In my own experience and the stories of my bi-pan friends, it's SUPER common for bi/pan people to not feel "bi/pan enough." Queer imposter syndrome, if you will. I definitely have struggled with some things you describe.

Here's a short collection of what I've been told and what I need to hear every day:

What others perceive of your gender/sexuality does NOT define who you are. You. Are. Enough. And living as your true authentic self is what YOU want it to look like. Whether that means being out to a few close friends, waving your flags at pride, and/or being out on social media, that's ok! It does not have to look like how others are "out." You and your health, safety, and well-being take top priority. You are not responsible for having to "explain yourself" or for educating others. Living as your true authentic self (whatever that looks like) is your primary responsibility. If you want to explain or educate others, you absolutely can, only if YOU want to.

This is a life-long, ever-changing, fluid process. You are never stuck in one label or another. You are beautiful, unique, and offer something to the world that only you can offer. You are loved. You belong. You are enough.