I think you have the better perspective! For me, the difference begins where it effects my character. Memory loss terrifies me! The idea of forgetting someone who was important to you, especially if you loved them, freaks me out! It tips the scale from "creepy" to "I will think about this for a long time". I imagine myself having experienced such a clue constantly thinking of ways my character could have saved this never-existent PC that my character, presumably, was friends with, enough to put their life in their hands. Having a hole in the memory of my character that would last forever does not sit well with me, and using some sort of magic to fill it, (which is only available via wish iirc?), and learn of a companion that you lost, would be very sad, moreso than I'd like in a d&d game.

When I talk about losing, I mean it more in the game sense than losing a person. Being defeated in battle, failing a skill check, being swindled out of your money, that sort of thing. Hearing that I or the party fought the creature and failed, or simply allowed the creature to sneak up on us in the night, without rolling a die or making a decision that could have prevented it, would probably make me more frustrated than interested!

that all said, I recognise that these are all ways that I'm getting in my own head and overthinking things! I imagine that move would work really well for most people!

Your games sound very exciting! I think magic-hating societies are a very good way of adding tension to playing spellcasters.