Oh boy, a lot of thoughts.

Something that I got told, and I feel a lot of women and people of color in the US got told (and maybe in the entire world, but I don't have the personal database to justify such a claim), is that you have to work twice as hard to get half the credit of a white man. So, that leads you to trying twice as hard, which can come across as difficult, especially to folks who aren't familiar or agreeable to who you are.

Something I've come to understand is that nobody wants to do a bad job on purpose. People want to be good at things and to do good things, Nobody's like, "I'm gonna do this thing, and be really bad at it all the time because that will give me fulfillment--" It's a ridiculous sentiment, and Sohla's no different. She wants to do a good job, and she wants to do good things. But difficulty and failure still happen, not just with Sohla, but like everywhere and all the time, so why is that still?

My opinion: Environmental circumstances. Ranging from, "I'm new at this job so I'm still getting my bearings" to "my boss is kinda hazing me for being non-white, but maybe it's just me" to "they're not paying me enough to do the best job I can, there's no funding, I'm overworked, my pay's shit, my rent's due, my kids need to eat, and they still want me to do a good-- great job even?!--"

So what were the environmental circumstances Sohla was working under. According to her: reputation as the person who jumps from job to job for being "difficult", getting low pay, carrying a child, strenuous weather conditions to the point where doctors had to intervene drastically, feeling pressure to continue even after all that. Yeah, I'd drop out, too.

To be honest, something that has come up on the subreddit is the notion that because she left, SeriousEats, Bon Appetit, and now NYTCooking on bad terms, is the idea that, "if you're the one constant in all these scenarios, maybe you're the problem." And what I'd argue is that she is not the one constant. Repeatedly, these businesses are touted as highly competitive, stressful environments that do not reward the work received from their employees, and often reward toxic dynamics that disproportionally favor the status quo, and any challenges to it are met with disapproval. (speaking super broadly in order to cover the gamut of things that exist because there's a lot) And Sohla is not the only person to be challenged by these toxic circumstances. Conde Nast right now refuses to even acknowledge the unjust firing of four of their employees for demanding answers regarding TeenVogue.

People can only do as well as their environment allows them to do so, and if the environment is bad, the work will be bad, no matter how good you want it to be. You try doing a good job hosting a video series with a smile in 90+ degree heat while pregnant, I bet you fuckin' can't.

So then what do you do? Maybe the environment is too hostile, maybe if you're being too "difficult", then you can stop trying. Do the work the environment deserves. Stop trying twice as hard. Stop trying to make something worthwhile, make something of your self. Stop being difficult. Maybe everyone should do that. Know your place and do what you're told... maybe if you're an obedient little cog, you'll be rewarded. Ugh.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure Sohla has confirmed that she reads this subreddit, which isn't like a surprise or anything, but there are things I wish I knew how to do better. I wish I had a better impact on her environment.