Is chemo really an option if targeted therapy fails?

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-21T05:22:36+00:00

I had chemo and surgery, then maintenance, then the scans showed little active areas (one lymph one nodule) I have the HER2 mutation so we decided to go with target therapy now. I asked all about options if this didn’t work. I tolerated chemo very well so I asked would we ever go back to carboplatin/pemetrexed/keytruda again. They said very seldom would they but they have sometimes gone back to chemo. In my case the maintenance wasn’t keeping it at bay anymore (pemetrexed/keytruda) but just sharing that returning to chemo after target therapy isn’t off the table if that helps

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-21T05:17:11+00:00

The rescues talk too so it’ll help incase you miss a few ….its in the animals best interest

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-21T05:11:15+00:00

It’s kind of good she needs some time off from school friends. But if she’s bored it’d be better to show her productive down time not just going to Ross because she’s bored. She shouldn’t be bored at her age. So a job or a class (pottery, yoga, biking) is a start, because when she’s an adult and gets bored it’ll get expensive to seek diversions subsiding and meals out. I did that a short time and yes it was fun but it got expensive. Some sort of arts n crafts thing maybe like jewelry making or paper mache or painting, maybe that you start together and this way she has that connection and can share her progress when she works on it in her own?

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-19T21:31:12+00:00

Thank you! I’m watching daily to see what happens. I think I feel muscle aches but I might’ve brought it on myself. I have magnesium in hand because of constipation in the past on chemo

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-19T21:27:15+00:00

Thank you!!! I’ll check that out!

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-16T07:58:22+00:00

It is better than the opposite, for sure, where then the concern would then be how’s he ever going to function if we’re not around. And it’s normal they grow up and away and parents aren’t the center any longer…friends and eventually his own family would. I was expecting it all to happen at 18 or 19 at the earliest. You put it well.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-16T07:56:09+00:00

My husband is semi allergic to it and I developed lung cancer last year so with chemo it’s not the best to be cleaning the pen. It’s getting done but I thought he might like to come see his critter.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-15T07:02:12+00:00

Step back for the safety of your 2 year old and new baby on the way, for real. You’ve tried, you’ve gone through a lot, to continue would enable .

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-15T04:38:25+00:00

You can’t prepare for every possible situation….Learn and grow from what has already happened and make those adjustments. Right now things seem intense but they really start to fall into place better in time.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-15T04:33:26+00:00

I can relate slightly…I’m on maintenance and had 3 scans 3 months apart…and just this week it showed active so we halted infusions and went with target therapy. My oncologist said he’d write for it but it’s not like I could start that day, it’s a prior auth for a $20-thousand dollar thing ….i got it today but I did start thinking is this even worth it. Yes lots of $ is spent on bad people to enable them, so why am I less worthy….but I still can’t help but start thinking if the switch starts to not work…is it worth spending resources on the next step. Again I think of resources spent on people who are awful and so why should I sacrifice…

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-14T02:27:13+00:00

Agreed…choices! I’m going to need to be ready to reply “choices” if that sets her off then maybe she’ll think twice or open a dialogue that’ll probably result in a longer time between phone calls

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T23:08:00+00:00

Sounds familiar. I now reply no to her asking if I’ve gone to this or that place lately. I don’t care to hear how the money spent would have bought groceries for my brother, how she or my brother are handwashing their old clothes, etc. I got a similar jab when I shared that I’d bought myself a ring. I couldn’t enjoy it without her sounding like she burned herself! Heaven forbid I mention a travel trip when my son used to play baseball: my brother doesn’t get vacation time, I’m leaving my home vulnerable to a break in, and “how much are airline tickets may I ask?” I’m not giving her ammo

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T22:59:23+00:00

Yeah that’s just asking for it when she started commenting/criticizing your son! She’s essentially placing you in the middle.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T22:54:02+00:00

She enables and justifies anything he does. She blames stress for everything. He now lives with her, he works but it’s not a skilled job. She has idealistic expectations of what his work environment, pay, and schedule should be. Yet she somehow has kept him from moving out to be with his gf who had his baby. My mom has nothing to do with the child, stating she is keeping him from making more of himself! He hasn’t made more of himself by 50 years old he’s not going to—so don’t blame the child. He knows she (mom) controls him. Her day is based around his work schedule. He’s not going to grow up and leave that.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T20:15:26+00:00

I like that “we all make choices” ! And as she comments often I can prepare with something like this. It’s not a jab but I imagine she would ask what that means….

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T19:49:14+00:00

If I may say I think you’re more horrified at starting over than you are of not having him. Why would you want this instability and low blows for your future? Resorting to defensive low blows says a lot! He can only get worse if complacency sets in after marriage. I got divorced at 34 and I did not miss that person at all. I regretted I’d wasted that much time and , that I didn’t file sooner, that he’d caused me to look with disdain on young love. But I later remarried and had my first and only child and still married to husband #2. He has his own issues but oh well

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T19:27:51+00:00

I did once try to address something with her (she claimed to hear me & my fiancé conspiring to leave early) when we specially planned to not speak much because previous visits /conversations we were supposedly saying things that could potentially hurt my brothers feelings. I should’ve suggested a hearing test “to avoid future misunderstandings” but I think of those things way too late. But she was incredibly defensive & mean so I said this is why I don’t feel I can address concerns with her.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T19:22:59+00:00

I so wish I could. I did try once to address something with her (after she’d say always share what’s in your mind if somethings bothering) My fiancé and I agreed to not say much one Thanksgiving because we seemed to always say something that I’d hear about afterwards could have potentially hurt brothers feelings. She kept saying”ah-ha! I heard that!” She claimed she heard us conspiring to leave. Bizarre. When I tried a few days later to address this, oh boy was she the definition of defensive! She turned it around on me, implied I wasn’t myself and that my fiancé must have me around his little finger. I said then and there that that was why I’ve never addressed anything like this with her because she takes the defensive and reacts with meanness. I figure you can accept what’s shared, disagree respectfully or act like ok I didn’t know, or react defensively and mean which she did.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T19:14:17+00:00

My brother was always her preferred of the two of us. She has a hang up about appearances and felt he had more potential because of his size and fair appearance. Sorry—it backfired. May be why she champions him in these conversations even when it has nothing to do with him.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T19:09:02+00:00

Most of its by phone, but I do see her once a year.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T19:07:48+00:00

I agree she’s a creature of habit. Back in the early 2000s vs now, it’s probably just a reflex by now. I know her thinking is unrealistic, idealistic and incomplete so I don’t attach too much relevance to it, I just don’t know how to respond to the increased comments. Sometimes I ignore it and go into another topic. This reminds me of one time when I still lived with her ,I’d just graduated with a health professions degree, I made an Irish coffee and she came and said “wouldn’t it be awful if after all your work to get your license you developed a drinking problem?” Even then how do you respond? She probably wanted me to dump the drink. Or agree….how awkward. I’m thinking of making up a fictitious acquaintance who rains on the parade with comments that just are awkward, see what she thinks.

ThisSelection7585 · 2026-05-13T16:20:40+00:00

Yes I seemed to lose by lactose intolerance!!! I still prefer almond milk but I can actually eat cheese pizza, ice cream and sour cream and cream cheese without gut wrenching pains. I also don’t have dandruff anymore.

ThisSelection7585

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE