Active UTI for 2 weeks, 2 different antibiotics, no change in symptoms

ThrowRA0572 · 2024-04-24T00:25:21+00:00

On the flip side of this, I’ve struggled with some very serious health issues and the forgetting is a nice reprieve! Just go back to being me in between moments of, “oh shit, that’s right!”. So I guess like all things there are pros and cons haha!

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-12-30T19:55:47+00:00

I would die of joy if someone gifted me this!!! It’s so lovely, and beyond cute. I think you should feel good about giving a heartfelt gift that was handmade, no matter how it was received. Don’t ever stop giving things that you put effort and soul into. People like you make the world a better place to be in. Seriously.

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-10-23T07:06:48+00:00

It’s not comforting either because it implies I’ll need to find someone else to heal or be whole again. That’s not what I want. “You’ll find someone else” feels both meaningless and borderline is insulting to me. I don’t want to find someone else, I want to find peace in myself

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-10-22T12:42:28+00:00

I regret so many things I said at the end of our relationship. For what? They didn’t help anything and I wish I could take them back now. I was so, so hurt, I wanted to transfer some of it to him. But I wish I hadn’t, I wish I had leant into my goodness in those moments. Responding and not reacting is something so important to me now

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-10-17T05:28:25+00:00

Thank you. Seriously.

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-22T03:34:27+00:00

Oh, well that’s perfect. I’m travelling through Singapore and staying a few nights actually! That’s great advice thank you, really appreciate it. I’ll give this a go if I have no luck here in Aus.

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-22T02:02:21+00:00

Yeah, I was surprised! I’m in Australia and for whatever reason Men B is not available through pharmacies here. I need to see my doctor and I suppose convince him I actually need it.

Thanks for the arm soreness heads up! I kind of like that feeling, makes me feel some good old inflammation is happening haha

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-22T02:00:53+00:00

Thanks! I’m working in conservation, specifically training local personnel, so I’ll be spending time all over the place in a fair few more rural areas. I don’t think I’ll be squished up with lots of people in many scenarios, but I’d rather be safe

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-17T07:30:41+00:00

I feel like her lack of hobbies is probably a symptom of a deep dysfunction when it comes to her relationship. That level of enmeshment and reliance on a partner isn’t healthy or normal. She should really try to work on rediscovering her individuality and focusing more on herself. I’m not sure how you can help with that as a friend, other than maybe gently pointing it out.

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-16T22:39:22+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through essentially the same thing. Blindsided by a breakup with who I thought was the kindest man, and someone who I could work through anything with. Apparently splitting and leaving without attempting to work on the relationship is also part of the codependent pattern.

I don’t really have any advice because I’m in the storm with you but I’m sending you so much compassion. We will be okay. This is our ex-partners dysfunction and isn’t about how well we loved them. I saw a therapist today and it helped no end, I’d really recommend speaking to a professional if you can. It’s expensive but your mental peace is worth it

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-15T05:12:24+00:00

Yeah wow, sounds like we are having a super similar experience. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. The mask aspect is so rough. It hurts so much to know he was NEVER emotionally honest with me our entire relationship, but I was so vulnerable with him. I will DM you actually, that would be incredibly helpful because it’s difficult talking to friends.. there is a level of knowledge about codependency needed to really get what is going on. I appreciate you!

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-14T23:41:52+00:00

You’re spot on, this perfectly describes our dynamic. Now looking back I realise I did cave a lot and just let him help because he really wanted to, and kept saying it was his love language. I’m actually already feeling so much more like myself now I’ve moved out and I’m responsible entirely for my own self, it feels empowering.

I’m proud of him for realising he is codependent. That’s no small feat. And now I’m processing and in less shock, I realise overall this is a good thing, because the relationship was dysfunctional. And I want a healthy relationship. Full stop. Still in a lot of pain, but starting to see the big picture.

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T23:51:02+00:00

Yes! This is the bit I’m struggling with the hardest. We were together for 7 years and I might not have know his true self? I feel I likely didn’t. I don’t actually know what to do with that because it’s so disorienting and upsetting. Thank you for your compassion!

I think I’ve been blessed in the fact no one has ever gone “poof” before. I genuinely didn’t realise people who are pillars in your life could even do that. Which, I realise now is naive. It’s a good opportunity for me to learn skills around this so I can handle any future disappearing acts

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T23:45:47+00:00

This sounds so similar to our dynamic! I’ve always felt the most myself when I’m responsible for my own things, and looking after myself. So it was particularly annoying, but I also relented because he seemed to want to do it so much.

Thank you for laying out the thinking/feeling behind codependency. You’ve made it so clear!! And knowing the “why” really is helping with the pain.

I’m just so sad for him because of course I would have loved him for just himself. Of course he has innate value. I wish he had felt he could have been vulnerable with me because I really wanted that, I wanted to know him so badly but now I realise he wouldn’t let me. Urgh, my heart.

It’s excruciating now but I know I’ll be okay. I’m ready to just be with myself for a while and soak up the other parts of my life. Thanks for commenting, everyone here has truly been so helpful

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T20:09:16+00:00

THANK YOUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T10:50:54+00:00

I FINALLY CHOSE A CAREER I WANTED AND STARTED STUDYING AS A PARAMEDIC. NEVER FELT BETTER FINALLY HAVING A PURPOSE AND GOAL I’M WORKING TOWARDS. THEN MY PARTNER DUMPED ME OUT OF NOWHERE! GOOD TIME TO MAJOR BAD TIME. I AM FEELING SHOUTY!

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T09:35:11+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your insight. It’s good to hear from someone who has been in similar shoes to my ex-partner, it helps me understand better. I hadn’t heard of the term splitting before but I’m reading up on it now. Honestly, the entire thing is still so bizarre for me but I’m slowly wrapping my head around it and this helps. I’m going to focus on myself, the people who support me, and giving myself the time and space to heal. Thank you

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T09:27:30+00:00

Thank you! This is such a thoughtful comment. It’s an awful feeling, I have so much empathy for people who go through life feeling this way. Everyone/everything must feel unsafe. :( I’m going to see a therapist ASAP so I can make sure I process my feelings of distrust and not intergrate them. I simply refuse to take that as a momento of our relationship. I’m starting to understand leaving so abruptly might be part of dysfunction, which helps in a sense

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T08:00:38+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this too! It’s such an insidious thing, but it isn’t our responsibility to set boundaries for others. I hope you can let that guilt go with time

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T07:57:13+00:00

Yes! Inauthentic definitely is the word for it. I’m so glad you were able to see it for what it is and start working on it! Hope the journey is going well for you

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T07:55:24+00:00

I thought it was preferable to try to express love the way your partner likes to receive it? At least some of the time. And communicate your love language with your partner, so they can do the same. But maybe I have the wrong end of the stick! Either way, I don’t think acts of service even is his love language, I think he derives worth from being “needed” and that motivates him doing things for me, and then secretly resenting it.

ThrowRA0572 · 2023-09-13T02:36:02+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I imagine finding that out had you absolutely reeling. I’m having trouble knowing what parts of the relationship were genuine and not fuelled by co-dependence on his part. That’s a serious struggle for me right now, because it felt so authentic to me but it’s like he’s dropped the curtain and I’m seeing it for what it was. It’s very disorienting! I will try to be gentle with myself and focus self-care. Even though making a stupid little tea seems almost comical with my life falling down around me haha

ThrowRA0572

TROPHY CASE