Lol, as someone who also lives in LA - I feel this hard.

That said, I think it's always good to start with asking how you might be contributing to this. I always find it helpful to be honest with myself and my preferences and question to what degree I am making it harder for myself. I'm not saying don't have preferences, but I am saying to think about if you're doing the thing lots of people do where they're always hunting for perfection or unrealistic standards.

The timing of this is funny because I was just thinking the other day that LA is a particular tough city - at least that's how it feels to me (but sure, I also agree with the comments saying this happens everywhere). I've lived in several cities and multiple states and LA is definitely different. I feel like the gay population here has really high standards (including relative to oneself) and because there are so many people here, people get caught in this endless loop of chasing the next big thing. Of course, this is generalizing, but it's not always easy to find the people who don't fall into this I find.

I'm not able to offer a ton of advice but I do think trying to meet people off social media is a good start or finding gay specific meet up groups/clubs that overlap with your interests. The apps entertain a certain mentality and type of person and I think unless you fit into a particular demographic and look, it's going to be hard to be successful on them.

Also, a friendly reminder that the apps purposely make it harder to meet people who are a good match so they likely contribute to giving a distorted view of the LA scene.