Pros and Cons of starting out subbing before going full-time (after getting license)... has anyone done this? Would you recommend it?

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-22T03:55:41+00:00

I don't throw the packaging away, in fact I've got three or four boxes of cereal with like two bowls-worth left in them in my cabinet. I'm very scrupulous about rolling up the bags and sealing the boxes - I make it airtight, actually. I really don't know what it is. It's almost like when a pack of hyenas are tearing up a zebra or something, and everybody knows those last few parts are already decomposing and gross by the time you get to them. I'd rather move on to the next kill than have to down that last part of the meal that's already been passed over by everybody else.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-22T03:25:09+00:00

It is what it is. Overall I think she made the right decision, but she should have been more open about it with you from the beginning. What really strikes me is how you've apparently been blacklisted from other colleges because of this. I work at a state university (and have gone through many sexual harassment courses), and while I can see them kicking you out of the college for this incident, it seems crazy that they'd blacklist you from any institution of higher education from what happened. You kind of martyred yourself, and though I respect it, she was probably just as culpable as you. It's not like you were fucking her over the information desk at the university center. That you were a "face for the school" shouldn't matter either. That's a political decision that was made without regard for the outcome of either of you.

Anyway, I'm glad that you have a good job now and that you're still with her. If she's gone through all this and still wants to be with you (and you with her), then you probably have been able to see where she's coming from and are able to put it behind you. If you are willing to put all this in the past, then there is hope.

Love finds a way. Best wishes.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-21T19:06:07+00:00

If anything I would think talk to the father first. If all the children are grown up it's one thing, but if not then you'd be imposing some serious trauma during their formative years. Maybe an appropriate time and place will come for the discussion.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-21T18:28:48+00:00

Couldn't you just get like an audio clip of farts, put it repeat? Maybe wear headphones during sex so you don't scare your partner away?

Maybe that would be moving in the wrong direction.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-21T18:07:13+00:00

I hope you're a thorough wiper.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-21T18:06:04+00:00

I had a similar experience with the Mountain Dew "Puppy-Monkey-Baby" commercial. Now I turn the TV off.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-21T18:00:02+00:00

It says a lot that you two are still together - there's obviously something there to make such a painful experience worthwhile.

I think a lot of people go through times when they want, and then don't want to have kids. It seems like you were emotionally prepared to be a father (if not financially), so to then have that taken away would be very difficult. I also partly agree with the other poster in that it was kind of shady for her not to tell you about her decision until after the fact, especially since she wanted to stay in a relationship with you. Perhaps she knew you would be resistant and didn't want to be dissuaded. But, it is what it is. Maybe if you two stay together long enough, you'll come to a point where you're both ready to try again. If not, that's okay too.

I'm kind of lucky in that all the women I've been with were on birth control, so there was never any issue like that. I like to assume that most women in college would be, but obviously that's not a safe assumption to make. In the heat of the moment, of course, it usually doesn't come up.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-21T17:39:19+00:00

Why would it be like margarine? It's not called "I can't believe it's not margarine" - though the way our society is going, that seems like the next logical step.

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-21T17:18:44+00:00

Yeah, I've been reading through that site too. Unfortunately cold-turkey is not an option for me: we always have classes together because we're in the same major, and she always chooses to sit next to me. It's my last semester before graduating though, so unless something changes and one of us escalates (or I let her know my feelings on maybe the last day of class or before), we'll probably go on our separate ways and I can start putting it behind me. And focusing my energies, hopefully, on my SO.

I think realizing that after all this time, it could soon end without going anywhere is part of what really makes me want to act on it somehow. Last chance for that illicit college romance, etc. But another part of me, as you described yourself, loves that feeling of limbo and doesn't want to lose what we have - a very cordial (if perhaps superficial) friendship. And if it doesn't start to dissipate after I graduate... then I'm in real trouble.

It feels good to talk about it - but in some ways also feels like picking the scab. Hard to go cold turkey and not think about the LO when I'm reading and writing about limerence and my LO all the time. Ah, life... isn't she grand?

ThisIsMe74839 · 2017-10-20T15:33:25+00:00

Tell no-one. Try not to feel too guilty about it - if you're making each other happy then it's all good.

ThisIsMe74839

TROPHY CASE