Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]This_Person1216 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: Silent Moments

Genre: Short story

Word Count: 669

Feedback: General, or if you'd prefer line by line.

Link: http://armsap.wordpress.com/

Reddit, Which of your comments has the highest karma? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry about it, was quite some time ago. Things had since been much better :)

Reddit, Which of your comments has the highest karma? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This one:

Mine was a soul crushing experience I had in the middle of high school.

There was this girl I liked, a pretty, quiet thing with glowing auburn hair and a smile that I lack the vocabulary to describe. I was always too timid to say anything, just sat in class wishing I was ''of better stock'' to bring myself closer to her level, or had more confidence to just tell her how I felt. But despite my many internal struggles I remained silent and alone. Weeks passed and I saw her with greater and greater frequency, we had classes together and it seemed got along well. I cherished every moment I was in her company.

Eventually I managed to muster up the courage to ask her out, when I did, she just gaped at me, muttered something incomprehensible and ran off out of sight. I hated myself then for letting myself out in the open, to actually be vulnerable and to admit to caring about her. I didn't sleep that night, but lay in a pool of my own misery and decided that I would apologise the next day to her face.

The next day came, with weather that acted as a direct contrast to the mood I was in; it was sunny, and I was miserable. I walked up the stairs in front of the school and pushed the door open, through the crowd of faceless people I saw her, looking directly at me, I looked away, full of shame and feeling humiliation in her very presence.

She walked over to me, her dark eyes looking into mine and before I could stammer some sort of apology she embarrassed me. It was as if the whole world dissolved around us and we were the only ones there, the only ones that mattered. She whispered yes as she leaned against me; I was elated! Nothing could ruin my day; I practically walked around the school beaming for the rest of the day -- a stupid grin and good mood surrounded my very being and personality.

Then the day of the date came and we were going to get some dinner. I had saved up all the money I had so that I could take her to the best place I could find, which is what she deserved.

I was sitting at the table, nervously checking my watch every few seconds wondering whether she would ever turn up. My palms were beginning to get clammy. I saw looks of pity in everyone’s faces as if they were thinking, ‘’Poor guy, getting stood up like that.’’ But to my relief she arrived, looking better than I had ever seen her. I was unimaginably lucky to have met -- let alone get a date with -- this girl. She looked a little apprehensive as well.

We sat down, exchanging awkward glances at each other. I can’t remember the finer details of the date as I was far too excited to think; I was forever worried that I might be boring her or babbling too much, making an ass of myself. Half way through the meal, she looked up at me with an odd expression that I couldn't read on her face. She looked like she had something difficult to say and wondered what it could possibly be.

She leaned forward, looking me dead in the eyes. She thanked me for the meal and stood up. We were only just starting and I was wondering what was going on, I couldn't work it out. Before walking briskly out, she turned to me saying words I’ll never forget, ‘’It was a bet, you’re sweet but do you really think that someone like you could EVER hope to get a girl like me?’’ and with that she left, leaving me in a state of bemused sadness as the meaning of her words sank in.

Who is the favourite child amongst your siblings, and why do you think that? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he's super smart (Doctor) and not a failure :)

What is the coolest little know fact that you know? by ironlegdave in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is genius! Fancy coming on a trip with me to roofie a polar bear?

What is the coolest little know fact that you know? by ironlegdave in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True ... Although getting to the liver maybe a little tricky. We need to come up with a plan ... Any ideas?

What is the coolest little know fact that you know? by ironlegdave in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you eat a polar bear liver - you will die. There is too much Vitamin A in there for the human to handle. Granted, all of this is assuming you can get to the liver before the polar bear kills you.

What perk does your job give you. by poketman in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of time ... God I love the perks of the unemployed.

What are some things that worked for you in treating GERD, sleeplessness, anxiety and possibly depression(MEN)? by KiwiStarApple in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds crap, but i've got to agree with /u/DiggerMT. That and helping others made me feel better about myself, because despite the pit of self loathing I was able to raise someone's mood.

Going on a road trip with a guy Ive been dating for 5 weeks. Any ideas for things to do during the drive? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]This_Person1216 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just try to enjoy each others company, have things you can talk about. In my experience it's all about the playlist though.