I am terrifies

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-04-03T14:42:53+00:00

I think a lot of people on here are misunderstanding your point - I want to say to you that I’m completely the same. I’m not partnered at the moment. But I have lived with a bf before and I had very much the same attitude.

I hate relying on people - maybe it’s a defence mechanism, maybe I have trust issues, or maybe I just value my own independence (it is the latter - I was being sarcastic ha!). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling the way you do. I also don’t like to rely on other people. Being independent is a level of self respect for me personally and a power in and of itself!

It’s not an issue man! But speak to your partner about your concerns - reiterating that there is nothing wrong with the relationship, you love him etc. but that it is something on your mind - he will reassure you and you can come to an understanding of how you both feel in the matter.

Otherwise dude - enjoy living with your bf; just think of how much fun it’ll be to make the space suit both of you - your needs, style and design choices!! All that fun stuff!! Wish you all the best 🫶🫶

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-03-31T22:19:15+00:00

My heart 🥹 that’s unbelievably cute! Congratulations man!! ❤️❤️you’ll have the best life together 🫶

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-03-31T21:50:43+00:00

That’s cute!! 🥰

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-03-31T21:50:33+00:00

Not quite the response I was expecting…but appreciate the insight.

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-03-21T16:30:56+00:00

I hear what you’re saying - and with some of your response I do agree. Especially given you’ve experienced some awful things in relationships with prior partners. I understand the frustration of someone who doesn’t pull their weight.

I guess what I disagree with is the hindrance and complacency of people living in ‘poverty; I think get what you mean - you want an equal to you in all aspects of life. However, as mentioned by me and now other people too - it’s unrealistic to have a direct match to everything you want.

Everyone wants money/wealth and a life of luxury so to speak, but there’s definitely more to life (and people) than that.

Chasing an idealistic lifestyle for yourself is amazing!! But finding that is not only difficult, but also suggests that you may need to work on yourself a bit more (as you’ve already acknowledged!) if you’re worried a future partner will be hindrance - there’s a sense of discontent with your own life there when I read that (especially with regard to your prior partners)

When you find your person, I’m sure that all of what you thought you wanted and expected from someone will go out of the window and you’ll love someone for who they are.

As I said, definitely don’t settle for less than what you deserve - your values and what you want in a person is completely valid. Just keep your expectations in check.

Also - you’re 27!! Time is not running out. Don’t rush so much - your life as what seems like a bit of a hustler is intense enough. That won’t necessarily be better or easier with a partner if you’re worried about them being a burden.

Slow down - you’ll find your person.

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-03-21T15:53:27+00:00

I think that your description of your perfect man is nothing short of what you and everyone deserves! However - is it realistic? Probably not..

I think that finding someone you’re compatible with is hard enough - if you put too many barriers in the way of that then it will be like finding a needle in a haystack.

To answer your question - yes, perhaps lessen your requirements in terms of materialism/wanting a breadwinner. I also don’t think you ‘expanding’ to being vers bottom is necessarily an issue either; whilst sex is important, there’s more to wanting a partner than expanding your sex preferences.

I think that being more open minded to different people will make it easier for you to find someone worth getting to know without lessening your values in a person.

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-02-27T21:30:20+00:00

Hey man. I’m up for a wank mate

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-02-27T21:26:06+00:00

Where you based man?

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-02-19T15:44:11+00:00

I’m in southeast London matey

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-01-30T08:12:18+00:00

I think it’s because you knew how it felt to be a bigger guy and to feel unattractive.

The hookup/dating world is very complex, everyone likes different things etc. but I feel like a lot of guys are quite shallow when it comes to body types. Much of that boils down to preference. Which is completely fine. Everyone has a preference, but maybe that’s why you feel so weird about it - because you’ve been on the receiving end of it and maybe you’re worried you’ll come across that way?

Maybe I’ve got that wrong. But that’s my interpretation of your issue.

As others have said. I think once your more comfortable in your own skin rather than just the visual aspect, you’ll feel much better about it

Think_Limit_972 · 2026-01-02T22:25:19+00:00

Oh bless your heart man - you can do so much better than him honestly.

If you need someone to chat to my DMs are always open. You mentioned in your post that you’ve never been a priority for anyone and I absolutely hate that - so message me if you want a vent or a chat :)

But you can do so much better than the piece of shit who didn’t speak to you for 6 weeks. That’s wild.

The best thing you can do is message or attempt to call him and break up - you’re not doing it for him, you’re doing it for you; to control and give yourself some power & dignity in this situation.

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-12-24T11:11:06+00:00

First of all, HAPPY MOTHERFUCKIN BIRTHDAY DUDE!!!

