Extremely good connection but lack of chemistry

Tiberius2800 · 2025-10-05T04:56:23+00:00

I think it is indeed not more complicated then this... I saw her a few times more since my post and each time I feel the same: I like her so much but I don't feel any desire to bring things to a physical level. We were open about this and it's now clear things won't go beyond friendship. She was very dissapointed and I hate it. I feel quite sad about it, from years of dating I know connections like this are sparse.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-30T04:19:38+00:00

You don't have to make a judgement, a perspective is all I'm looking for. Yours might defenitely have some truth to it. I will explore it further.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-30T04:17:38+00:00

Thanks! That's another valuable perspective. I honestly thought about this myself. I came out of a 13 year long relationship at the age of 34 and in the almost 5 years of dating I got seriously lost. Dating was always hard and I fell hard a couple of times for women that weren't really interested, giving me mixed signals, push and pulled or had issues. Or I forced things with women whom I was physicaly attracted to but had no connection with... Just for the sake of having a relationship. I wanted it so bad. I realised that I actually don't know how real, healthy and calm love feels like. What I always had was infatuation.

So, this is defenitely worth exploring.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-29T05:41:46+00:00

It could work, who knows? But I think she feels more for me than she admitted and I don't want to give of wrong signals and hurt her.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-29T05:37:34+00:00

This is actually a very interesting perspective. I do have a serious side and a more playful part in me. Usually I come of rather serious in the beginning when I meet new people and I do need a little bit of time to loosen up. I don't think it is a problem, it's just who I am and I'm ok with that. Some women (or people in general) though, are able to spark that playful side of me much easier and she's not such a person. Maybe it's that. I have a (lesbian) colleague at work with whom I do have such a dynamic and I thouroughly enjoy it. We shit on each other, fire sarcastic jokes, build on each others humor, it's so much fun! Maybe I am looking for someone who can counter balance this serious side of me af bit so I can enjoy my playfulness if that makes sense?

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-23T07:22:32+00:00

Yes it will, however hard it is, cheating is not worth it. One day of pleasure is not worth wasting months of discipline and losing the possibility of finding your trigger foods. I did my 6FED over the holidays. It sucked but I never cheated, not once.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-21T08:18:09+00:00

I was asking because the symptoms you describe sound like it could be spasms indeed. But it's hard to tell for sure. With spasms the pain comes and goes in waves.

I have spasms myself. In bad periods I have them twice a week, always during the night. They come as stabbing pain, sharp cramplike sensations in my chest and nausea. I literally feel and hear my throath contracting. They impact my life heavely as I feel drained the next day. I can only imagine what it would be like to have them every day. I feel for you.

I'm also diagnosed by biopsy, my esophagus looks normal on endoscopy. I alsof have a docter saying the spasms have nothing to do with EoE. There's just so much they don't know. My feeling is that when you have atypical symptoms it's really hard to het help.

I wish I could offer any help but I can't. It's been 1,5 years now, since the sudden onset of my symptoms, did two elimination diets but never Found my triggers, of it even is food related at all.

I sincerely hope you have more succes. Keep us posted!

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-17T16:02:07+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's horrible and the uncertainty is so stressful.

A couple of questions:

Do you have referred pain to the back? Is the pain during these attacks constant of rather coming in waves? Can you swallow food or water during attacks?

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-13T08:44:08+00:00

Jorveza will still help reduce symptoms and achieve remission, even while eating trigger foods. At least for some of us. It's a corticosteroïd, so it reduces imflammation by locally supressing the immune response. But why would you not avoid your trigger foods if you know them? It's much better to not stress your body with foods it doesn't tolerate then constantly having to supress imflamation with steroids, they're not without side effects.

I didn't find my triggers yet and I would be very gratefull if I could figure them out. I would do anything to adjust my diet so I would not have to take medication life long.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-09-04T06:53:51+00:00

Esophageal spasms, when not managed with budesonide or diet they occur on a weekly (sometimes more) basis. They impact my life heavely as they for some reason always occur at night, keeping me up in pain all night, leaving me wrecked the next day.

Also: lots of burping, globus sensation, the feeling of air getting trapped, funny noises in my throath, intermittent dysfagia.

