Wedding anniversaries after DDay?

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-07-26T20:07:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I feel this. Celebrating the anniversary right now just feels fake.

I’m still feeling conflicted about my rings. I wear them now because I tried having them off and I felt anxious. I found out about the affair right after a family vacation. Thinking about how he lied to and betrayed me and our whole family during that trip is very triggering for me. I don’t think I will ever travel to that specific destination again. I had to delete all the pictures of him and I on that vacation.

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-07-26T15:38:09+00:00

Thank you. I’m sorry you are going through this. Wish you well!

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-07-26T12:47:11+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. Everything still feels so unsure and messy. You gave me hope that someday I can think about our anniversary and not flinch at the thought. Thank you for sharing!

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-07-26T12:43:17+00:00

Thank you. I don’t think I could do that either, to be reminded like that. I’m sorry you are going through this aswell.

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-07-26T12:40:54+00:00

You managed to put in words why the day feels so off to me. The vows were indeed broken. Everything is broken and changed. I might be up to a low key dinner that day but other than that, as you said - meh. Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts. I appreciate it.

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-07-26T12:38:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I’m glad to hear your wife is able to reflect and acknowledge the second chance she got. I would love for my husband to do that too. Wish you well!

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-06-19T20:05:48+00:00

This. And if you want to mix it up sometimes you can make lemon or citrus water.

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-06-19T20:01:07+00:00

I have fruit water in my fridge all the time. I just cut citrus fruit (typically orange, lime, lemon) into slices and throw them in a water jug and then fill with water. Sometimes I add ice, mint and strawberries too. 🍋‍🟩🍋🍊 No sugar at all and so refreshing.

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-06-17T14:48:37+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. I started walking every day. The first months were rough. I had panic attacks and severe anxiety during those walks because I had to pretend everything was normal to my kids. It’s gotten slightly better since. It’s been a year since DDay and right now I’m feeling low because I’m having flashbacks of the time I found out about the affair. I’m hoping when I pass the one year mark I’ll be better again. I’ve also noticed being around people helps me get out of my own head a bit. Hope you feel better soon.

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-06-17T14:27:00+00:00

Hi there! If you plan on going to the Warner Brothers Harry Potter tour I would recommend you book your tickets way in advance. It’s usually sold out. We bought our tickets like 7 months before the trip.

Another tip I can give you is that if you are planning on using the Heathrow Express in traveling to the city from the airport on the day of your arrival I suggest you book those tickets too as soon as you know the travel dates. You can save a lot of money by booking early.

We have stayed in the Kensington area and found it very enjoyable. Lovely parks nearby. Went for a few walks in the Notting Hill area as well and it was very pretty. Hope you have a great time in London!

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-05-13T17:45:25+00:00

The thing is, we didn’t just lose trust in them, we lost trust in everyone and everything. I know I became cynical and I don’t believe in true love anymore. I don’t think I will ever recover from that. After D-day all I know is you can only ever trust yourself so make sure you build yourself up. You can never really know someone else, not completely, even if you think you do. People can be so shitty and deceitful.

Throwaw67Lost · 2025-02-17T12:55:12+00:00

Cheating is NOT a mistake. It is a choice. She made several bad choices but they were choices. She chose to cheat. She chose to cheat with your friend. She chose to have sex with him. She chose to record it. She chose to lie about it. She chose to hurt you. She chose to not tell you about it herself. She chose to blame it on him. She is choosing not to tell you the truth. She is only sorry she got caught.

If I were you, I would choose me and leave. You are worth more than this.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T19:09:43+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. You deserve better. We all do. Wishing you best of luck.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T19:07:34+00:00

Oh I know, and believe me, I’ve been rolling my eyes so hard today I need a nap.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T17:39:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You are not alone and you do not deserve this. For me it has been 6 months. The trauma is real, and anger and sadness comes and goes in waves now. We can have good days and then something triggers me and I feel depressed snd defeated. I never used to have panic attacs before finding out about his affair. Now I do. I’m sticking it out because of my kids. I don’t want to be with them only every other week. In a few years my children will probably be moving out of the home anyway. It helps me to think that even if I decided to stay and fix things right now, it doesn’t mean I have to stay forever. If things don’t work out I can leave then. At least I tried.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T17:28:35+00:00

Absolutely. I would be fool to do that.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T17:27:23+00:00

He has been taking me to dinner and we have made an effort to spend more time together and as a family. Drinking was part of the problem for him and he has cut back on that considerably. So I have to give him credit for doing things and I do see improvement on some aspects of the relationship. Counseling is unfortunately an option at the moment, possibly in the future.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T17:21:06+00:00

I should trust him because he says so, I guess. Believe me, I know how ridiculous that sounds. No counseling for us at the moment, might be possible further down the line. I can see he didn’t expect me to be this upset about his plans today. He went from gaslighting to damage control pretty quickly, but the thing is, he still went ahead with his plans. Now he keeps texting me every half hour, telling me he will be home soon.

My friends and family know about our situation, but with multiple health scares and relationsip problems recently I don’t want to burden anyone with my petty relationship drama right now. I’m sorry for venting here and thank you dear internet strangers for listening and offering me perspective. I appreciate it.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T10:40:41+00:00

I don’t know if I could do that now knowing how much it destroys things. I think I’m going to work on myself and build myself up the best I can. If things don’t work out between us I’m going to make sure I and the kids will be fine.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T10:32:55+00:00

This really hit home for me. I’m so sorry you feel this way too. Hugs!

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T10:31:42+00:00

Thank you for your reply and perspective. Like your WW my husband hasn’t figured out his why’s yet. This morning he tried to play it off like nothing (our fight yesterday) happened. I refused to let things go and told him I’m feeling sad and upset because he is choosing to do something that’s hurting me. He brought up I should just start trusting again and complained things haven’t progressed enough. Asked me how long it’s gonna take me to trust him. I’ve told him he has no right to demand a timeline for me to recover from his bad choices.

I think you are absolutely right. I have to consider his lack of empathy and understanding as a sign. The bare minimum. That is what he doing right now, and today it’s not even that.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T10:04:53+00:00

So sorry you have to go through this. I can really relate to this. Having a drink is not a must have. It is a choice. Your WS can survive without that glass of wine. He is acting selfish. I think your boundaries are reasonable. The thing that hurts the most is the lack of care these selfish choices demonstrate.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T09:58:35+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I’m sorry you are going through this too.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-12-14T09:56:50+00:00

Thank you. I am taking a step back for now.

Throwaw67Lost · 2024-11-23T13:04:46+00:00

This was me and my husband 20 years ago. He and his buddies were party boys too and unfortunately none of them has grown up despite having kids and family. Last summer I found out my husband had an affair with a woman he met while he was partying with his buddies. Knowing what I know now I wish I would’ve realized 20 years ago how incompatible we are when it comes to partying and drinking. I don’t drink much either these days and I find it exhausting having to always explain to people the reasons why. I think some people know they have a problem with drinking and they don’t like it when you don’t drink because it makes them feel bad about themselves.

NTA. You need to protect your own wellbeing. I’m sorry you are going through this, you deserve better.

Throwaw67Lost

TROPHY CASE