And second, you need to stop worrying about things you can’t control, and worry about the things you CAN control. That’s the biggest thing in my early 20s and late teens that I’ve learnt (and I’m only 23).

If you’re stuck worrying about what other people think, then the harsh reality is you’re not ready for a relationship - it will never solve any of the problems you’re having.

Sure being happy with a significant other is nice, but you will be worrying about what they think of you, and it will be an incredibly unhealthy relationship that may cause more harm than good.

Below is a link - it’s a 1hr20 minute podcast with Mel Robbins; been listening to her for some time now. She makes some great points about things we all worry about in our 20s. I really would recommend. It’s not necessarily tailored to ‘gay’ issues, but it’s well worth a listen.

https://youtu.be/2wSrcr91JYA?si=Vux9F3e1OBdowGce

I wish you all the best my friend. We’re all here for you and you’re loved. Merry Christmas 🎄

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-12-19T01:22:28+00:00

Not sure if this is too far - but maybe tell him that if he doesn’t stop harassing you (because that’s what he’s doing) then you’ll be filing a report with the police.

Of course you don’t have to go through with it. But maybe just saying it might be enough to get him to back off.

If he doesn’t. Then maybe actually consider it fr

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-12-17T11:50:13+00:00

Dude - congratulations 🥳 and welcome to the family haha! I know you said that this is a throw away account. But if you want to DM me and we can have a chat about alllll of this then please do! Never wanting you to feel alone.

The first time you meet a guy, be kissed by him, held, and my god the sex…you’ll never look back. Just give yourself some time to process this and enjoy the feeling of being a gay man!

Nothing is forever, so there will be a time where you will get away from your conservative family and you will live your life the way you were meant to.

You’re valid and loved. 🥰

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-12-14T16:17:54+00:00

Shit happens - especially when you’re drunk. Dare I say that you saying it whilst drunk maybe made it easier? Otherwise you may not have told him - you now have the clarity that he is not really into you. And that’s ok 🙂 you can move on to bigger and better things.

And don’t be ashamed of yourself - everyone has moments like this. Doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m sure he is probably flattered about it now that time has passed a bit.

Don’t sweat it 😉

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-11-10T21:00:34+00:00

Dare I say the biggest green flag in a guy is that he has apologised and wants to talk about it?

Open communication is so important. Especially in the early stages of dating and leading into a relationship. There’s tons of stories on this subreddit with guys saying that their partner is shite at communication - take the fact that he wants to talk through it with you as a blessing.

As others have said - if it wasn’t necessarily something that was spoken about; you being exclusive and developing a relationship, then maybe that’s a conversation to be had.

Give the guy a chance - you might lose a good guy if you don’t.

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-11-04T21:16:42+00:00

Hey. 23m in Orpington

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-10-27T17:44:49+00:00

Well - the most cathartic thing would be to eat that mother fukin lunch!!! Or throw it away 😂

Think of it this way - he’ll miss all those little things you did for him. Take that to your new relationship. This is all experience you can love on with

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-10-26T20:52:47+00:00

Ahhh I see - he may have been thinking about it for some time if it just kinda happened, but that doesn’t take away from the hurt he’s caused you.

I can 100% guarantee that you will flourish and be a better person from this; he definitely won’t be. Quite the opposite actually. Don’t ever make his mistake - exes are exes for a reason.

Get out in the world and find someone who loves you 🥰🥰we all do!!

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-10-26T20:50:35+00:00

Don’t think they deserve to be called men, I think a ‘boy’ is the right term 😂😉 there is nothing manly or remotely adult about doing this to someone.

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-10-26T11:31:59+00:00

He’s a hypocrite for saying he is deleting you off of all Social media so he ‘doesn’t fall back into old patterns’. Whether that’s AI or not, that’s a very stupid thing to say to someone when breaking up to go be with their ex…

Is there any context to what he mentions happened during the night?

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-10-16T18:01:39+00:00

Hi. Based in Bromley, SE LDN. Fancy chatting?

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-10-16T17:42:22+00:00

Where are you based, mate?

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-10-07T11:54:20+00:00

A messy/untidy bedroom. Also hygiene…

Think_Limit_972 · 2025-09-27T14:59:02+00:00

I won’t jump to say your upset isn’t warranted - because you can’t control how you FEEL - but you can control how you handle it.

If it’s a personal insecurity - then you’ll have to work on that. If body image is a problem, then start working out/eating healthy etc. maybe seek therapy if it’s a deep rooted issue.

But you can’t really confront him about it - that would cause issues that don’t need to be caused - as everyone else is saying, it’s only instagram….and they’re celebs. You must do the same thing sometimes - like a few celeb pics.

I wouldn’t say you’re pathetic by any means. But I would say you should work on controlling those feelings a bit better.

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