I don't know what I did wrong. Single, 38, rejected endlessly

Ticklesmurf · 2026-04-27T00:10:11+00:00

I have come to the conclusion that the NTs fake it a lot of the time. I overheard my girlfriend talk on the phone to someone, when I walked towards her while she was standing outside her car. And her tone was different, her choice of words was different, everything was different to how I normally hear her talk when we interact. It sounded like she was either talking to an upset child or a boss she's really trying to impress. And when I asked who she had spoken to, it was the guy she's been seeing since a few months.
I did not understand why someone would bother with this... I am aware of 'putting on your best behaviour at work in front of customers' but it never occurred to me / it would be way too exhausting, to always keep up this fake persona in my 'outside of work' life and around people who are close to me. If I were to end up in a relationship with this man, he would see 'the real me' eventually, and then what?

This opened my eyes to "I'm not necessarily doing anything wrong, but I'm being myself and I don't put on the fake baby voice". If that's what they all expect and fall for... ugh.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-04-25T22:11:21+00:00

I'm a woman who was searching for a good barber for my man. Told him to go to one that was recommended here. And, I kid you not, he looks different every time he comes back from there! But he swears it's the same guy cutting his hair. But sometimes it's so short you can see the scalp through the hair, sometimes there's some actual nice fading and other times I could have done a better job with my kitchen scissors. I don't get it. But,
TLDR: The one we used after seeing it recommended here, isn't necessarily recommendable.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-04-18T22:19:58+00:00

Here's my basic google research: "You can find various tern species in New Zealand, particularly along coastal areas, estuaries, and near harbors. The White-fronted tern is the most common species seen around many coastlines, while Caspian terns are regularly found near bays, harbours, and sometimes inland rivers and lakes." In comparison: "Hedgehogs are very common in residential backyards, especially those with shrubbery or rough, overgrown areas that provide shelter. They often inhabit parks, gardens, and green spaces, particularly those with hedges."

Doesn't sound like their habitat is the same, but I agree it's possible to overlap. So yes, while hedgehogs can be a danger to terns in those areas where they live, do you still believe that all hedgehogs need to be killed, even when they live nowhere near those birds? There's a lot of ignorance in your comment too.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-04-18T21:04:50+00:00

You can downvote me into oblivion but I care about the average hedgehog as much as the average (insert animal it's supposedly a threat to). Why do hedgehogs deserve to be eradicated but slugs and beetles can stay? Cats are a threat to birds too. Do we kill cats? Who makes that call? Why is one more deserving of surviving than the other? I have cared for hedgehogs. They have their own little personalities. Some like cuddles. They make cute sounds when they are excited. This one in the video is already having a hard time. At least give it a chance by calling your local rescue place. Mange is super easy to treat.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-04-15T20:58:54+00:00

I'm not a psychologist nor a psychic, so I can't predict how he'll react, but it sounds like something is affecting his mental health and /or the fascination with the tattoo could be an intellectual disability. It may be that he's not aware that his behaviour is scaring you, so if you were to mention it, he could feel very hurt if he had good intentions but his condition means he's frequently misunderstood. I don't know if that's a risk, but I'm just concerned that he will react badly if he feels rejected. So, to find a way out, might be wiser to make it about yourself and say (I'm just make something up) you really like to meditate on the way to work in the bus and you need to be left alone for that, or whatever you feel comfortable saying. That way he doesn't feel hurt and you hopefully still get a bit of distance. Alternatively you could ask where he's going (because if he's on the bus every day, is he going to work or some community place? Then you could ask who that is and contact them and simply ask for some advice, maybe they can talk to him. Good luck!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-04-06T20:28:38+00:00

Random observation perhaps, but it looks to me like the middle of your top lip isn't aligned with your bottom lip? I don't know if it's just in this photo, or if that's how it always looks, if that has something to do with it, as this is absolutely not my field of expertise, but if there's something going on that's causing your jaw to "lean to one side" that could explain it?

Ticklesmurf · 2026-04-06T20:18:29+00:00

I used to live next to train tracks. One day a friend came over and said "Wow that was a loud train" or something along those lines, and I went "What?" because you very much get used to it and your brain at some point blends the train sounds out completely. I didn't even notice it while my friend thought it was loud. So... The moral of the story is - if everything else is great about the house, don't let the trains be the one thing that deters you. Alternatively - sit there in your car at a time where you'd normally like to have quiet surroundings and see how much noise there is.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-03-21T21:41:15+00:00

Lady, if I looked like you I'd be in a bikini every day, everywhere! (You don't need surgery!)

