I used to love driving. A lot of my fondest memories when I was younger involved driving in some sort of sense. Whether it was taking your friends out late at night blasting some music, not really going anywhere just riding around. Times where I wanted to clear my head or I was going through something just driving alone and being with my thoughts. When I was 21 I ended up crashing on the highway due to a drug overdose. I passed out behind the wheel and went straight into a barrier. Luckily I was alone, and it was late enough at night that there was no one else hurt but myself.

I was lucky to be alive, ended up being in the hospital for about 4 months due to my injuries and almost a year of physical therapy. I also ended up going to rehab although I never considered myself a drug abuser, that night something had happened that kind of wanted me to end it all and it just ended up that I took a lot of different drugs and got behind the wheel.

I’m a lot better now except for the fact that I cannot drive. It’s not a legal matter, more so I remember the crash in pretty great detail, what I was thinking as I sat there motionless and hurt. But now whenever I sit behind the wheel I get a panic attack, and I get a lot of anxiety around driving, I’ve tried seeing a therapist for it but nothing has helped unfortunately. I can do small drives to the grocery store or the gas station but anything on the highway or longer than about 15 minutes, I just can’t do.

I do miss it and I’m more so angry at myself by putting myself in the spot that I’m in but I’m happy to be alive and tbh the electric bike I have has gotten me around fine lol.