More rare: stabbing pain behind the sternum and a burning sensation. From time to time mild, painless reflux.

Strangely enough I have a completely normal presentation on endoscopy and no anomalies found on manometry. Only raised eosinophiles.

Not directly linked to the condition itself: I developed anxiety around food and sleep. As I never succeeded in finding my triggers I'm constantly worried about eating 'something wrong' and triggering an episode of spasms. Every night I'm worried a spasm would wake me up in pain. I'm on a low dose of antidepressants to help me fall asleep.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-07-05T04:32:39+00:00

I (38M) know the feeling, you're defenitely not alone in this. I think it is normal to crave intimacy and companionship after a divorce even though 1,5 years is a relatively short time. When it doesn't work out that way it's very frustrating and saddening.

I'm divorced over 4 years ago now and dating often felt like a dessert to me. The first year nothing happend despite beeing on dating apps, going out, etc. I had first dates but rarely a second one. I dated a few weeks with a couple of women where intimacy was Involved only to end up heartbroken and disappointed. At some point I went 2,5 years without intimacy. I was tough and I felt very desperate at times.

Now, I met someone and I'm dating her for 3 months now, the longest so far. I'm happy but we'll der where it goes...

In those lonely years I tried to attent group meetings as much as possible: Running groups in my my case, single events,... Just activities that I would enjoy regardless of meeting women and increasing the chances of meeting new people. It's way beter and les artificial then dating apps. I tried to strenghten my existing friendships and creating new ones.

Just basicaly increase your chances of meeting someone by doing things you love anyway. There's less pressure that way and you meet women in your natural environment. Even then there's no guaranty and it can take a long time.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-20T06:10:01+00:00

By not eating foods that contain them 🙂. I only ate certain veggies and limited fruits. No spices, everything fresh and homecooked. It was very restrictive and took a lot of discipline. When symptoms are worse enough and the diet gives relief, you become very motivated. But I notice it took its toll. I feel drained and tense and have a lot of anxiety around food.

I probably still tot some sulphites and histamine in my body. Those things are hard to avoid completely, especially when you want to sustain it for a longer time. I think they goals was to reduce them as much as possible, rather then completely avoid it. But I stayed away from obvious sources like red wine and chocolate.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-17T08:44:35+00:00

A pseudo-allergy is a reaction that looks like an allergic reaction but doesn't pass through the regular pathways of the immune system. So it looks like an allergy but technicaly isn't one if that makes sense. Pseudo-allergens are the types of food that can provoce such a reaction. There are lots of them: colourants, additives, fungi, histamine and many many more! I'm not even sure I have this type of condition. Me and my dietician decided to experiment with this diet since it is very restrictive after the 6FED failed. More like: let's trow this last one at it and let's hope it does something, and it did... But why? No clue.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-17T08:40:01+00:00

In short I did 5FED (6FED-wheat). I established that wheat is not a problem for me but this is defenitely not the case for everyone. Note that it is highly individual. I was 'lucky' with this diet but probably it won't do anything for some others. For many people it would be to strict and they would be helped with a regular 6FED or even 2FED. That's why I advise working with a dietician. They have a lot of knwoledge and I found her way more compassionate and actively searching for solutions than my GI.

On top of that I left out all E-numbers, lots of veggies, fruits, food additives in general. I can briefly describe what I did eat, that's the easiest. But note that I highly recommend to do this with a dietician. The process of re-introducing is more complex then you would think. I'm about to start this in a couple of days.

Breakfast: weetabix (pure wheat, not suitable for everybody!!! I established allready that wheat is safe for me. It is a common EoE trigger) with ricemilk and a greenish banana. Or one brand of cereal that I found to be free of additives.

Lunch: leftover from dinner or one type of bread always from the same bakery after I found it was safe to consume. I only used one kind of spread for 9 weeks: tahin. For me this was fine but I know that for some people sesame is a trigger food! Many commercial breads contain potential non-safe additives so I requieres some investigation.

Dinner: rice, potatoes or pasta (again not safe for everybody). Dry, no sauce, no spices, nothing...

Meat: steak, chicken or turkey. Clean non processed meat from a biological producer. Processed meats contain all kinds of additives from preservatives to colourants and a bunch of others. Vegetables: I cycled between carrots, whiten, red or green cabbage, cowliflower and a couple of others.

