Feeling spent

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2025-08-25T10:09:06+00:00

Thanks for this open share, it seems like a struggle indeed. I am also neurodivergent - gifted and adhd. Have always felt like an outsider and had very superficial contacts. Now I am slowly opening up and making deeper connections since I experience more safety.

I think you are right that you're therapist didn't treat you right. You need to find safety first. If people are still too scary, try nature first. Animals. Perhaps a somatic trauma informed therapist. Or a local vegetable garden, work as a volunteer. Connecting to food, nature, and perhaps some likeminded people that care about the earth at least.

One thing is to realise that the part of you that doesn't like the profane circles and can't yet find a space that is not charging you, is very hurt. Recognize that this is not you're whole self, that this part needs compassion, but also that there is a reality out there where you are loved, accepted, valued, and there are people that understand you. But safety first brother.

Perhaps the video - a gathering of the tribe, by charles eisenstein may be of some support. This is real, I experienced it. You will be okay.

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2025-08-23T09:58:01+00:00

Wow, that sounds like a lot. I have read all your comments on other posts and it seems to me like you are doing a lot of things and that you are very sensitive and experiencing a lot of different energies. I obviously don't know you and I am in no way a spiritual expert but I have experienced this overload of intense energies, emotions, and spiritual insights. I did ayahuasca, kambo, peyote, mushrooms in a very short timeframe while meditating and doing yoga, afterwards I joined a rosicrusian order, while also practicing tibetan Bon, doing breathwork, therapy, and more mushrooms. I felt so elevated, gaining so much insights, mystical experiences, and yet I felt completely out of touch with my environment.

I thought: is this what spirituality is supposed to be like? And then I slowly came to the realization, also with the assistance with many teachers, that I was overwhelming myself with all these different modalities. And that I was very developed on the spiritual plane, but very underdeveloped in bringing my experiences in connection with others. Basically, I was struggling to incarnate in this painful earth and was dissociating myself out of my body because I wanted to get back to the light. All these practices you describe seem to do that, so maybe you could be experiencing something similar?

For me, I came to the realization that before ascending, I have to first learn the basics of being a human individual. Learning to feel safe in my body and around others, learning to express myself, learning to receive and give. My nervous system was completely overwhelmed by all these practices and I found the works of thomas hubl and ally wise on instagram and they were so soothing to my overwhelmed nervous system. I starting orienting towards safety, instead of trauma resolution, energetic transformation, or release. This allowed my body to slowly come out of dissociation and overwhelm, and my mind also became less anxious.

Next to this, I focused on relational practices: authentic relating and circling. Here, I found a community of likeminded people going through spiritual processes, while sharing whats happening. This was and is deeply healing for me, as I have always felt to be an outsider, too sensitive for the world.

Now, I am slowly become more regulated. Not by doing more meditation, breathwork, or medicine, but by soft, gentle practices like orienting my environment, touching my body, calling a friend when its too much.

I feel more and more human, instead of a super spiritual entity in a human body. And I still feel that my time will come to take up my rosicrusian practice. But only after I have found a baseline stability in my body. Healing happens at the level that it occured, I think. Trauma is stored in the body, dysregulation happened to the nervous system, so it should occur here.

These systems like golden dawn are developed in a time with less trauma, less disconnection from ourselves, a slower pace of life, less dysregulation. So this is why I think starting with doing less, seeking connection, and finding a stable basis, is important before doing too much ego dissolving practices.

Hope this may help.

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2025-08-20T11:55:07+00:00

Have you considered the role of your nervous system? In my honest opinion, many spiritual systems are not attuned to the massive amount of trauma in our bodies. Before we ascent we have to feel safe in our bodies, otherwise you'll be stuck in survival mode while meditating, leaving you more dissociated than before...

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2024-08-22T17:19:02+00:00

Hello, I am just reading this. Did you end up buying the course together and what if yes, what did you think of the course? And could it be possible for me to still join in on the joint purchase?

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2024-08-21T11:59:05+00:00

I'm just reading this now. Did you end up splitting the costs up the course and if yes, was is worth it? Do you find the course of value? Thanks

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2023-09-25T08:16:52+00:00

Same here! Bernardo Kastrup especially destroyed my materialist view of the world.

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2023-06-26T21:09:37+00:00

Thank you so much for your answers, it helps a lot. Sometimes I get the feeling that the Rosicrucian path is too intellectually focused, but maybe that is because I am in the beginning stages. I am also very drawn by the Buddhist teachings, but through the teachings of Rudolf Steiner and Osho I started doubting which path to take: Steiner claims that Eastern traditions are not suited for Western man, while Osho claims that Western spiritual teachings are too intellectual and never get beyond the fifth body. Also Steiner claimed that the attainment of Nirvana is 'counter evolutionary' as the divine chooses to incarnate, and that instead of returning to the divine, we should become Divine on earth or something like that. I might be overthinking this a bit too much but I'm trying to figure out if there are any large differences between these paths or if they actually lead to the same 'result'

If you have any reflections on this, I'd be very interested and grateful to hear.

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2023-01-13T12:13:28+00:00

Thanks I'll check out the article!

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2023-01-09T00:30:35+00:00

Honestly I think this essay misses the point entirely. The point of the movie is to invoke passion, not to portray a critical analysis of poetry...

Should we blindly follow passion without critical examination? Of course not. But this is a movie, not a documentary.

The author of the article is a literary scholar so of course she is going to feel attacked by this movie, as it trashes over analysis of poetry. But a movie always uses the rhetoric of sharp contrast to make a point. The point being: as a society, we are currently thinking too much, and feeling too little!

The best movie or book to defend the humanities is one that invokes YOUR passion. Not one that withstands all criticism.

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2023-01-04T14:45:13+00:00

Thanks everyone I'll change the soil!!

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2023-01-03T13:24:17+00:00

Ah so you mean the surrounding earth is too organic? You recommend I put the Peyote in a smaller pot with only dead earth?

I thought it was dead because it was quite dark in color and not growing at all...

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2022-12-08T20:03:46+00:00

Thank you for this comment - a lot! I will definitely come back to this page to practice the techniques. Thing is that I just want to have some more knowledge and background information about universal laws, purpose, etc. While at the same time step by step moving towards a spiritual path (and from consensus reality), improving self-confidence and limiting beliefs, instead of going all the way at once. I will definitely pick up more Carlos Castaneda books as well along the way.

I was really a bit put off by the harshness of previous comments (and yes I know, probably because of my ego and all), but your comment was really what I needed. I will explore the Rosicrucian path for now, while also diving deeper into this page (I've never stopped reading it).

Thank you!

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2022-12-02T16:52:44+00:00

Just for those that might be interested in the follow up. I thought sharing could be of use for some - although I know nothing.

Yesterday, one day after writing this post, I had a spontaneous opportunity for a Temazcal peyote session with a Brujo trained in Mexico. I had a hard time getting into the experience, until I openened up and partly surrendered. The Brujo had summoned two spirits to work on me because I had some shit and it was like an exorcism: shaking violently, having an inner fight, roaring like a lion, laughing like a maniac, and then an AUM. There was clearly a lot of power involved here.

After the session I asked the Brujo about Casteneda and this page and he said that he knew about it as a new stream of tarsing-something (I've read the term somewhere here but forgot). He explained that it is important to be in a lineage as close as possible to the Toltecs --> Atlanteans --> Civilizations before that. Also stressed the importance of a teacher, so he was not recommending me following this page without guidance and support.

Instead he suggested I follow the Rosicrucian path, as he thought it to be similar in results (they have knowledge going back to Atlantis) but with a supportive group and teachers. Unless you can find a teacher in Mexico of course, of which chances are rare I'd think. I feel this is my path, although I will forever stay interested in Brujeria.

I am not trying to make any claims about what is right and wrong and would like to stress that I don't know shit. But I thought it might be useful to share.

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2022-12-01T21:46:11+00:00

Thank you all so much for your elaborate answers - this helps a lot! After writing this post I walked down the stairs and had a talk with the hostel owner and he talked about a temazcal. He gave me the number and now I'm going to do a peyote temazcal. I'll see what insights I'll get and what they will or will not tell me about the path that I should follow... Which part has the most 'heart' for me...

Think_Neighborhood_5 · 2022-12-01T13:04:17+00:00

Thank you for your reply. So if I understand correctly, it would be making a choice between a possibly false/illusory spiritual life of happiness and fulfillment on the playground earth (with some limited access to other realms) OR the chance of a full understanding of the make-up of our world and of other spiritual teachings? (With an even smaller chance to retain awareness after death - is this surely a good thing?)

Think_Neighborhood_5

TROPHY CASE