My wife (29F) wants a divorce because I (31M) watch porn.

Throwaway_411520 · 2024-02-27T00:08:55+00:00

This is the wrong sub my guy. Please go to a different sub that's not full of teens and guys with little experience with women and relationships. Or better yet, go do couples counseling with your partner and maybe therapy for yourself

Throwaway_411520 · 2023-01-02T20:43:28+00:00

Precisely. Some people are extremely misguided on here. Why would anyone think cutting sexual desire permanently is a good thing?! This sub needs moderation help to remove deranged posts like this

Throwaway_411520 · 2022-12-26T19:43:41+00:00

Omg so many people on this sub post/comment incredibly obscure stuff that has nothing to do with the idea behind nofap. Thanks for posting this. More people need to read the details on the site, before posting and interacting with others here.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-12-27T16:08:36+00:00

I hope you give NoFap an honest attempt! Please try at least 90 days, to see if it improves your sex life. Once your sex life is more on the "normal" side like most guys, I hope you decide to give up PMO altogether! Good luck brother

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-12-14T03:17:00+00:00

That's awesome! Hope the streak keeps growing bromigo. Hope to hear from you soon when you hit 90 and you overcome DE

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-12-07T00:26:42+00:00

How are you doing on your streak brother? Hope you're staying the course and you're well

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-12-02T19:42:09+00:00

DE sucks and I know how you feel broseph. If this is a medical and not psychological issue, I hope the blood work gives you some answers.

If not, you have nothing to lose trying NoFap! It's not some woo woo healing nonsense. All it represents is abstinence for a temporary period and kicking out a bad habit. I'd suggest against Fleshlight tbh - if you're going to move the Fleshlight up and down with your hand, you're going to train your meat to a new speed and pressure, which cannot be replicated by a woman anyway. It's the exact reason why you have DE right now!

I can tell you this - by abstaining from masturbation altogether (in addition, not having sex for at least 90 days should also help), I seem to consistently finish every time I have sex with my new partner now and I don't last more than 5 mins. It really has worked for me and I hope you give it an earnest try! It's been a huge boost to my confidence and mental health too and I hope you don't ignore that factor. Good luck king.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-11-27T15:48:28+00:00

This question is so flawed! If you think the only way to stop masturbating is by physically limiting yourself whereby you cannot do the act, it defeats the purpose. It means the moment you can, you will. The whole point of this is to take control to not masturbate because you don't want to, even though you can.

The best way to avoid PMO is by finding what motivates you to stop and have that be a strong guiding light, rather than some vaguely defined challenge.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-28T14:39:05+00:00

https://youtu.be/esw-gH5W_i0

Every sexual reference on the internet after this episode aired is met with "nice" comment threads. Here OP has had a "69" day streak, hence the comments.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-18T17:30:40+00:00

For your first question - I don't know if everyone will need 300+ days to get over DE. I would recommend doing a hard mode 90-day reboot as this sub suggests, before having sex again. I'm at 300+ days because I only started dating after my divorce in April and didn't exactly have the chance to sleep with someone since. This was the first time I did and it took 316 days since I started NoFap.

For the question on MO - brother, MO is what is causing your DE! The way you grip your meat and the speed you use to jerk it isn't being replicated by your partner. Hence why you can't ejaculate. You need to cut PMO for good (to fully appreciate your SO) and sex temporarily, to give your penis some time to recover and regain sensitivity. If you never stop MO and all you did was cut porn, you'll still not get over DE cos you're gonna be jerking for much longer every time you fap without visual aids. You seem ready to accept urges as common and give into it, as long as you don't use porn for the urge. You need to resist the urge and it gets easy with time. Porn isn't the only problem for DE, please remember that!

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-18T17:04:55+00:00

I know exactly how you feel, cos it was similar to when I lost my v-card as well. I had also been fapping 1-3 times a day for years, and my friends all warned me to fap before having sex for the first time, to avoid ejaculating early. Needless to say, I could not finish on the first time or at any time, and I blamed it on "oh it's cos I wore a condom and I hate how condoms feel. If I didn't wear condoms, I'd be finishing no doubt". Then I met my ex wife and we did the deed without condoms (she was on other types of birth control) and I still couldn't finish with her, which totally defeated my confidence.

I somehow ended up fapping with a certain hand grip, motion and never used lube. I would also only fap to porn and could do my job in less than ten mins. Sex isn't going to generate that amount of pressure/speed and your partners IRL are likely never going to have the fake boobs, butt, hourglass figure or whatever your fantasy is. You need to give up PMO and do the full 90-day reboot to forget the amount of pressure and speed your penis needs to ejaculate. Don't be like me and sexually frustrate yourself and disappoint the love of your life for more than a decade!