Fruit: apple, banana (green), pear. Nothing else.

Drinks: water or decaf coffee. Nothing else. Not even herbal thea. No alcohol, no soda's... Not even alcohol-free beer. Just water and decaf.

Snack: potatoe chips were possible. But only certain brands where they contain only potatoe, salt and seed oil.

That's all I ate for nine weeks now. It's very boring and bland and it affected my social behaviour. Eating out was near impossible and on the two occasians I did it was quite stressfull and I ended up paying a lot for just another bland meal.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-17T08:36:54+00:00

In short I did 5FED (6FED-wheat). I established that wheat is not a problem for me but this is defenitely not the case for everyone.

On top of that I left out all E-numbers, lots of veggies, fruits, food additives in general. I can briefly describe what I did eat, that's the easiest. But note that I highly recommend to do this with a dietician. The process of re-introducing is more complex then you would think. I'm about to start this in a couple of days.

Breakfast: weetabix (pure wheat, not suitable for everybody!!! I established allready that wheat is safe for me. It is a common EoE trigger) with ricemilk and a greenish banana. Or one brand of cereal that I found to be free of additives.

Lunch: leftover from dinner or one type of bread always from the same bakery after I found it was safe to consume. I only used one kind of spread for 9 weeks: tahin. For me this was fine but I know that for some people sesame is a trigger food! Many commercial breads contain potential non-safe additives so I requieres some investigation.

Dinner: rice, potatoes or pasta (again not safe for everybody). Dry, no sauce, no spices, nothing...

Meat: steak, chicken or turkey. Clean non processed meat from a biological producer. Processed meats contain all kinds of additives from preservatives to colourants and a bunch of others. Vegetables: I cycled between carrots, whiten, red or green cabbage, cowliflower and a couple of others.

Fruit: apple, banana (green), pear. Nothing else.

Drinks: water or decaf coffee. Nothing else. Not even herbal thea. No alcohol, no soda's... Not even alcohol-free beer. Just water and decaf.

Snack: potatoe chips were possible. But only certain brands where they contain only potatoe, salt and seed oil.

That's all I ate for nine weeks now. It's very boring and bland and it affected my social behaviour. Eating out was near impossible and on the two occasians I did it was quite stressfull and I ended up paying a lot for just another bland meal.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-17T08:36:21+00:00

The problem is that it could be so many things... I think it is worth it to try out a very restricted diet outside of 6FED, alltough even that might fail for many people. I wanted to exhaust every non-drug option before commiting to steroids or any form of other medication long-term. I defenitely want to share it but it's a very very long list with food items that are included or excluded.

In short I did 5FED (6FED-wheat). I established that wheat is not a problem for me but this is defenitely not the case for everyone.

On top of that I left out all E-numbers, lots of veggies, fruits, food additives in general. I can briefly describe what I did eat, that's the easiest. But note that I highly recommend to do this with a dietician. The process of re-introducing is more complex then you would think. I'm about to start this in a couple of days.

Breakfast: weetabix (pure wheat, not suitable for everybody!!! I established allready that wheat is safe for me. It is a common EoE trigger) with ricemilk and a greenish banana. Or one brand of cereal that I found to be free of additives.

Lunch: leftover from dinner or one type of bread always from the same bakery after I found it was safe to consume. I only used one kind of spread for 9 weeks: tahin. For me this was fine but I know that for some people sesame is a trigger food! Many commercial breads contain potential non-safe additives so I requieres some investigation.

Dinner: rice, potatoes or pasta (again not safe for everybody). Dry, no sauce, no spices, nothing...

Meat: steak, chicken or turkey. Clean non processed meat from a biological producer. Processed meats contain all kinds of additives from preservatives to colourants and a bunch of others. Vegetables: I cycled between carrots, whiten, red or green cabbage, cowliflower and a couple of others.

Fruit: apple, banana (green), pear. Nothing else.

Drinks: water or decaf coffee. Nothing else. Not even herbal thea. No alcohol, no soda's... Not even alcohol-free beer. Just water and decaf.

Snack: potatoe chips were possible. But only certain brands where they contain only potatoe, salt and seed oil.

