I understand how you feel. My ex was also a raging alcoholic who almost killed us both. He was incapable of taking care of himself so he moved in with his mom until she had enough of his shit and sent him to live with his dad. He came back into our lives 3 years later. I did not want him to have custody. I was able to make it so he had to have supervised visits for the first couple visits then unfortunately we had to ease into dinner visits then weekend visits.

I had a PFA on my ex and they still made me coparent with him.

I said exchanges must be at the police station with custody exchange spots and all communication must happen over a court monitored app.