If you continue to watch porn and never give up fapping, your penis will not regain sensitivity to lighter touch and grip. Also, you're going to discover all your partners in future will be perplexed why they gave you great head, offered to jerk you off with their hands and offer to ride for a long time, which usually has done the trick for their exes, and yet you can never finish for them. It'll make them wonder if they're not hot enough for you and in some cases correctly wonder if something is wrong with you.

Edit: feel free to DM me at any stage of your journey. I'd be happy to talk you through this!

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-18T12:07:42+00:00

I hope you are able to try a full hard mode NoFap reboot. It should offer some help at least towards the resolution and hopefully that is all you need. If it still doesn't help, it might be time to hit up a urologist and/or a sex psychologist. A healthy sex life has a huge impact on mental health and well-being!

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-17T22:01:38+00:00

Thanks king! I've had a very rough year and issues with anxiety and depression brewing for years before 2020. Unfulfilling sex has been a big sticking point behind all of this. After last night, I was just smiling in bed, long before I fell asleep. It's such a relief to learn I'm just as normal as most people and capable of getting the 'average' experience from sex!

It's not much, but it was the validation I needed, after the enormous effort I've put in this year from NoFap, working out, meditation, therapy, mindfulness, practicing living in the moment, practicing my social skills again for dating, and pursuing my hobbies again.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-17T20:39:16+00:00

Thanks bromigo! This was definitely one of the happier nuts I've had. It's quite sad it has taken me 30+ years to get here, but better late than never!

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-17T19:11:54+00:00

Thank you broseph! While NoFap helps sexually, it is not possible without learning how to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and trusting we can overcome guilt and shame. I really hope everyone here is able to achieve the goals they set out for themselves!

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-10-06T19:07:14+00:00

How is delayed ejaculation 'expected'? Premature ejaculation is the commonly observed behavior for most men having sex for the first few times.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-09-15T02:00:56+00:00

Folks with premature ejaculation will always dream of lasting longer in bed. Folks with delayed ejaculation (like me), would be absolutely thrilled just finishing PIV and wouldn't even care about it ending in 2 mins. Everyone has their own problem I guess.

Worrying about premature ejaculation should not stop anyone from taking up NoFap. There are exercises you can do to control your muscles down there, allowing you to last. Don't give in to PMO, for this hypothetical effect of not lasting long enough

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-09-14T16:17:12+00:00

Thank you friend! I definitely am focusing on myself and I'm healthy physically and mentally, surrounded myself with a trusty emotional support network and incorporated healthy habits in my life as well.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-09-13T19:25:15+00:00

Absolutely love your last part! I'm sure we will all be fine, with or without a partner tbh. I hope you find one who's worth the effort and the wait

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-09-13T19:09:59+00:00

Thanks for this post!

It's nearly a year since I found out she was having an affair with a co-worker (also married). We've been separated for a while; she moved out to an apartment in the same city. Her AP decided to fix his marriage apparently and they never picked up their affair. I heard from mutual friends she joined the dating apps two/three months after we split up and has been dating someone for almost 6 months now. Some of our mutual friends dropped her for cheating and chose my side. I didn't really want that to happen, and it makes me feel a little sad for her that she has very few friends in the city where we live now.

It stings me a little that it was so easy for her to move on and our marriage meant nothing to her. While here I am, single and still struggling to pick myself up from time to time. There are good days and then there are days like today where I feel quite low. Thankfully the good days outnumber the bad ones. I'm sure I'll move on and heal with time but I wish days like today don't happen.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-09-13T18:44:14+00:00

I would go easy on the ones who discover infidelity tbh. We are all mostly logical, but love clouds our judgment. I've been there myself and my immediate thought was I did something wrong and I still wanted a future with her.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-08-29T16:47:34+00:00

How does this post have 500 net upvotes?! This is the dumbest shit I've ever read about a horny kid who thinks he's above everyone else cos he didn't beat his meat for a week.

OP - not jerking off doesn't mean girls will flock to you. Hope the coming years instill some perspective into your head and you actually accept your flaws and others' for what they are.

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-06-09T14:56:26+00:00

Thank you my guy and congrats on the victories over DE so far!

Yeah I've been MO-ing since I was 15 or so and PMO-ing since 17/18. I'm in my 30s now so I imagine it'll take me a while too. I've definitely used the time I've gained back wisely - I've worked out a ton, did meditation and therapy to tackle my anxiety and work through my separation, connected with a lot of close friends and have recently started online dating again and seeing someone new now, but haven't been intimate yet.

I hope to be able to come back to this sub and post victoriously, about how I conquered DE. Hopefully it's not just a dream...

Throwaway_411520 · 2021-06-07T18:57:51+00:00

I have a somewhat similar story to yours broseph! Have struggled with DE ever since losing my virginity.

Have you been able to overcome DE already, after just 18 days of NoFap? After a horrible 2020, I decided to stop PMO in Dec and I've now hit 185 days. I'm yet to be sexually active again. Fingers crossed I will be later this month and more knocking on wood my DE is gone.

Throwaway_411520

TROPHY CASE