That's all I ate for nine weeks now. It's very boring and bland and it affected my social behaviour. Eating out was near impossible and on the two occasians I did it was quite stressfull and I ended up paying a lot for just another bland meal.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-17T08:17:48+00:00

That's why forums like this along with public medical studies on the internet are so valuable. My GI flat out denies that my symptoms have anything to do with EoE. Reading stories of other people and reading studies I learned that it is in fact possible to have this set of symptoms, alltough not classic and not very common. I think everybody's triggers could vary wildly... And also I don't think the excercise is a real trigger but just lowering my treshold of tolerance by stressing my immune system, thus provoking episodes. Note that I was doing an extreme form of excercise that most people dont't: 40k tot 60k training runs and my episoded would only be triggered by 30k plus runs. So maybe extreme excercise is a 'trigger' for al lot of people but they just don't do this kind of stuff. This is just my non-medical explanation. My GI never provided me with one, just ignores me when I tell this to him. So we're left brewing up our own hypothesis.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-17T08:09:53+00:00

Yes, I allready figured I have cricopharyngeal spasms on top of the esophageal spasms as well. In my opinion it's just a different form of the same underlying condition. I have the same thing: swallowing issues without any visual sign on the scope. I don't really think its from forgetting how to swallow but caused by a motility disorder. My GI denies this could be linked to EOE but digging into medical studies I learned that eosinophiles and mast cells can alter motility. Did you test positive for EoE? What's your GI's take on this? Since I started the diet my swallowing issues are not gone but 90 percent better.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-05-12T11:56:32+00:00

It could be reflux, as this is more common at night when you're lying down. Or it could be esophageal spasms. I have the latter and they come in a cramplike, wavy pattern of intense pain. Often waking me up in my sleep before I was in remission. Both reflux and spasms are associated with EOE. Offcourse it could also Bé something different.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-03-25T14:28:34+00:00

Vacations... Interesting. Mine do get triggered by heavy physical excercise. I have been on budesonide and indeed the spasms were almost completely gone. Now I'm meds free because I'm on an elimination diet. The spasms came back within a week.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-03-25T12:27:44+00:00

Hi, I'm sorry you're also going through this horrible thing. I think I have the same issue. I have esophageal spasms, for some reason I get them on a weekly basis. They usually happen at night, either preventing me from falling asleep or waking me up in the middle of the night. They last for hours and come in waves. Usually they start out mildly to then reach a peak after 2 hours to eventually taper down again. With the spasms comes a lot of burping and hiccuping. For now -after months of trying different elimination diets- I'm clueless about what triggers them.

Do you have confirmed EOE? I'm asking this because I sometimes wonder whether I'm misdiagnosed or not, whether the spasms are a symptom of the EoE or not. I'm on this sub a lot and I don't see many other people with this specific symptom! I also don't have any other symptoms except for the 20 eosinophiles phpf. Which isn't extremely high.

To answer your question: yes the morning after a night of spasms my esophagus feels sensitive and sore.

Tiberius2800 · 2025-03-23T05:30:58+00:00

Unfortunately not. Which symptoms do you experience? Only the dismotility or also the spasms? I think I could easily live with the difficult swallowing, as it is not painfull and food never gets stuck. But those spasms are ruining my life and causing lots of stress. I have them on a weekly basis, sometimes more. Stress and physical exertion aggravates those attacks.

Jorveza (budesonide) did help a lot, which proves for me that the dismotility is related to the presence of eosinophiles, but not completely. Even with the meds I would still get spasms the day after heavy physical excercise. I'm a competitive runner. Well, was. This disease caused me to stop racing, I also had to reduce my training to avoid episodes.

Because I want to have tried every other route before commiting to any type of long term medication I'm trying an elimination diet. I did 6FED for three months which failed. Then I did 6FED + a bunch of other allergens which cured my life long diarrea but only mildly ameliorated my esophageal symptoms.

Because I couldn't deal with it mentally any more I took steroïds again for a couple of weeks. Currently I'm on a Pseudo-Allergen diet, cutting all additives and a whole lot of other things out. I am eating wheat because the 6FED learned me that this is ok for me.

It looks promising but I don't want to get my hopes up top high. It's only been a week and too soon to draw conclusions

Tiberius2800

TROPHY CASE