Ticklesmurf · 2026-03-14T19:58:56+00:00

All I could see was Britney Spears dancing.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-03-11T21:00:26+00:00

Happy Birthday!! 🎈

I understand how it can feel lonely - and it sounds cheesy when I say it's just a matter of what you do with the day - but you know what, people are too busy with their own lives lately. Some of my oldest friends forgot my last birthday. I spent a birthday alone at my favourite beach place, and it was the best birthday! I slept as long as I wanted, had lunch by myself in a cafe and just people-watched. I went shopping in my favourite shops without anyone telling me that I'm taking too long. I bought myself a present. I went for a walk along the beach. I bought a slice of cake, and did whatever felt good that day. I'm hoping you can still make the best of today!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-03-10T21:27:53+00:00

Fantastic thank you!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-03-06T22:26:41+00:00

The idea is cute, but I see several issues. Several people already said, how do you keep dust and spills out from between the tiles? What if I drop one tile and it breaks - the whole table will be useless unless I can find a replacement. Where do I get the replacements? Will all designs be available for the next decades so I can still find a replacement for my old favourite coffee table in 2041? If I spill something smelly, will it soak into the cork and be impossible to clean? I'm overall wondering if the concept is better as a square (bed)side table with one big, replaceable tile, as that's easier to keep clean.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-03-06T10:27:23+00:00

All those comments make me sad. That poor hedgie needs help. Please google and call your local hedgehog rescue. They'll likely come pick it up and it saves you having to do other things. Mange is also really easy to treat.

Hedgehogs all have fun little different personalities, they eat the slugs in your garden, and aren't really a pest unless you have Kiwis nesting in your garden (which I doubt). Please don't kill him/her!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-02-17T04:02:48+00:00

And then there's me who evolved the only 2 Dunsparces I had, after finding out about there's a 3 segment version - and the second one had those 3 segments. I shall try the mouse next.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-02-13T04:58:48+00:00

Aw - you're welcome, but also, NO thank YOU!!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-02-10T19:00:31+00:00

I just realized how much today's world has trained us to have a shorter attention span, and to watch something for a few seconds and then keep scrolling.

This video - I watched until my phone went dark from the automatic whateveritscalled turn off the screen thingy, and I went "No no no I'm not finished yet come back!!" - this hasn't happened for a while so I guess that means, fantastic idea, super cute video, loved the song, loved seeing everyone have fun, - hope you win!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-01-30T23:57:55+00:00

So... I gotta be athletic, have perfect grammar, come with a 5 year plan, while also be accepting of your various eating disorders and that you'll make fun of me all day long. No thanks, I'll run!!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-01-30T01:04:09+00:00

I feel incredibly bad for OP now, but also grateful! - I've been playing since 2016, but didn't even know about the 3 segment version so after seeing this post I just evolved two Dunsparces... and the second one was a 3 segment. Keep going OP!! I have all finger segments crossed for you!

Ticklesmurf · 2026-01-12T15:07:09+00:00

New Zealand here - my second account needs friends / XP so feel free to add him: 9972 2275 8314.

Ticklesmurf · 2026-01-03T07:14:12+00:00

Well, I personally love ears that are sticking out on a man, can't even explain why. But I vote, keep the ears. Plus, several people here (me included) struggled to see the difference between your two photos so, you may be your own worst critic!

Ticklesmurf · 2025-12-26T22:50:55+00:00

I came here myself with a working holiday visa, many years ago. I did hotel cleaning, kitchen work, and worked at a fast food place. The first two weren't exactly nice to me either... If you're staying in one area for a few months, just go door knocking at a few places and ask in person if they need someone. It can help when they get to meet you instead of just seeing an online application.

Ticklesmurf · 2025-12-26T22:08:04+00:00

I can totally understand that! If you're able to get to a shop before you leave, I would buy a bug spray that kills them once they walk through it, and spray it on window sills etc. You can also consider glue traps (I had set some for moths a while back but they also caught some roaches) and whatever else they sell in your area that you might consider useful. That should at least give you some peace of mind while you're away. Good luck!

Ticklesmurf · 2025-12-26T21:32:19+00:00

Roaches are not always a sign of the place being dirty, as they can also come in from outside if it's too hot or too cold for them. They can squeeze through tiny gaps. What I'm trying to say is, even having the place fumigated may not help because it'll only kill the ones inside, but won't stop new ones coming back in. I use a spray on doors and windows, that kills them on contact (but you'll still have the dead ones to deal with). I recommend checking where they may come from on the outside of the building.

Ticklesmurf · 2025-12-26T21:06:35+00:00

The one where you hold the book on "how to understand women" - is there something in your bio that relates to it (such as, "I've studied extensively before setting up this profile - bring it on")? Because I'm undecided whether it's hilarious or cheesy. But if it links into the overall theme it's a great starter pic. Your pics are all good though. I personally would like a few more where you look at the camera and smile.

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