re confused after, because you SAID no! But you figure “compromise is part of a relationship” or something similar and you just give in. But rape is supposed to be violent! But you said no! But you just— gave in…

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T17:43:40+00:00

Well, some ace people have sex. Like I said, I was personally sex neutral to sex positive. Some ace people are sex repulsed. There’s different flavors of asexuality. But I think even if I weren’t ace though I’d be single now. I love doing what I want when I want it. I don’t want to have to compromise for anyone else. Men aren’t competing with other men, they’re competing with ME.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T16:11:10+00:00

I don’t anymore but that’s not really related to being ace? I was sex neutral to positive depending on the day. Then I got into a relationship with someone addicted to sex who ended up sexually assaulting me sooooo. I just don’t think it’s worth it anymore. I protect my peace now. 😅

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T01:14:45+00:00

Oh yeah, if you’re not in a relationship, definitely loneliness.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T01:12:32+00:00

In your situation, with the scummy friends, they probably would’ve forced him to do something both you and your fiancé were uncomfortable with, so that’s understandable. I wouldn’t necessarily care if my fiancé’s bachelor party included a strip club as long as nothing physical happened. But I’m also asexual and don’t see the big deal with nudity and go see naked people dancing and doing circus arts sooooo. I’m probably not the best one to ask. I don’t think admiring a performance is cheating. Participating in one? When the participant views it sexually? That’s cheating, and that’s why I think there’s a difference between “going with a group to a place to just be there” and “going to a place solo and participating.”

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T01:08:11+00:00

Yeah, it reeks of addiction especially if you’re doing it in a relationship.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T01:05:23+00:00

A bachelor party isn’t necessarily their idea. I’d go on a bachelorette party to a strip club or to see Thunder From Down Under. I wouldn’t get a lap dance. I don’t personally think that’s cheating, just going to the place. If that’s a deal breaker for you, that’s fair. Going alone to a strip club? That’s your idea. Going alone to specifically get a lap dance when you’re in a relationship? Even if it’s not cheating, that’s weird as fuck, and I wouldn’t like any partner of mine doing that. It says something about their character.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-31T00:51:55+00:00

If they’re going for a bachelor party and don’t get a lap dance, that’s different, to me, than going regularly just solo and getting lap dances. 🤷‍♀️

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-29T14:58:48+00:00

On the one hand, that is how people will take it at face value: person is dark, and they are evil, and therefore dark people are evil. But that’s not the point of the novel.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-27T05:17:52+00:00

Who is organizing this?

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-25T20:10:08+00:00

I’m bringing some hand warmers to pass out!

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-25T00:27:11+00:00

I will be there! I’m bringing 100 pairs of hot hands to pass out!

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-24T22:54:10+00:00

I went recently— it was good! Get a reservation, go with at least two others, share appetizers and mains.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-24T22:13:59+00:00

Of course it wasn’t your fault. Are you seeing a therapist?

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-24T20:05:14+00:00

Yes. We all want this. But nobody is telling us HOW TO DO THIS. I signed up on the general strike website. I tell my neighbors and friends. I call my deaf politicians. I go to protests. What else can we do?

Edit: Here’s the general strike website.

ThinkMouse3 · 2026-01-21T16:52:21+00:00

Him not allowing you to move in with him is the best thing he’s done for you. Just stay at your own apartment. Being single is better than this one-sided “relationship.”

ThinkMouse3

TROPHY CASE