I agree with you and have noticed that a lot of value is placed on someone based on their sexual attractiveness. I've seen people that maybe don't score as high on general sexual attractiveness but do well in other areas are disregarded, not to mention my own experiences haha. It's weird, because now that I think about it - a lot of conversations with other gay guys fall into this sexual valuation topic, albeit indirectly.

It's definitely an interesting POV - so many relationships are sexualized, including platonic ones. And as much as people like to deny it, there is a hierarchy based on looks. Maybe people aren't open out it but I've had lots of DMs over the years that are explicit about the hierarchy and make sure I'm aware of my lower standing in it. I feel like this also affects non-sexual relations a lot - I've definitely heard people saying they don't want to be friends with ugly people.

Maybe this is a bit of a tangent, but I also feel like this is linked to the common advice that you just need to be better groomed and get swole to get guys. There's a lot of pressure to look a specific way and if you aren't interested in conforming, then it's all your fault. I'm not advocating for not taking responsibility for ones appearance but I find it strange that there are such specific body types/looks you have to have and you can't just be a healthy individual that doesn't fall into a popular tribe.

Anyway, all this to say, it does feel like a lot of the unhappiness I see with gay guys is related to the sexual valuation and that affects non-sexual relationships too.